Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

13. A Confusing Decision

The sound of the door creaking, the light from the living room hit the floor of the room, giving a little light in this dark room. The light disappeared again then after that felt the mattress next to me swaying. The soft touch of the hand on the back feels warm.

"Yu. Forgive me for mother's words. I didn't expect mom to talk like that to you," said Mas Hilman still gently rubbing my back. I turned my face in the other direction. Not wanting to stare at Mas Hilman nor get up to talk to him. These eyes are swollen from crying, mother's words really make me hurt.

"What's my fault, Mom? I don't want the core either, Mas. I want to have a child too. Why don't you understand my position and my feelings?" I kept going without looking at him. These tears just kept pouring down the pillow I used to drown this face.

"Yu, I don't like you talking like that either."

"Then? Are you defending me in front of your mother? You're gonna understand and apologize for that hurtful thing?" I asked Mas Hilman with emotion, now I turned my head to look at him who just looked down helplessly.

"I've tried to be patient with your mother, I've also tried to sincerely accept Hana because of my shortcomings and also I try to be patient with her behavior like a child. I'm patient, Mom!!" I shouted at Mas Hilman.

"Couldn't you just not say that like me? Mom made me hurt. I'm not a perfect woman as a wife, I can't really love offspring for you, but I shouldn't have to talk to you like me either, Mas!" I shouted revealing the sense of tightness that was in this heart. It's up to Mas Hilman to think of me as what. I was really disappointed with my mother's attitude towards me.

"I'm sorry Yu's mother. I'll talk to you."

"Maybe mom was right. We should have finished it. I don't think I'm going to be strong with mother's words like this." My crying is getting worse. Not strong heart to endure the pain.

"I beg you not to say that. I'm sure it's just the beginning, then mom will get used to it and I won't say that again I'll talk to mom, so that mom doesn't bring up the matter of the child again from you." Mas Hilman begged me, his burly hand holding mine. His eyes are sad.

"That's precisely Mas, it's just the beginning, what about later? Especially if I don't get pregnant soon?" I asked Mas Hilman with great emphasis.

"No yuk, I'll reassure you at all costs. I beg you not to be far from me."

"You've actually done that!"

" I know I was wrong, I'm sorry."

I wiped my tears that were still flowing. I don't know if I'm confused. Although this marriage is wrong, but Hana is still Mas Hilman's wife. That woman also deserves my husband. I could only pull my knee and hide this face there.

In my heart I always said I had to be strong, but in fact I couldn't. I'm just a weak woman, who can't pretend to be strong. I'll cry too.

"Mahilman!" Mother's voice was heard calling from outside.

"Diamond!!" this time it sounded a little louder than before. "Here ma'am want to talk!" Mother exclaimed again

"Yes, Mom." Mas Hilman was just as yelling at mom.

"I'll see you first, we'll talk later. Please, I don't want to be away from you Yu. Don't think about divorce." she asked before she got up and walked out of this room.

I hugged my knees tightly and came back crying sobbing. Whether I'm stupid or something, I can't find a way out.

The phone rang, I immediately picked up my phone on the nightstand. Call from Sinta.

Before pressing the green icon I shrank the tears on my cheeks and cleared my throat to normalize my voice.

"Yes Sin?" Ask me after I picked up the call.

"Mbak Ayu, Bude fainted again. It's again taken to the hospital."

Not much to talk about. He just said which hospital my mother was taken to. I quickly ended my call and immediately grabbed the key of the motorbike in the nightstand drawer. I picked up a jacket hanging from the door, thick enough to keep out the night breeze.

It sounded like mom was talking to Mas Hilman in the living room. I don't know what they're talking about I can't hear it, my mind is in a mess. Hana was also there sitting next to mom. They were silent as I just closed the door of the room, looking at me with a strange look.

"Where are you Yu?" Ask Mas Hilman to me.

"To the hospital. I fainted." I answered quickly and then I rushed out of the house.

Immediately I put this motorbike towards the hospital that Sinta mentioned earlier.

Mom's condition is getting worse, I don't know what else you think until you can faint like this. In this one month somehow the number of times Mother had fainted, I was very worried about the state of mother.

I sat next to the mother who was still asleep, the mother was awake from her fainting and the mother fell asleep due to the drugs given by the doctor.

"Mbak, sorry. Sinta was panicking until she called Mbak." I lyrics Sinta who also sits beside the mother, her head bowed, her fingers crumpling each other. Sinta looks bad to me.

"Here is Sin, what you did was right. You should contact Ma'am if there is an incident like this. The regretful mother cannot take good care of her" I said while stroking my mother's hand.

The sound of a phone ringing sounded from one of my jackets, immediately I took out the one and saw the name listed there, Mas Hilman.

"Bak out first." I'm standing. Sinta nodded her head.

Outside the mother's room, I sat on a row of benches. Then I picked up the call from my husband.

"What hospital are you in?" He asked me directly. I'll just answer the hospital where we're at.

"I'll catch up with you!"

The call stopped unilaterally, I was just stunned to see my phone screen now blackened.

Sure there was no more phone calls I entered the room.

"Sin if you want to go home it's okay. Mas Hilman will be here soon too." Say to sinta.

"Don't papa be left?" I shook my head. Poor Sinta, she also worried about the state of mother when I should be the one who takes care of her healthy and sick mother.

Sinta went home because tomorrow she has to go to college in the morning. I'm just waiting here alone.

Before long Mas Hilman came.The look of his face looks worried. He walked closer to us.

"How's mom doing?" mas Hilman asked, his breathing gasping with his chest rising and falling.

"Mother is asleep, I don't know how Mom is like this. I'm scared!" I'm talking honestly with him. One hand gently stroked my shoulder.

I was so scared of losing my mother. Then I remembered my decision to ask for a divorce from her. What would happen if you knew I was divorced from Mas Hilman?