Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission
304. Women Besides Goddess
Hilman Pov's
Since that night, I couldn't think well. The meeting with the Goddess made me not okay afterwards. The shadow of the woman who was no longer young made me often think and also imagine, it might be good if when I came home from work there was someone who welcomed me, who gave me coffee or just asked, "What do you want to eat, Mom?"
Uh, kok Mas?
Obviously I'm two years down there, maybe replace it with another call, or just a name.
"What do you want to eat, man?"
Ah, it feels really inappropriate, strange if a couple calls with a name just like that, let alone calling a husband by name.
A woman who can make me feel at home and want to go home quickly, a woman who will welcome me when I come home from work or wake me up to pray, disperse my concentration and make me not feel at home watching the ball show. Spending time together into my old age.
Why am I thinking like this? I obviously fantasized too much. He's not who I am, not my partner. In fact, I may not even know if I start thinking about it.
Am I going crazy?
I think I'm crazy for falling in love for the next time.
Ah, what's wrong with me? I started imagining things that were not-no, even I started imagining something disgusting with that woman as well. Yeah, you know what I mean. A dream that made me become dizzy seven circumference. Not only my head, but there is another head that is dizzy and does not want to subside because of this. It has been a long time no co-star and if it is not able to stand it again forced to linger in the bathroom.
In the factory, there were some people who betrothed me to supervisors from other divisions, supervisors in the sewing section, a widow with a six-year-old son. She was beautiful, more beautiful than the goddess. Also seen from his attitude to me who often seek attention, often bring food or drinks every morning, said he cooked more and no one spent the food at home.
I often avoid the woman, but somehow even often meet with her, even though my work room and work room are quite far away, but we often meet when entering or returning to work. He greeted first and approached, and I could not refuse his presence.
She has a six-year-old child, obviously needs are very much needed, school fees and so on. Moreover, I have Vita who still often to check up health. It was impossible for me to be with him with the salary and also the arrears I had.
He also works, leave his son with the neighbors, if later I marry him and he is still working, surely my son will be in the care of others. However, if he stops working and takes care of two children, can his affection for Rata with Vita? Is he able to accept Vita in her current state? Does he want to be bothered with the affairs of Vita who often go back and forth to the hospital? I also have to be ready to work alone, support my little family and also.
Ah, ja. There is still a mother I have. Will he be able to accept my salary that should be shared with mom as well?
She is indeed beautiful, but I can't compare with the Goddess's kindness all along.
Again the Goddess, my goodness. Goddess and Goddess in my mind.
The night was getting late, Vita woke up and a little whining in her sleep, she pointed at the bottle on the table. I understand that he is hungry and needs milk. I woke up and made him warm milk. Before long Vita fell back asleep again very soundly.
I was thinking about reducing Vita's milk ration and stopping Vita from consuming milk. Vita is almost two years old, is old enough and can eat like an adult. A little heavy actually at a time like now in a time when the needs are getting more and also my dependents are mounting.
My life is a mess now. Often regretted, but there is no point in just lamenting this kind of situation.
I hugged my daughter, followed her into a dreamland, eradicating this tormenting fatigue in body and soul.
***
"Mas Hilman," called someone whom I knew very well. Obviously familiar because all this time he who often approached me.
"Eh, not overtime?" I asked him, which I heard yesterday he should be overtime, and it made me happy, but why is he coming home now?
"Not overtime, Mom. I got permission to go home, about the kids I asked for someone else to replace" he said. His face looks a little different than usual.
"Annu ... Can Hilman help me?" askinya.
"Please what?"
"I was waiting for the child at home" I refused subtly.
"Well, please dong, Mas. Just this once, please help me, just for a second. Not half an hour there. About gasoline I changed," he said with a little force.
I was confused if he didn't understand what I was saying.
"Em, I can't. My son if this hour already knows, it's waiting usually." I refused it again, I had thought about when the day would be, unwilling to deal with him and the others. My business alone has made me dizzy let alone take care of the others!
"So really can't?" ask her in a sad tone.
"Sorry, I can't go. You have also promised that returning home from work today would take him to the supermarket," I reasoned. If this one I lied to him, but about Vita waiting for me it's true.
"Oh, yes, then. I'm sorry," he said.
"Why do you have to apologize? I should have apologized for not being able to drive you there."
"Eh, yes. I mean, I'm sorry for making Mas Hilman stop his way" he said with a shy smile.
"Oh that's okay, I understand that you are in a difficult situation and also confused. Do you want me to order an online motorcycle? If the same doesn't have an app?" tanyaku.
"Ah, if the application exists anyway. But if the clock comes home from work like this usually wait a long time because it is stuck," he said again.
"Oh, I like to get stuck. It is rush hour. Speaking of traffic jams, I also seem to have to go home right now. Later if long in the way my son can look around," say to him.
"Eh, yes. Please if Mas Hilman wants to go to the parking lot. I also want to go out the gate. I'm first yeah." He nodded his head then walked quickly outwards. I don't know if he's trying to get close to me again or if he needs help. However, I really can't get close to women in the meantime. It's sad to be a single man with a lot of debt.
I took the bike from the parking lot, along with the other employees who also took the vehicle.
"Cieee, who's another pretty widow!" another exclaim teased as I took the bike.
"Who?" I dodged. The helmet I had in my hand was wearing on my head. Preparing to take out the motor that was there, the butut motorbike that I bought with great difficulty from the porters in the market and also became a parking attendant. Compared to the other bikes, my bike looks old and also not worth it, but it's okay that the important thing can still be used to go to work.
"Don't pretend, Mom. Beautiful why not just accepted," said one of the men who was there.
"accepted? Shoot also not," I said.
"Yes means Mas Hilman should shoot him first. He already gave the code with every morning giving food the same drink," he added again.
"That's what he wants, not what I'm asking for."
"Yes eelah. Don't sell it too expensive, Mom. What is less than him? Beautiful, white, good again" she said.
"If the matter of accepting it is easy, which is not easy now how to support other people's children. How to make them comfortable. I'm still hard, but I want to make it hard for others." I smiled and started taking my bike out of there.
"I guess if it's a problem he knows it too. I used to talk to him. He said he had no problem living hard."
"What a problem it is now me. I don't want to take someone else's child with me. Eating just has to be flushed, adding two more heads feels heavy," I said honestly.
"Well, how heavy is the life of Mas Hilman?" tanyakanya.
"If my life is not heavy, I've changed this bike for a long time the same new one," said I was wrong who patted the dashboard of my bike.
"Pamit first, yeah. Don't ghibah. Watch out for my gosipin!" Punjuku while giving warning to them. The men just smiled, it looked strange to me. It's possible that after I leave here they will continue their conversation about me and him.
