Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

6. Apology

Two days I was at my mother's house, not a single message or call from Mas Hilman was addressed to me.

I don't know if it's because I'm still hoping or maybe I'm feeling suspicious about that guy. I check my phone often, but everything I want to see is nil. No messages at all.

I wish what? She call me? She said her second marriage was due to her mother's coercion, but why didn't she give me any attention? Suppose I asked what am I doing? Have you eaten or not? Or just to send me home. There's not one!

From yesterday I thought, I will keep this marriage for my mother. Although my love for Mas Hilman is now faltering and it will not be easy to love him again like before. There's also I was thinking if in the end they might split up later ....

Ah, why am I? I've come to think of things that far, is it possible that they will split up? What was I expecting? In fact, they just got married a few days ago.

I put all my thoughts aside, immediately I put the seasoning I had sliced into the hot oil. The smell of spices smelled under the nose. I have to finish cooking before mom gets home from her school.

Mother said, wanted me to cook salted squid with lots of green chili, the seeds I had thrown away so that mother would not be too spicy to eat this. Not to forget with boiled cabbage lalapan and also lettuce, tomato sauce is also a complement to this lunch dish.

I wrote the clock on the wall, ten o'clock in the morning, mom's coming home about eleven o'clock. The recitation was held in the morning after seven, usually in the madrasah will be held prayer duha before the teaching ceremony began. Continued with another show that I don't know what else. And will come home around ten in the morning, plus the trip, usually around eleven o'clock the mother and the neighbors will return.

I used to ask my mother for a routine study held every day of the week, but only three times I joined, too, I resigned because one of my mother's friends continued to target me to be her daughter-in-law, while I was already engaged to Mas Hilman.

If and if only. Suppose I used to be with a friend's son mother. Sometimes I think maybe I won't have the fate that I am today, or worse than this?

I shook my head and continued to stir the contents inside the frying pan. The smell of salty squid tastes fragrant especially after I add tomatoes shortly before the food is cooked. Me and my mom don't really like tomatoes that wither in cooking.

"Assynolajet. Assalamualaikum!" Someone's voice was heard as I was about to taste the cuisine. I quickly blew the surface of my hand that I had just applied the sauce and tasted it a little. Less sugar.

"Assynnya!" There was a sound of greeting from the front. Once there was a guest in the morning, I turned off the stove and immediately ran towards the front door while trying to untie the apron on my back. Suddenly wrong pulling, making the rope tighter I can not let go.

"Wa'alaikum hail!" I screamed and kept going.

"Juice!"

I turned my head to the voice that called my name, stunned to see the One who was now standing still in the doorway with his soothing smile. My husband's. Honey, that smile isn't just mine.

"Father." He stepped forward while I was also one step back, and so on until he stopped because he saw the movement of my hand that signaled him to stop.

Suddenly the feeling in the throat is very painful. It was very painful to swallow my own saliva, like swallowing a large stone.

"Well, why don't you go home Yu?" Hilman asked me. His eyes were faint, his face was lethargic, dark circles were under his eyes. He looked at me expectantly.

"I'm waiting for you to go home Yu. Why don't you go home?" He asked again. The pain in my heart is so painful.

"Why am I going home? You don't care about me anymore!" I sizzled with a sharp look at him. Trying to hold the tightness in the chest.

"I care about you. I'm worried about you. Why did you leave that night?"

Is he stupid or what? Of course I left because I did not want a house with him, a woman who now has the status of a second wife for my husband.

"You don't care about me anymore, Mom. You don't think of me as your wife."

"Oh God, Yu. Why are you talking like that?" Mas Hilman looked at me with an adorable look.

"You told me that you work out of town, but what is it? You remarry! And yesterday you brought him to our house. Did you ask my opinion before you did all that? Don't you? So it's only natural that I feel like I'm not considered a wife by you!" I spoke in a blaring tone, but kept this tone so as not to shout and invite the attention of the neighbors.

"I said I'm sorry about you yu, none of this is my wish. This is the mother who wants to."

"Can't you resist mom's wishes? Or at least you can talk before you do that. What kind of wife am I? Not considered at all!" without feeling these tears come out through the cheeks. I tried to tell myself yesterday that I could be strong when I met him, but today when he was in front of me, I felt not strong.

"Sorry Ayu, I've talked to mom, but I keep pushing. Mom said ...."

"I know, Mas. I can't give you a child yet, but at least you talk to me first. I'm like a wife who isn't considered the same as you!" This time I screamed. It brings out emotions that these few days are lodged in the heart. Mas Hilman looked at me from where he stood. His eyes are now red.

"Sorry Mas Yu. I couldn't resist at that time, mother threatened to kill herself if Mas didn't obey what mother said. And I'm not sure if you'd agree I'd marry her again. Ii'm sorry. I was confused then," said Mas Hilman regretfully.

Living with him, for seven years, I know that what he said wasn't a lie. No. I saw the lie in his eyes, but I still couldn't accept what he and his family had done.

Suddenly Mas Hilman lowered his head, he lowered his body. Both knees are on the floor. I was surprised by what he did. I saw a single point of tear-spire coming down on his cheek.

I used to see him like this, when he proposed to me in front of our friends. However, this time I saw him insist on getting an apology from me.

"Well, I know it's not easy for us, but just so you know I haven't touched her until now because I'm still thinking about you. Honestly I can't be with her, I just want to please mom." His voice sounded quivering, he sobbed.

"Then why didn't you contact me at all while I was here? Why didn't you catch up with me that night?!" I asked with a scream. There were no messages or calls from him, making me think that Mas Hilman was having fun with his honey.

"My father was taken by my mother, and has not been returned. I can't contact you, because Hana doesn't have a phone either. And I can't catch up with you because Hana's afraid of being alone."

Hana and Hana. Again he mentioned that name.

"Then what about me, Mom? You'd rather accompany her than follow me here? Your outrageousness!" All of a sudden I was thinking how if that night when I came home here I had an accident on the road, I would definitely go home just a name. Did he not think of that either?

"sorry. Ii'm sorry. I'm not a good husband." My tears are now broken.

"I beg Yu. We go home." pinta. I shook my head, I didn't want a stranger in my house.

Remembering that, like forgetting all the things I thought about yesterday, to give in because of mom, I said to her out loud. "I want to part with you mas, I'm not strong for three lives."

I wiped these tears with the back of my hand. Mom's problem, I'll talk about it all right. Maybe you'll be able to accept that if I tell the truth. I thought I'd be strong, but I'm not.

"Bak Ayu!" Someone shouted from the outside, quickly seen his body stopping in the doorway. His chest up and down, he bent his hands together on his knees. Sinta looked at me and pointed outwards.

"Mbak Ayu, Budhe ... Fainted!" Sinta's voice was disjointed. I gasped in shock, as did Mas Hilman who was now rising from the floor. Immediately I approached Sinta.

"Where's mom?" I asked by shaking Sinta's shoulder.

"In the car." Point Sinta towards the car that is now stopped in front of the house. The car without a roof is commonly rented by pilgrims.

Some people have lowered the body of the unconscious mother. I immediately scatter towards mom. Panic and also fear of something happening to him, made me only cry to see the body of the mother who is now brought in by some people into the room. I followed them from behind.

I would like to thank the people who helped me. They then decided to go home. Now it is me, Sinta, Mas Hilman, and also Yu Tarni, Sinta's mother.

"Why did you faint, Yu?" Mas Hilman asked Yu Tarni. I was so shocked that I just stared at Mom.

"I don't know, but his face was pale. Want to be escorted home, your mother does not want Yu," replied Yu Tarni.

"We'll take him to the hospital. You should see a doctor." Mas Hilman said with concern. I can only nod in agreement to his proposal.

Me, Mas Hilman, and Yu Tarni brought mom to the car, while Sinta I asked to get a card for mother's treatment. The four of us took my mother to the hospital.

Mom was already in the room being examined by the doctor, while the four of us waited outside. I panicked and worried about my mother's condition, couldn't sit still and quietly, so now I'm walking back and forth at the door.

Mas Hilman stood leaning against the wall, Sinta and her mother sitting in the waiting chair. We all waited anxiously.

"Mak Ayu." Sinta called, I turned towards her. "Bak better open the apron." I stared down at my body, unconsciously still wearing an apron. Immediately I grabbed the rope that was behind the waist. It's hard to let go because I pulled it off just now. I walked over to Sinta and asked for her help.

Suddenly I remembered, did I turn off the stove?

Ah ... My mind is branching out now, I forgot whether the stove I turned off or not? All of this makes me forgetful. I hope I'm dead.

Before long the doctor came out of the mother's room, the four of us immediately rushed to the doctor and asked the condition of the mother.

"Mother Isti is okay, just exhausted. Maybe because I think too much. It is expected not to make Mother Isti stressed yes, can spur her heart performance and make Mother Isti faint." The doctor spoke so that we could sigh with relief.

"It's okay to see, please come in but don't be rowdy." Doctor warned. We nodded and thanked the doctor very much. The doctor left us, and we walked into the room.

My hand was pulled back to stop this move.

"Dye. Can't we be together anymore?" ask Mas Hilman to me. His eyes were blurred by tears.

I did not answer, pulled my hand violently and entered the room.