Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

5. Must Be Strong Because of Mom

Mother was still silent, there was no sound at all, but her thin hands just kept gently stroking my head, making the feeling inside this chest feel tight.

"Yu, I'm sorry, yes. Maybe you are difficult to have children because the mother also used to be a long time to get you. I didn't think that you would be the same, waiting for a long time like you." Suddenly the mother's voice sounded soft in the ear. My chest is getting sick of hearing that.

"It's not Mom's fault. Not yet the time, how else? We can't do anything, ma'am." I tried to calm my mother. It's not his fault if I'm like this. Whosoever knows, only God can reverse what He wills.

"But I'm sure, Yu you can definitely have a child. You have to be patient. Do not be discouraged to always try, especially your husband is also a loving person. I'm sure that with the love of a husband you and Hilman will soon be able to have children. Don't mind that much, Yu." Mom kept encouraging me. However, it felt like this chest was tight to hear that sentence. I want to feel like I said. It is precisely the affection of Mas Hilman must now be divided with other women because I am unable to give him offspring.

"I feel like mom can't wait to hold a grandchild. Maybe if there's a grandchild, I'll be excited again. Yes, although it feels like this body is sick, but I will smile happily to welcome the death of Mom."

I gasped to hear Mom say it so lightly. I lifted up my tired body and looked at my mother angrily.

"What did this mother say? Don't fuck around. If you talk about it, don't think about it!" I was angry at my mother's last words. Mother was too much to say such a thing in front of me.

"Mother's life will be long, don't talk weird. Mom won't die until Ayu has a child. Even until later Ayu's son grows up and gets married, I'll be able to see Mom's great-grandson."

Mom laughed out of her mouth. He rubbed his chest which often hurt. "It feels like Mom is sometimes not strong Yu, if this pain is relapsing. It feels so much better if Mom follows your Father only. You also will not be difficult for others anymore, if ...."

I hugged my mother tightly. It's so mean mom said that to me. "Tega Mommy wants to leave Ayu? After you left, I also want to leave Ayu alone, so?" ask me while crying tears.

"Well, not allowed. Anyway Mom can't leave before all that happens, I'll see big mother's granddaughter and get married! Huuu ...." I cried loudly, lamenting all the fear of the disease that was now lodged in the mother's body.

Mom stroked my back gently. "Man's money who knows, Yu. I could have...."

"Yes. The age of man no one knows. Don't talk like that, Dong! Ayu won't allow it anyway! Don't talk like that, Mom. Don't leave Ayu, huu ...."

Mother was silent, her hand rub on my back stopped.

"Mom shouldn't ask for grandiose. I should ask you to be happy for now. Forgive Mother Ya Yu, it has been weighing on your mind all this time." Mom apologized, made me even more scared.

The sound of a beating in the mother's chest is sometimes fast, sometimes also weakened. Signs something bad is going on there. I sometimes get scared if there doesn't sound like that anymore.

Oh God, what should I do? Do I have to deal with my pain and sadness? There's still so much I haven't given my mom. Don't take my mother away from me before I can give her more happiness.

I slept with my mother tonight. If I'm usually so happy to sleep in one bed with mom tonight I'm scared. What we discussed made me not want to be away from my mother. Afraid if suddenly ... O God, keep these bad thoughts away from me.

My mother was asleep, and I was still awake. I looked at the face of my dear mother and did not shine anymore, but she never forgot to keep smiling whether it was for me or for others.

I embraced a body that was no longer young. Only the mother I have, if the mother is not with whom am I? Mas Hilman now there is another, if it is still together it could be that the feeling of him will be different from the previous one ... And also my feelings for her will also not be the same as before.

The clutter I felt made me tired just lying down, these eyes still could not be closed, immediately I took the phone I stored under the pillow. I checked the green chat app. There were several chats that entered, but did not find a single chat from a man who now has the status of a man with two wives. Disappointed? Sure. I was very disappointed not to find any chat or call coming from him.

My mind suddenly stopped at an event, two adults, male and female, were on the same roof, let alone had legitimately become a married couple ... I hate my thoughts! As hard as this chest thinks about it, if usually in the novel will be a fun thing in the discussion of the bed this time I curse it.

Not wanting to get dissolved in this sense I continued to open the blue application where I poured out all my heart. Maybe here is my diary. A diary that many people can read.

I smiled at the many comments flooding my new story. The story of a man who went to marry again without his wife's knowledge, the difference if in the story I made him marry his former lover.

All said furious at the figure of the man, there was also a passion for the female figure to be strong, again I consider it support for myself. Either I sin or I don't upload stories of the pain I feel right now, but I just want to let out the unease I feel in my heart.

If I check my income, I'm surprised to see the amount of numbers there. Two months ago I checked still not this much. Not believing what I saw, I checked the statistical data of every novel I made, all increased after I released the latest novel about this polygamous story. Maybe this also happens because I aggressively upload it as an ad in other social media applications. Of course I use another name, not my own. I used a pen name on my medos.

I smiled seeing the more days my income was increasing, just think of this as my favorite drug for the painful events that happened to me. Behind something bad happening, there must still be something good that we can get.

Two hours I struggled with my writing, these eyes there was no drowsiness, instead I was getting excited to continue my imagination. Like a craze, my brain is also in ON mode, in sync with my hands and heart, making me more excited in getting the rupiah coffers.