Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

4. Mother Question

A cold wind hit my body, street dust, exhaust fumes, and horn honking accompanied me on the way to my mother's house. My body was cold, I forgot the jacket I used to wear when riding on a motorcycle.

Tears sometimes cover the view from the street ahead. Sometimes I stop at the side of the road to just wipe away the tears that had not stopped flowing. Trying to strengthen this heart to keep trying to be strong.

It felt bad inside this chest, after a whole week of working out of town, coming home just to surprise me. Three nights did not come home and today, he brought a foreign woman back to our house without asking my permission. Some more!

Whether or not I was right or not to leave the house, I obviously felt my mood was bad at the moment let alone seeing another woman wearing my kitchen,

The sound of a horn from behind shocked me and it immediately came to a realization, I got out of the middle of the road by turning on the penny lamp to the left, slowly I gave way for the car behind me to pass. My mind was screwed up, almost putting myself and other riders at risk.

For almost an hour, I was driving, not feeling any faster than usual. I don't know what speed this bike was running at.

The alley to the mother's house was already visible from a distance here. I paused for a moment. It feels confused also if suddenly I come, especially not as usual without informing mother first. I re-route my bike forward a little to the lane turn direction, remember if behind there is a favorite seller of marabak mother. I really like it when I come and bring him that sweet food.

Two packs of martabak now hang in front of my feet. It feels hot to be hit by the foot because I only wear a skirt along the calf that I was wearing when my mother-in-law came also a thin dress shirt that I forgot to change.

Ah ... Never mind, if you ask later I should be able to answer it well.

"Assyndus ...." I exclaimed as I entered the house that was still wide open.

A young girl was seen a few seconds later, flicking through the curtain that was the door barrier between the front room and the middle room.

"Waalaikum greetings ... Uh, Madam Ayu! Why didn't you come?" Sinta, the neighbor child I asked to accompany mother since I had been living with Mas Hilman, was shocked to see my sudden arrival. I just smiled as I handed the two packs of martabak to Sinta. He took the food and shouted.

"Buddy! Budhe, this is Ayu's mother coming!" As usual, this girl shouted to the mother who was out of nowhere.

"Budhe's in the room again, not feeling well, Ma'am. This afternoon I was taken to the doctor." Reported to me, I was surprised that no one told me at all. Immediately I took a quick step to go to mother's room.

"Kok Mama is not told?" I asked in an angry tone to look towards Sinta who followed my steps behind. The girl looks down her head.

"Sorry, Ma'am. Sinta had tried to phone Mbak Ayu, but Mbak Ayu did not pick up the phone." explained Sinta. I realized I was wrong too, there was indeed a mother number that made the call and I fell asleep at that time.

"Oh, sorry. Mbak overslept earlier." said I apologize to Sinta. I opened the door to my mother's room wide. It looks like mom is sitting and wearing her veil, mom's face looks pale. "Mother." I ran a little and ran into my mother's arms. Mother greeted me and rubbed my head gently.

I miss my mom so much, I haven't seen her in almost three weeks. It was after Mas Hilman's departure out of town, I'm going to leave in the afternoon here, here, but I paused because there was a photo that caused me to cancel coming here and choose to find answers to Mas Hilman's parents' house.

"Mommy's sick, huh? Why else, Mom?" I held my mother's hand that was getting thinner and thinner. Tears spilled again this time for a stronger reason. I pulled myself up and looked at Mom, her eyes looking sunken with many fine lines visible due to her skin losing contents. Mom just shook her head with a smile, a smile that always makes me calm and also always misses the figure of a life-giving woman for me.

"Mom's okay, just a little tired." Mom wiped the tears on my face. "It was Yu. You go home crying. You're a big boy, not a kid anymore." My mother laughed and mocked me.

"Budhe is recalcitrant, Ma'am. Sinta has forbidden Budhe to work planting vegetables and fruit behind the kok ya tetep ngeyel, so it was exhausted and cropped again. Good thing Sinta same father quickly take Budhe to the doctor earlier, otherwise Budhe has been hospitalized." Sinta said in an annoyed tone to me, his thick Javanese accent sounded funny in this ear.

"What the hell is Sin? Budhe was just sitting on a plastic stool, who was here and there you too." Mom won't budge.

"Yes, Budhe is just sitting on a plastic bench, but it is hot in the hot sun, do not want to go into the house. Mbok yo when it's a sweet nap, Budhe. Denger what the doctor said last afternoon Budhe, a lot of rest." Sinta is increasingly upset by the attitude of the mother who does not want to obey him. Two people in this generation are magical. In fact, I am the only one whose son cannot oppose or mendumel to a mother like Sinta.

"Halaaah .. You don't know Sin, if Budhe is just sick and doesn't do anything. Try if you are old like Budhe and there are also no activities, you will certainly be bored just staying at home. Your mother is delicious, Masmu already have children can take care of grandchildren at home."

Deg.

The words of the mother who just touched my deepest feelings. How that made my mother-in-law marry Mas Hilman to a young girl.

"Mom wants to watch tv. There you make a drink for your mother." mother told Sinta who was immediately executed by the girl.

"You're the same Hilman? How can you tell Mom?" mother asked me, my eyes twirled around like they were looking for something. I got stuck in my throat. Confused what to say to mom.

"No, Ma. Ayu came alone. Ayu bought Martabak Bang Mustache's mother. Mommy want to not? Sin, please martabak brought it here, yeah. Tonight if you want to sleep at home is okay, bring it one martabak for your father and mother. Ma'am will stay here!" I screamed at Sinta who then could be heard answering with a shout also from back there.

"So quiet, Mom. So Ayu didn't wait long." I grimaced as much as I could to hide my sadness from my mother.

Before long Sinta came with a tray in her hand, two glasses of warm tea and a plate of hot martabak now sitting on the wooden table in front of us.

"Thank you, Sin. That's the one pack you take home, yeah." I repeated my words earlier. Sinta nodded while saying thank you and also saying goodbye to go home.

Mother replaced the show on tv with her favorite soap opera.

"Kok Hilman didn't come? Is Hilman out of town? It's been a long time since I've come here." Mother without turning her head towards me, still her gaze towards the tv which is still showing ads. His thin hands took one piece of martabak from a plate and blew it and put it in his mouth.

"Yes, Mom. Mas Hilman hasn't come home from out of town. Ayu got tired of also staying home so come here." A lie I made to cover my situation.

"Oh ..." We watched tv together. Mother who usually talks a lot while watching is now just silent while enjoying the food I bring. I'm a little happy that you want to eat, since the pain is indeed reduced mother's appetite a lot.

"You've been here all night, no problem with your husband, right, Yu?" mom's question got me jerked. Do you know what happened to me?

She turned her head to me, looked at me with her beautiful eyes, looking tired in the look of her face which was no longer young.

"No, Mom. No problem with Mas Hilman." I turned my gaze toward the food in front of us and ate it quickly, trying to neutralize and soothe the heartbeat that was now beating. I just want to cry and lie like this to my mom.

"Are you and Hilman okay?" ask mom to urge me. I shook my head quickly making the food in my mouth push down my throat, painful and making my breath tight. I coughed and immediately grabbed the warm tea that Sinta had made.

Ah ... very relieved to taste, after the stuck food is now sliding down.

I looked at my mother, and she still looked at me. Suddenly remembered the events in the past that made mother drop because of hearing my complaints. I used to tell my mother about someone else who said that I might be barren, because at the age of the fifth marriage I had not yet conceived. Especially now, if I say that Mas Hilman is remarried, what will happen then to mother? I'm afraid something happened to Mom like it used to. Only the mother I have now.

"Well it's okay, Mom. Really deh. Don't worry, mother." I'm laying this on mom's lap. It feels so warm. It's been a long time since I've done this to my mother, never to indulge in motherhood after I married Mas Hilman. Like losing guidelines and role models and places to lean.

"If you have a problem you tell the mother, Lah Yu. Who knows you can help find a solution." said Mother softly. I just want to hear this mother's words.

"No, Mom. There's nothing. Ayu's fine."

I heard a breath coming from under my nose.

"Mom, don't ignore your health, yes." I said with a soft speech.

"You also ignore your health, Yu. You're not wearing a jacket, are you?" ask Mother. I just hugged my mother's hand that rubbed my head gently.

"Wear it, Mom. It's in the motorcycle seat." I lied again.

"Oh ..."

O Allah. I have sinned because I lied to my mother.

Forgive Ayu, Mom.