Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

110. Home With Empty Hands

"Alhamdulillah. Then how is Ayu? About our offer the other day? Did Mbak Ayu accept the ta'aruf we proposed?" ask the man directly, no more pleasantries.

"Did Mba Ayu have thought and performed the night prayer to ask for guidance from Gusti Allah?" ask again. Everyone who was there stared at me. I was wrong with her behavior.

Several times I did night prayers, but did not get any clues, not even a dream.

"If it's about that, I've done it" I said. Ummi and Kyai smiled at me, as well as Ustadz Zain who looked more handsome while smiling.

"But I'm sorry. Kyai, Ummi, Ma'am, Mas, and Ustadz. I apologize for not getting any leads with this ta'aruf after all, I still want to be alone after what happened to myself. All the problems that have happened in my life, I want to calm my heart" I told them. The smile that was on his back suddenly disappeared from the faces of all those who were there. I feel the atmosphere that was warm is now cold and awkward.

"It must be because Mbak Ayu has not gotten the vibration. Maybe Ma'am Ayu should try again to pray the night, to be given instructions, or because Mbak Ayu is now no longer coming to the assembly taklim." Kyai's eldest son persisted.

I was a little surprised by what he said. This is like forcing the will rather than asking about the offer.

"Mbak Ayu may not have known my sister, Zain. Try if Mbak Ayu is married to Zain, maybe Mbak Ayu will have a sense with him, and will not hesitate again with the sincerity of Zain," he said. Mom and I looked at each other, while the other four people were silent without a sound looking at me.

"Sorry, Mas. Isn't this the name's imposition?" ask the guy. He gasped at my words. Subjecting his head gazed towards the floor, while Kyai looked at me with a look that.

"Sorry, Madam Ayu if my son's words are wrong. Hasan doesn't mean that. Hasan just wants to help Zain." Ummi said he was defending his son. One of his wives, dressed in black, stroked the arm of a man called Ummi by the name of Hasan.

"Yes, Ms. Ayu. Forgive my husband's words. We didn't all come here to force Ayu. It's just that we want to help our youngest sister to share her faith with the woman she likes" said the veiled woman in a soft voice. But I don't want to be close to anyone right now.

"But, from Mas Hasan's words it was a coercion, Mas Hasan has not heard my other explanations but has forced me to marry Ustadz Zain" I said firmly.

"I'm sorry" he said with a red face. "I don't mean it like that. I'm just trying to help Zain" he said,

The atmosphere was getting bad, it felt like I wanted to get out of here, but it was also bad because they were great guests.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Yai, Ms. Nyai, Mas, Mbak, and Ustadz. Ayu was already done with her iddah period, but it also did not feel good if directly ta'aruf with a man. Before this, Ayu had become a spectacle of society with the predicate that he bears now. So what will Ayu get in the future if she gets married this soon? I think Ayu also deserves to have peace first, to find calm. After all, feelings cannot be forced. Mas, Ustadz," Mother told the two young men.

"I really want Ma'am Ayu to be my wife, Mom. Is there no chance we can be together? For me to fight?" ask the man who just kept quiet. His eyes looked at me, but a second later he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Ustad. I talked to Ayu about this. The possibility of the yai family all coming here has also been talked about before, but yes want how else if Ayu does not want to live in a household. Please understand Ayu's condition that may still be traumatized by the failure of her previous marriage—,"

"I promise I will not make Mbak Ayu sad like the events before. I will try to play the role of husband well. It will not make Mbak Ayu sad let alone cry," said the man in a solemn tone, cutting off Mother's speech.

A little upset as well, did they not understand about the meaning of rejection?

"I know. I have no problem with that. We can raise a child from another brother. Even without taking children from others in pesantren many children for us to raise into our foster children."

Duh, geez, just this time I found another persistent man other than Doctor Hero.

"Is that not enough to prove that I am not worthy of Ayu?" ask the man.

"No, it's not like that. But I don't want to be in touch with anyone right now. I just wanted to calm down, that's all. I'm sorry" I said to everyone there.

Kyai looked at me sharply, her face sour, while Ummi was looking at her youngest child with a look of pity.

"Can't Mbak Ayu—,"

"That's it, San." Kyai cuts off the speech of her oldest son. "If Mbak Ayu no longer want how else? Not Zain's soul mate" said the half-old man. All eyes looked at this elder in front of us with an incredulous look. Even Ummi glared at her husband, as if he did not accept the man's words.

"In Islam, marriage is good. A person who marries a widow is good, but it is not good to force someone. The fall will have a law of makruh" Kyai said firmly.

Kyai's words just weren't wrong, I guess. But this feeling in my heart pinched my heart a little from his words.

Kyai and her family are sad with their faces. Seen the face of Kyai's eldest son who was sour, Ummi who was disappointed, and Ustadz Zain who did not want to look at me at all. His breathing sounded a little rough in my ears.

"Sorry, Ustadz" I said as they almost got into the car. Ummi sat in the back while Kyai was already sitting in the driver's side seat. Ustadz Zain stopped stepping after closing the car door for Ummi. Three other people - Mas Hasan and his two wives - had entered in another car.

"What's been sending stuff to my house all this time is Ustadz?" ask her. He just kept quiet, glancing at me.

"I just want to give it as my sincerity with Mbak Ayu" he said.

"I'm sorry, but Ustadz doesn't have to do that, because honestly I don't really like the gift of someone who is nobody to me. It's burdensome for me" I said in a stern tone.

"I'll give it back to Ustadz."

"No need, just think of it as a memento from me. If one day Mbak Ayu is my soul mate, then Mbak Ayu does not need to return all that, because it will return to Mbak Ayu as well."

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Maafin Othor just updated again. Family health is not good, from starting yourself, bocil and husband. Not to mention real work. 🙏🤧