Sharing Love: My Husband Married Without My Permission

9. The Replaceable Position

"Well, Ayu's mother is already there to accompany. You don't have to stay there for three days, do you? Or it could be you, Ayu who stayed there. Hilman has a new wife. Give him a chance to be close to his second wife. Let him have children quickly. Don't just have Hilman. Remember Yu that now you three are"

Mother said out loud, also with a cynical tone directed towards me. Mom's look didn't like me. In stark contrast to what used to be very dear to me, now it seems like it no longer exists after the presence of the woman.

Huh... I even refused to say his name. In this case I don't know who's wrong, but still I don't like the name of the third person. Especially name? The actor?

I may be evil to say he was a actor, either at first he was willing or forced to marry a man who had married, he said, but I can't just confess their marriage even if they're legal.

"You should know dong, Yu. Mom and dad are old. We already want to have a grandson from Hilman. Mother please Yu. Don't block them, don't interrupt their time, don't you envy her, Yu. If you can give a child to Hilman, that's great. Hilman's son isn't just one!"

It's like hearing lightning during the day when you hear me say that. 'If indeed you can give a child to Hilman.' it feels very painful to hear it. If. Like I couldn't give it to Mas Hilman. Okay, I can't give it to you right now, but who knows?

"Mom, Ayu wouldn't do that Mom. Ayu has agreed to accept Hana along with us. Please don't push Ayu and say something that hurts her, Mom. All this made him sad and hurt. Please don't add more burden Ayu." Mas Hilman defended me in front of mom. Honestly though I am still angry with Mas Hilman, but in martial arts like this I am happy.

I looked at the face of my mother who still looked cynical.

"Mother did not urge Ayu. I just want to ask for her understanding! That's just Hilman, nothing more. If Ayu has not been able to give offspring to you at least she can try sincerely to give a chance to Hana!"

"Sorry before Mom. Mother said Ayu should sincerely accept Mas Hilman's marriage, but I never thought the marriage of husband with his second wife should you permission from the first wife? With ease mother told Mas Hlman to torture me." I said cut off mother's speech. Mom glared at me, but I didn't care and I wasn't afraid of her either.

"Who will be sincere if he is combined. What if this happens to Mom?" I asked by looking at him directly.

"I'm sorry that Ayu is disrespectful to Mom, we're fellow women, Mom. I should have understood Ayu's feelings."

"It's because of the woman's mother. If you think, seven years Yu. Seven years you've been married, you haven't had children. Think of! Think of others, think of your husband. Don't you think about having children ...?"

"Ju think about it, Mom. Ayu also wants to have children. But that does not mean to give Mas Hilman to be with other women. You are the colot-minded, who want to have offspring with the same blood. Ayu certainly can, do that in another way. Can you fish with other kids? You don't have to marry Mas Hilman with another woman!" my tukas. The feeling inside the chest now rumbled violently. These eyes are hot, but I try to be strong in the presence of all.

"It's hard to talk to you Yu. You don't understand our wishes. You don't know what it's like to be a parent. If someone else's child is difficult, what if he wants to return what if his parents take him back along with them. You don't think how his heart aches when you're a pity, unfortunately, the boy they took back? It is different if you have your own child, at least if not your flesh and blood, but he is the son of Hilman! You have the same right to love that child!" Mom looked at me, her voice shaking and her hands clenched above her knees.

Love my mad daughter. Just think about it, their marriage I'm still trying to be sincere and now mom says I love my mad daughter. I don't know if I can or not.

"It's hard to talk to you. You won't understand how we feel!" said mother with a annoyed tone. She stood up and left the three of us.

Mas Hilman, Mas Dirga, and also I are now just silent in this room. We were silent with our thoughts. Indeed what the mother said is true, if the adopted child may one day return to his family, but is it wrong? Who knows what others say will be the bait for us. I believe that I can conceive and give offspring to Mas Hilman.

Suddenly, Dirga stood up. One hand was put in a pants pocket.

"What Mom said is true, you better think again how ahead. After all this had happened, it was impossible to return Hana to her family. Hilman, Ayu, Mas hope you can sincerely accept Mother's decision." he said, then Mas Dirga left us.

I bow my head staring at the hands on my knees. My hands clenched. Everything that mom said hurt this heart.

"Bring him away Mas. I really want a granddaughter of yours, right? I've tried to be sincere, I don't want a house with him!" I said then I got up and stood up leaving Mas Hilman.

I'm lyrically the mother who is now in the kitchen with her. Talking and laughing very cheerfully, as if nothing had happened before.

...***...

Just like I wanted. Mas Hilman talks to Hana to find her a rented house. Not that I have the heart, but this is better than me continuing to be hurt and not shy. It's been told, the woman is here too.

The three of us sat in the living room, the woman just sat down while bowing her head, not daring to look at me or Mas Hilman. His hands were spread out over his knees.

"But I'm afraid. I'm afraid to stay alone. I'm not ordinary" he said as Mas Hilman delivered what we had talked about last night.

"You should want to. I'm sorry, whatever you think of me, but I don't want to live together" said I, who made her bite her lip. This petite girl was sitting restlessly, unable to calm down in her place.

"Hana, please respect Ayu's wishes. He sacrificed a lot for our marriage. I beg you to understand." said Mas Hilman once again his tone softly speaking to him made me become resentful.

"But I don't dare to stay alone. I'm scared, Ma'am. Can't I stay here? Hana is not pa-pa. Hana would like to help Ma'am Ayu beberes home!" Hana said with a clear and sad face, almost crying.

Mas Hilman stared at me, I threw a look in the other direction.

"It's not a matter of helping me, I can take care of the house myself. No need for help. It's just that you know, this marriage is impromptu and there is also no permission from me. You should understand, living together will not be easy. Our decision is already unanimous, if you do not want to live alone, please just choose to go home to your parents, or to the house of in-laws." I said firmly, I pointed it at the two of them.

Hana was speechless at my decision, she looked towards Mas Hilman, but Mas Hilman just lowered his head to avoid the woman's pleading gaze.

I stood up, for me this discussion is over. Nothing else should be discussed, or asked for approval.

...***...

A week has passed. Mas Hilman hasn't got a rented house for him yet. It feels so bad to be in a house with another woman. I admit, more homework he's been doing all this time. Even the kitchen took over. Every morning breakfast is available, coffee and supplies for Mas Hilman was he who prepared. Usually every morning I do that, but now he's the one who takes over.

Not that I like. Nah! My role as a wife is no longer there for my husband.

I just got out of the room while curling my half wet hair. Walking towards the kitchen, there the young lady was cooking. Her body nimble moved there to here, she also focused on her cooking so as not to turn her head as I lit the water dispenser and took coffee from the cupboard hanging on the kitchen wall.

"You want to make coffee for Mas Hilman, huh, Ma'am?" He asked with a cheerful tone.

"Heemmmm..." That's my only answer, to be honest I'm still lazy to get along with him.

"Bak if you make delicious coffee boiled water, Ma'am. The water from the dispenser is less hot" he said.

"Say my mother, boiled water will be hotter and make the coffee more palatable." she spoke again.

"My husband never protested with what I made." I just answered in a tight tone. This time he was silent, not answering. It looks lethargic when I say that.

While waiting for the water from the hot dispenser, I returned to the room. Mas Hilman still sleeps in the blanket. I approached him and shook his shoulder. He just squirmed a little, opened his eyes and smiled looking at me.

"I'm still sleepy." he lamented spoiledly.

"awake. It's late in the day." I warned him. He only smiled wryly as he got up to sit down and then pulled over his blanket and went towards the bathroom.

I made a messy bed because of what we did last night. The first time after he got married again.

Mas Hilman came out of the bathroom and then put on his clothes that I had prepared. I helped him put on a tie and a suit. He looks so handsome, never changes. It's just that his face looks more slender now.

We came out of the room together, now Mas Hilman was sitting in his chair. A glass of hot coffee is available on the dining table.

"Thank you, Hana." Mas Hilman said with a smile to him. He smiled back, but then looked down when he saw me looking at him.

"Anu Ma'am, sorry. Hana presumptuous, the water was hot, and Mbak had not come out of the room, wanted to be called but Hana was not good. So Hana just make it up." she said fearfully.

Mas Hilman stared at me. "it was Yu. You or him make coffee." Mas Hilman said, but he did not know what I felt in this heart. Not only the status, but the obligation to as a wife has also been taken away.

Mas Hilman was about to leave for the office, as he used to say goodbye to me by peeping and kissing my cheek before getting into the car.

"Mas departs yes, you be careful at home." said the message. I nodded my head while smiling. Mas Hilman opened the car door.

"Mas!" there was a screaming sound from inside the house, before long came out with the provisions in his hands.

"Because you missed, my dear." He approached quickly towards Mas Hilman and handed over the supplies that had been made.

"Thank you" said Mas Hilman.

"Be careful, my mother." Hana said as she grabbed Mas Hilman's hand and kissed the back of his hand. Mas Hilman was fixated on what the woman was doing. It's perfectly fine, he's also his wife, but I still don't want to see anything like that. It feels very painful in front of our eyes husband kissed his hand by a woman other than us.

"Mas Hilman, what time will he be home? What as usual? What do you want me to cook? I'll cook what I ask." Hana asked in a spoiled tone.

"No need, I eat only potluck, no need for you to prepare anything. Don't bother."

"I don't bother just cooking, who knows Mas Hilman wants me to cook something." bargained again, I just keep quiet through his persistent behavior.

"No need." Mas Hilman refused to Hana, Mas Hilman glanced at me with an uneasy look.

"Yes already. I'm leaving first." Mas Hilman got into the car and left after waving his hand. Not only did I this time wave to him as he was about to go to work, but someone else was also doing that this time.

"I went in first, Ma'am, the kitchen wasn't finished yet." Hana then walked into the house, while I waited until Mas Hilman's car went away.

"Mba Ayu's. Here you are!" someone's voice was heard as I was about to step foot into the house. He waved his hand at me.

I approached the direction of the origin of the sound, the next door neighbor who was sweeping his yard is now attached to a lizard in the fence of the house that limits our territory.

"Sir, who was that? How do you often see them at home? And then again kiss Mas Hilman's hand?" He asked with a curious face.

"The second wife is Mas Hilman." I answered honestly. He looked surprised to hear my testimony.

"Yes ma'am, I want to go inside." I said goodbye and left him who looks like he still wants to ask a lot.

It hurts when I say that. That I'm not the only wife of Mas Hilman.

The housework is done, there's nothing I can do anymore because he's done it all.

I just go inside the room, better continue my secret work. With Mas Hilman's marriage to Hana, I must have something to hold me in front of him. The future who knows, I have to have my own savings. I won't tell anyone about my new job.

Almost noon, I came out of the room. There was another sound in the living room. They sounded cheerfully chatting and also laughing.

Mom and Hannah were sitting on the sofa together. Mother glanced at me cynically, as I approached her to kiss the back of her hand.

"When did Mom come?" I try to be friendly.

"So from now on, you work only in the room, just came out. Look at Hana doing the housework. You do not want to be alone dong Yu, there is no Hana so do not want to clean the house!" mother said with a dislike look at me. Uh, what does this mean?

"It's Hana herself who wants to ma'am. Instead of just being silent, the baby is the boss of Mom," said Hana, whether she was defending herself or something. But my mother's gaze on me did not turn cynical.

"You can't be cuteness. Later if you are tired how do you want to quickly have children with Hilman? You have to take care of your health." said the mother while stroking the back of her hand. The thing that my mother used to do to me, now I leave it to her. It feels so bad in this heart. My position has been replaced in my mother's heart.

"You heard Ayu. Hannah must not be tired, you must help her, and do not give all the work to her. How he's gonna have a kid if he's sapped."

"Let's not give all the work to her Mom, nor did she tell him to do it all. This is his will. And he did it before Ayu got hold of it, so what could Ayu do? Doing what's been done?" ask my mother not to accept it.

"Yes, can it be before Hana who holds you first wakes up early and does everything? From tomorrow you have to do everything yourself, do not give hard work to hana. I want Hana and Hilman to have a child soon. I've had enough patience waiting for your son!" mother's words were so raining down in this heart.