Home For My Soul

9|Customing The Future

“No,” mama Amaryllis replied firmly.

During these few months, he was being more gentle with me. It was much different from him who was so rude and did not care if I lived or died. But I didn't expect him to say that in response to the news of my graduation. The lontong seller's mother just cheered happily with me.

“Why not, Ma? I graduated, then why did I waste this opportunity?” my protest.

“I told you, no money to finance your college.” He reminded me of that again. “My cake and bread are good, but I don't know until when things will be this good. So, I can't give you my money.”

“If the problem is that,” I put a savings book in front of her and her husband, “I have enough money to pay for my tuition for two semesters. The rest I will try through scholarships and part-time work as I do here.”

They rounded the eyes of disbelief to see the numbers on the page of the savings book. Mama Amaryllis used her index finger to calculate how many zeros there were in her balance. I smiled seeing him.

“How can you collect this much money in a short time?” ask the woman.

“Fourteen months is not a short time, Ma,” my error. “So, I said goodbye. I beg you Papa and Mama to pray for me while away from home. I try to go home if I have money to buy a plane ticket. Or you can come there visit me.”

“No.” Mama Amarilis put the book in front of me again. “Who will help my cake and bread business if not you? I could be broke and have no money to pay anyone anymore. Then who helped me make the cake?”

“Mama will not go bankrupt. Who will endure fasting for too long not enjoying a good cake made by Mama?” I was half teasing him. “I promise will help promotion as well if I already have enough money to buy laptop.”

The cake business is very good. People not only buy cakes served in his small store, but also love to order cakes and buns from him for small and large events. If things continue like this, I'm sure he can buy a bigger store and hire more people.

As long as he is diligent in promoting through the social media of his store, then more and more customers will be. Cakes are a fairly stable endeavor, as people like to serve them at an event at home, office, or a celebration. He won't go bankrupt, as long as his son doesn't steal his money.

“Iya, Mother. Let Riris go. Wouldn't we also be proud to have a very smart and diligent daughter like her? If he is confident in his choice, then as a parent, we should support him.” Papa touched Mama's hand on the table.

“Thank you, Pa,” I'm happy.

As soon as I heard the word yes from Amarilis, I immediately checked the price of airline tickets via mobile phone. Then look for information about cheap rental rooms that are not far from the campus location. Unfortunately, the Amaryllis family had no acquaintance there who could help.

Then I remembered two people I knew. Also true! What the hell am I thinking? Amaryllis has no acquaintance, but I have. His person was even very close to me, so the information he gave must be correct. They won't play me.

“What's up?” ask Brother Jericho, my second brother. He looked around us worried. “We shouldn't have met like this.”

“I've suggested we talk about this via mobile, Brother who forced to meet,” reply me, do not want to lose.

“Ya, already. Here's the information you need.” He gave me an envelope. “Kak Nolan to the point of wonder I asked him this. Because of you, I was forced to help with the script on this year's Christmas holiday.” I laughed hearing that.

“Thank you very much, Brother.” I touched his hand. “Don't forget Sister's appointment to me.”

“You're crazy, do you know that? You managed to raise your own money for college. Note this. You'll regret delaying one year of college for self-esteem,”.

“Kak, I can study hard to graduate in just three and a half years. So, what do I need to regret?” my challenge. I laughed when he closed his eyes. The time he didn't know things were that simple? Being late for college is no problem. Just speed up his graduation.

The first thing I did was book a plane ticket. I went to the nearest ATM to make the payment. But while checking the balance, I lost so much money. Bizarrely. I'm sure when I showed this book to Amaryllis' parents, the number was still intact.

Damnit. I need that money for college. After painstakingly collecting it for fourteen months it just disappeared. I paid for the ticket first, then headed to the bank to report the matter.

“According to the report on our system, Adik made a transaction through mobile banking.” The woman from the bank's customer service section explains while looking at the computer screen.

“On any date, Brother?” ask me to prepare my notes. He mentioned the date and time that I immediately wrote in the book. “Good. Thank you very much for the help.”

I came out of the bank and sat on the empty bench on the porch. It's obvious I'm not the one doing this. I bought a cell phone to help ease communication with Amarylis' parents later. I just found out that consumer service employees are activating the service.

Sure enough, I found a lot of new things that he bought on his desk. He did not even bother to hide the items he paid for with the stolen money. I immediately brought the video game, the watch, and the expensive shoes that he bought into the store.No matter the price that fell, I still received the money. I need every student to go to college.

Coincidentally being outside, I stopped by to buy a cheap suitcase. I'm gonna need it to get my stuff out of town. I refrained from buying official clothes. Later, I bought it at a cheap market in Jakarta.

“Aduh!” hercules complained as I entered his room and sat directly on his body.

“You didn't hear what I said when I showed my savings to Papa and Mama?” I said, not paying attention to the cry of his pain.

“You've taken all that stuff. What else do you want!?” He pushed my body to shift from above his body.

“What more do I want? Heh!” I hit his head. “Apologies, stupid! You stole my money. Do you think I won't win if I report your actions to the police?”

“A little sister took her brother's money it's not a steal!” his objection.

“So what's his name if not steal!?” I hit him in the head again. “That money is for my college tuition, not for fun!”

“Wake, Fat! I can die if it's kept!” He rebelled with all his might.

“Let's die. Let one less thief from this world.” He opened his mouth wide which I was sure was intending to call his mother. “You dare to call Mama, then I will not forgive. I must have reported your actions to the police!”

He closed his lips and did not dare to speak anymore. I waited patiently. “OK. I'm sorry. I was wrong to have used the money without your permission.”

“Kakak,” I said seriously.

“What? You dream that you wish I would call you with that word.” He tried to push my body away from his body. I'm unmoving. “OK. Sister.”

“Good. Remember, I will not remain silent again to see your insolent behavior. I forgive you, but if I hear Papa or Mama lost their money ...” I clenched my hand. “You will deal with me.”

The fourteen months he pranked also insulted me and always laughed in satisfaction, undaunted by me, his face turning pale for the first time. Goody. It turned out that he could also be afraid of his brother. From today on, I will show you who is more powerful among us.

“Why are you so different? You're not like the Riris I know,” he murmured.

“This is called being an adult. I will live in another city alone. If I stay weak and let people trample on me, then I will be a doormat forever.”

Right people say. A family is a person who cannot be lied to. They know who we really are. We can play in front of others, but not in front of family. Could it be that Amaryllis' mother knew that I was not her daughter? Is that why he was cynical to me?

It's time I decided everything. Mama Amarilis is my real parent now. My biological mother only knew me as her daughter's killer. Our relationship is no longer possible for me to fix. If I'm reckless, I can be labeled crazy. Brother Jericho accepted my situation, not necessarily Brother Nolan also my parents can understand.

The name on the ID card and the plane ticket, as well as the diploma in my backpack, is not Katelia Wulan, but Amarilis Josepha. For everyone, Katelya is gone forever. It is also time for me to give up that identity. My chest is tight making that decision.

This is not my body, Amaryllis is not my name, this family is also not the person I have been with since I was a child, but I have to let go of my true self and accept my new identity. Could this be God's punishment for all my messiness?

“Can I log in?” asked Amarylis from behind the door.

“Just enter, Ma,” I said after successfully calming my emotions.

The door opened and the woman walked in with a flat face. A completely different attitude to when he picked me up at the hospital that day. Could she have known that I was not her daughter? But I didn't dare to ask, I wasn't prepared for his response.

“There are important things I need to tell you.” He came closer and sat down on the edge of my bed. “Can I say something as a mother?”