Home For My Soul

3|New Identity

“Sayang?” Someone knelt near me. “Oh, God, thank you.” The woman hugged my body, then rubbed my head. “Thank God, you're fine.”

“Is anyone sick, Son?” ask a man kneeling on my right side. “Why are you sitting on this cold floor? Come on, we're sitting on the bench.”

I complied as they raised my arms and took me to a nearby chair. Those who accuse me as they please have gone to see my body. Only Theo was still near me, but did not say anything after I refused to sit on the chair.

My heart broke to pieces hearing everyone accuse me of killing myself. But it was nothing compared to the loss of my spirit, because it had to be in this body for a lifetime. He would definitely die young because he never took care of his health. Missing are all the future plans I've put together so well.

“Why is he like this? Did he lose his hearing after falling into the lake?” ask the woman to Theo. “Why is he silent?”

“Maybe being shaken, Auntie. Everyone had scolded her for causing Katelia to die,” Theo replied softly.

“People are brash! My daughter is very good, she won't be able to hurt anyone.” The woman growled in annoyance. He then looked and stroked my cheek. “Come, let's go home. Your friend has taken the medicine, you rest at home must also be cured.”

The woman and I drove home in a taxi, while her husband rode their old motorcycle. No other place to live, I had to obey. When I saw their little house, I could only grimace in silence. At least, this is better than sleeping on the road.

What made me last that long in the house was the smell of cake. The same fragrance as the cake that Amarilis brought to school. He left the cake to the cafeteria and was always bought by students and teachers. The cake that I bought several times just to be trampled in front of him.

“Rest. I'll make chicken soup for you.” The woman covered my body, then walked out of the room. I could only stare at the ceiling.

“Nak.” The door of the room opened and the man entered with his index finger in front of his lips. “This is your favorite food. Don't let your mama know. Eat.”

I saw a packet of food he was carrying. He helped me sit down, then gave me a plastic box. I opened it and there was some fried chicken in it. Is this Amaryllis' favorite food? He deserves to be fat like this.

But I couldn't pick a meal, let alone realize that I hadn't eaten anything since falling into the lake. I immediately devoured all those chickens. No matter how much I eat, I don't stop until the box contains only the bones.

“Good. Come on, back to lying down. Your mama will be here soon.” He turned on the mosquito repellent to remove the aroma of fried chicken earlier.

I just closed my eyes when the door opened and someone came in. What else would Amaryllis' father give me? When I opened my eyes, I saw a young man.

He put his face in front of his lips. “I brought Brother's favorite food.” Food again? She slipped something under my blanket. “Don't eat now. Later after eating soup made by Mama.” He looked to the left right, then out of the room.

The woman came carrying a tray. He fed me a plate of rice and a bowl of chicken soup. The taste of the cooking is good, although not as good as my cooking at home. I was surprised my body was able to finish it after eating a box of fried chicken.

“Well, rest. If you need anything, call me, yes.” She caressed my cheek with love.

Tears threaten to come out of my eyes. Feeling her love, I miss Mama. Even though I was in Amaryllis' body, her family was not my family. What do I need to do to get back to my family?

Even though people pushed my body and refused me to attend my own body funeral, I did not give up. I saw the burial of my body which Amaryllis had inhabited from afar. Papa, Mama, and my two sisters cried slicing my heart.

“You satisfied now?” Without me noticing, Chika was standing by my side. He pushed my body hard, but I flinched. “Are you satisfied to have killed Katelia?”

“I didn't kill him, Chika,” I said, tired of all those mistargeted charges.

“You didn't kill him??” Rahma pushed from my right. “Heh, we all saw you pull Kat's hand until she drowned in the lake. So, you killed him!” He stabbed the top of my right chest with his index finger.

“I didn't—” The back of my knee was kicked so I fell on top of both my knees. The pain is incredible. Not yet able to understand what was going on, both of my hands were held and I was forced to lie on my back. My legs hurt because they're still bent.

“Criminals! Killer!” Chika sat on top of my stomach and slapped both my cheeks violently in turn. “Dead you! Die and go to hell! There's a place for killers!!”

This weak body was only a large size. I was so powerless that I couldn't pull both my hands from Rahma and Nisa's firm grip. If my face is hit continuously, this ugly face can be further destroyed. Not to mention that the pain is new to me. I have never felt my physique hurt this great for the umpteenth time.

“Hey, have you guys gone crazy??” Chika was forcefully lifted from above my body. “Let him go! You've hurt him enough! Katelia died not her fault!”

Theo helped me again. The three girls looked at me with sharp eyes. My cheeks throbbed feeling the slap that was bursting just now. Why don't people ever give me a chance to talk? I repeatedly tried to tell everyone I was Katelia.

“You'd better repent before you catch up with Katelia. He died from frequently hurting Amarylis.” That phrase stabbed my heart deeply.

That's reason? I survived and lived in the body of Amarilis because of my ignorance? So, I will live forever in this fat, ugly, slow body? Oh, geez. My future is ruined. I don't want all the dreams and plans I've put together to fall apart like this.

Wait for. My future is not broken. If this had been my way of life, then I would not be fat, poor, and stupid to death. I will not let this curse win. I am the one who decides my fate. I have a family that loves me, that's enough. There must be a way to change my fate.

“Wake up, lazy boy!” I felt a big blow on my head. “Quick bring the cake to the canteen! We won't be able to eat until the weekend if you just sleep!”

“Public school, Ma. Why do I bring cookies to the cafeteria?” I rubbed my head. The last few days this woman has been very nice. Why was he suddenly being rude to me?

“Only third class is off. Your class sisters, ‘kan, stay in. Quick, go!” He pulled me all his strength to get out of bed. Basic Amaryllis is weak, I lost strongly to her mother.

I rode the bike carrying the cake in a large container in the front basket. The security guard greeted me kindly. I just smiled as I could. After giving all those cookies and receiving money from the canteen guard mother, I hurried away.

Seeing that there was an announcement requiring employees at a mini-service, I immediately stopped, and entered it. Instead of getting good news, they immediately refused because my body was fat. Damnit. Why do you have to be slim if you only lift things? Stupid self-service!

“Dik, you'd better go glassy. Tokoku is small, but I will not be able to attract customers if my employees are fat and ugly like this,” taunted the next store owner. “Sana go! I could not get sustenance today because of your arrival.” He pushed my body violently.

If a low job just needs a slim body and a beautiful face, when can I get money? It is impossible to change this body in an instant. College is not cheap. Because of that, I knew Amarylis was only studying until SMU. Her mother is fierce, so I won't be able to ask her for money. What can SMU graduates do? Well, what do I do now?