Home For My Soul

58|Not Easy

Realizing what he was about to do, I brushed his hand off my collar and moved away from him. I don't care if my movements get her pushed into her bed so she's in pain. All I'm sure is a charade.

Because I'm sure, it's not her body that's hurt, but her feelings. Ever since she entered my room without hesitation, I knew this woman was no longer an innocent girl. He must have been used to doing more than holding hands with men. Moreover, he did not think twice asking to be delivered to the room.

“What's wrong with you? I just want to thank you,” he said spoiledly. Maybe other men should be moved or tempted to see it, I don't.

“That word is enough, there is no need to kiss me everything,” I said, holding back anger.

“We were engaged for six months, but you wouldn't touch me. Don't you want to make fun of me once?” ask her with a face.

Before he acted foolishly, I immediately used the opportunity to get out of his room. I didn't have any encouragement when I was with him, nor when he touched me. So, why am I making out with him? Just being around her I don't want to, let alone kiss her.

I shuddered slowly imagining what almost happened. I thought he was really sprained, it turned out to be a charade, because he chased me all the way to the door. I don't want to give all my first experiences with women with him. I'd better kiss the wall.

Matt looked at me in confusion, but he followed me out of the suite without saying anything. He could find the answer seeing Chika follow us. I prepared to slam our bedroom door in front of his face if he chased us. Thankfully, he stayed in their suite.

“Wow, Theo. What makes you this angry?” it was Matt who was watching my face.

“Quick, pack your stuff. I want you to stay by my side until we part from them.” I rushed to the bathroom and collected all my personal belongings.

“Gue already said, talk to Papa,” he said, still had time to advise me, then I looked at him without a word. “OK, okay. I won't be far from you. Ask for help it lows a little, dong. Even wear threatening.”

Hearing that, I smiled. Amaryllis was always upset whenever I did that to her. His angry face was suddenly so much I missed. I want to fuss again with her, hold her hand while walking together, and observe her confused face when I kiss her.

Bizarrely. Why am I just realizing this now? Every single thing Chika does that makes me uncomfortable, I enjoy with Amarylis. Is Richo telling the truth? Ah, naw. Amaryllis is not my type. After all, we are not equal. I had no way out so that my parents would be willing to bless our relationship.

If people find out he's paying for college busking, people will insult me and my family. Mom and Dad would not let us be together. What Mama has shown is nothing if she has put all her abilities into action.

Dismantling Grandma's grave and waking her from the world of the dead she would do, if it could keep me away from Amaryllis. So, no. I better forget that idea. I just need to find a way to break off my engagement with Chika.

We gathered in the lobby to check-out from the hotel, then drove a taxi to the airport. Matt kept his promise by never being away from my side. But he had to sit alone, when me and Chika were again sitting next to each other.

“Holiday next semester, we take another walk, yuk,” he said, opening the conversation.

“Bby. I'm not coming,” I said, without further ado.

“Lo? Why so? You pick a place, I don't mind,” persuade him. He brought his body closer to me, so I shifted.

“Gue will submit a research proposal this semester, then a thesis in the next semester. Do you think I have time for a vacation?” sarcas.

“Secap it?” tanyanya did not believe. “I have not been able to submit a proposal in this even semester. Ah, it's okay. You'll continue your studies, so I don't need to rush. I'm glad you graduated first. That way, our wedding can take place faster.”

As soon as the plane took off, I chose to put on a blanket and sleep. Only then did he stop talking. Thankfully, he will not be reckless when our parents are near us. Come to think of it, I am also so against Amaryllis. I did all the things he didn't like.

The difference is, he didn't avoid me like I felt with Chika. His mouth said no, but he was happy when I returned his attitude to the things he liked. Damnit. I intend to sleep, why even think about the girl again?

Finally, I couldn't sleep at all during the flight. Only when my body meets the surface of my bed will I be able to slumber. Relieved, calm, and happy mixed into one made me sound for almost twelve hours.

“You are so great. I can't get a perfect score, but you can reach it easily.” Chika clucked in admiration.

I don't know how he knew I was coming to college this morning. Most likely from Mama or someone she told me to stalk me. Whichever one it is, I don't care. Just let him do what he wants, as long as he doesn't touch me anymore.

“Same as Amarylis. He's lucky to have a watered-down brain that makes it easy for him to get this A.” He glanced towards the board where located the announcement of the results of our junior student grades.

Just because he didn't get a similar grade doesn't mean we're easy to get that grade. We learn harder than others. I attended the lecture, still had to accompany Papa outside the study hours, and repeated the course before going to bed. It's not easy, but hard work.

But people like him would not understand. Only Amaryllis can understand me. We have no time to play around other than to study and work every day. Ah, he again. Why don't I stop thinking about him?

Last weekend before Matt entered school, the parents took us on vacation to several places in Java. They rented a minibus so two families could fit in. Matt did something I didn't expect. He's the one sitting on Chika's side.

Our first stop was Mount Tangkuban Perahu in Lembang. Then we had lunch in Bandung while buying some snacks typical of the city. Learning from the first experience, Chika waited for me to sit down, just filling the place next to me.

“The result of our photo was good,” he said while looking at the screen of his phone. “Which one do you like for me to put on my medsos?”

I didn't answer that trivial question, but it didn't make him give up. He kept talking to me about the places we visited, the food we ate, even the places the bus passed. In the evening, we stayed in Semarang.

“There are still two more days before we can escape that family,” complained Matt. I just kept quiet. “Do something, Theo. I don't want her to be my sister-in-law.” Do something, Theo.

“Lo can calm down a little, can't you? Just enjoy the holidays. We will soon be free of them. Focused on college, I went abroad. I assure you, this is our last trip together,” I said casually.

“Awas lo, if lying,” threatened him.

“Wedang yunya tasty. Come on, spend it while it's warm.” I deliberately took Matt out of the hotel when everyone went back to their room. Fortunately, the store is still open.

Back home, I can't relax. In the afternoon, I accompanied Papa to eat with his colleagues. The owner of a large company that repeatedly cooperates with Papa. Mid-year, they intend to hold a birthday event and hire the services of our restaurant to provide consumption.

Papa went to the toilet, so the man and I talked together. Or rather, I heard he didn't stop talking about his experience developing his family business since he became president. It's boring, but I always learn new things from the same story.

“Ah, by the way you are studying in the university management department here, right?” tanyanya, shift the topic of conversation. I nodded slowly. “Do you know Amarilis Josepha?” He called out the name slowly while staring at his tablet screen.

“Know, Om. My junior,” I replied. Just be right. Even with people who don't know him, I hear his name. What does all this mean?

“It happened! We gave scholarships to five outstanding students, but he was the only one we could not contact. The number he gave was wrong. Do you know how to contact him?” he said with a hopeful tone.

Did I not hear wrong? That careless girl gave the wrong number? So stupid. He applied for the scholarship and only gave a mobile number, without an address. The number was written wrong. Does he need a scholarship or not?

I immediately gave him the correct number and the man was very grateful. Bizarrely. They never did this. If the candidate cannot be contacted, they will look for another candidate. Why did they still insist on giving the careless girl a chance?

Giving up on my circumstances and thoughts, and on that day, I saw him busking from afar. I smiled and saw that there were many people surrounding him. Chika suddenly comes and hits her violin until it falls.

Can't bear to see his arrogance anymore, I intend to help. But someone held my hand from behind, stopping my steps.