Home For My Soul

2|All Your fault

Friends can see me, so I can't be a ghost. I held my cheek. Since when did my cheeks become so stye? I saw the clothes I was wearing. This dress is not foreign. I raised both my hands and saw his fat fingers.

“Cannot be!” I jumped in surprise. “Must be sure. This is impossible.” I held my hair, checked my neck, and looked at my feet. I must be dreaming.

But after rubbing my eyes so many times, I was still in the same body. My body is not far from me and is being handled by two teachers. One pumped his chest, the other gave him an artificial breath. This can't be reality.

How can I be here, while my body is there? My feet stepped on their own, approaching me who felt so far away. The body that I usually can only see clearly through the mirror, I was looking at without the help of any glass.

“Hey, no! He became so because of you. I won't let you hurt him again.” Chika prevented me from walking near my body.

“Let go of my hand.” I held her hand and pushed her away. He rounded his eyes, as if he had never been treated that way.

“Katelia!” My classroom guardian called out in a hopeful voice. “Oh, thank goodness.” He and other teachers who helped stop giving artificial breath.

The sound of ambulance sirens broke the silence of the night. They carried my body over a gurney, then put it in the car. My three best friends prevented me from approaching my body. I really fucking. People are starting to get confused about what to do. The vacation that was supposed to be our fondest memories in the last days of SMU, turned disastrous.

Not knowing what to do, we just obeyed the orders of the teachers. The bus that took us to Parapat was ready to take us back to Medan. The other students were welcomed by their families, whereas I just stood alone in the crowd.

“Tante I'm coming to pick up. Come on, we'll take you home,” Theo said. I looked towards him. Seeing that there was no other way, I got into his car.

“You're sure he doesn't need to go to the hospital?” ask a woman sitting in the front seat. “You said, he also splashed into the lake with Katelia.”

“Tante is right too. We'll take him to the hospital. Everyone just focused on Katelia until she forgot that there were two victims who drowned.” Theo clucked in annoyance.

What's up with him? I didn't drown. What's the point of me ever winning a swim if getting out of the lake safely can't? That stupid amaryllis made it all this way. Good thing, they took me to the hospital. So, I can figure out a way to get back to my real body.

My parents must have asked me to be taken to the best hospital in our city. It wasn't far from school, so I didn't wonder Aunt Theo took me to the same hospital. Several friends and teachers were also seen near the ER room.

“It turns out Katelia was right. He's a useless man. Just look at what he's done. As soon as there was a chance, he drowned our friend,” whispered someone. He spoke loud enough that I could hear him as we passed him.

“Katelia was wrong too. He was determined to fight that fat girl. Obviously he lost one against one,” said the other. I clenched my fists hearing the insults. I am not as fat as Amaryllis, but I am much stronger than her.

“Let me register, you take her to check,” said Aunt Theo gently as we entered the room with that many rooms.

The young man according. He took me to the inside of the ER ushered in the cynical gazes of friends. A nurse pointed to the empty room. I was told to wait until the doctor arrived. Theo just kept quiet as he accompanied me in the room.

I didn't hear Mom's voice. Was my body not brought here? What happens until I can be in this fat and weak body? All I remember is a blinding light. Then I woke up by the lake. My body lies not far from me, while I am in this body.

“Goodnight. Can I help you?” A man in white clothes entered the room with a nurse.

“He drowned in the lake, Doctor. We managed to save him, but to make sure he was okay we brought him here,” Theo said, answering his question.

“Good. We check the physical condition first, yes.” He put up his stethoscope, then approached me.

“The girl is in the ICU room. Hope he's as safe as you.” He asked me to open my mouth and check on him. “Good. There is nothing to worry about from the physical condition that can be seen by the eyes. There's just a little lung problem. Possibly water entry while breathing through nose in lake.”

The doctor advised me to rest and maintain my diet, as well as prescribe the medications I need to take. I didn't suspect anything before. The tightness I felt at first I thought because of this fat body. It turns out that there is fluid in the lungs.

“Where is the child?” I heard the voice of Mama. And finally! I stood up and looked expectantly at the curtains of the room. Mama can definitely know the nature of her own daughter. Not like my friends who I thought were my best friends. “Where is the woman who killed my daughter!?”

The man who killed Mama's daughter? Whatdoes thatmean? Did I not hear wrong? Oh, dearGod. Did something happen to my body?

My heart is beating hard. No. gabe. I must have concluded wrongly. There's no way Amaryllis would die in my body. Ja. That's not what Mama meant. Maybe he's just as angry as his friends do. My mom won't be upset after knowing who I am.

The curtains of the room where I was located opened violently. The face was finally in front of me. My mother loved me and gave me everything I asked for. The woman who was always on my side when my two brothers teased me.

“Killer!!” He approached quickly, then pulled my sweatshirt collar. “Why did you pull my daughter to drown in the lake!? Huh!? Why is!? What's wrong with you!!? If you want to die, why not just die alone?? Why did you kill my daughter too!?”

“Killer!!” He slapped my cheek hard. Theo and the doctor immediately distanced him from me. “Why did you survive!? Why aren't you the one who died!? Return my daughter!! Restore her!! Unhand me! This girl needs to be taught a lesson!!”

My whole body trembled violently. The pain from the slap was nothing compared to the full stare on your eyes. My heart was beating so hard that my ears were closed. Did I not hear wrong? Mama said, I'm dead? Is it true that the body in which Amaryllis is located is dead?

No. gabe. This is not true. I have to do something. Mama was still yelling, so I ran past her to the ICU. Amaryllis cannot die! That stupid fat girl can't do this to me! He can't die!

“Suster! Sister, where's Amarylis' body, ah, I mean, where's Katelya's body??” ask the nurse in front of the room.

“It has been taken to the morgue to be bathed,” he replied lightly. He was busy with the paper in front of him.

“No. He's not dead yet. You guys should help him. Hurry up, get them back here! She's not dead yet, Sister!” I hit the table, caught his attention.

He lifted his head from the papers. “Ah, you must be his friend.” He put on a sad face. “I know this news is heavy for you. I'm sorry, but the girl is dead. We tried as hard as we could. Unfortunately, he was no longer helped.”

“You're wrong! He's not dead!” seruku panic. My head was suddenly empty, not knowing what to do. “Quick, bring him back here! I know how to make him recover again!” I don't know what to do, but I can think about it later.

“Dik, your friend is gone. You better go home or accompany him at the funeral home. We are not God who can give life to the dead. We are only medical personnel,” he said again in a sympathetic tone.

“What do you do here?” ask someone from my left. “Gue just found out you care about Katelia. He's dead, Mar. There's nothing else you can do.”

“Killer! You'll go to jail and die there! Just look! I won't shut up until you go to jail!” mama who also came to follow me.

Several classmates and teachers were also standing nearby. They looked at me with various expressions until my head was dizzy to see it. No one ever pitied, accused, or humbled me with their eyes, but that look was now directed at me.

My legs were no longer strong enough to hold my body so I sat on the floor. Amaryllis died, then what about me? This is not my body. Am I going to live like this forever? Until I die after him too? Oh, dearGod. What sins?