Home For My Soul

46|Alright

Aunt Wibowo is getting more and more misbehaved and her attention is also Chika diverted from me. That chance I used to run away and enter an empty room. Just crazy. I had to refrain from urinating in order to hear Mama's anger.

I touched my painful cheek. My whole life as Katelia, Mama never hit me. Ever since I became Amaryllis, I've been slapping her repeatedly. I know he's angry and I get it, but this is not how to vent anger.

Chika, she'll get a reply from me for every slap my mama gave me. He's still heating it up so badly. Katelia died almost two years ago, but Mama's emotions are still the same. I don't know what other provocation came out of the girl's dirty mouth.

I opened the door carefully though I could no longer hear Mama and Theo's voice. Thankfully, there was no one but the woman I didn't know. I washed and dried my hands, then rushed out of the toilet. Theo stood waiting outside.

“Lo okay?” tanyanya glanced towards my left cheek.

“Iya.” I look around us. Neither Mama nor Chika were seen anywhere.

“They're gone. But we have to be careful, who knows they are waiting in the parking lot to make calculations again with lo.” He touched my sore cheek. I grimaced. “Gue got ointment in box P3K.”

He took my hand to his car. I sighed with relief seeing no more queues of cars coming out of the hotel grounds. We were finally able to go home without having to wait long to arrive at the parking payment post.

“Sit.” Theo opened the front door of his car.

I sat down sweetly, without refuting. He opened the medicine box, then took out an ointment. After checking the packaging, then he smeared the ointment that felt cold on my cheek. Looking at him from such a close distance and noticing his two eyes that were concerned about my situation, my heart suddenly thumped.

“Do not move,” he said as I retreated slightly, giving distance between us. “Can't you hold back the pain for a moment?”

Hearing that annoying sentence, what I felt just now instantly collapsed. My heart is pounding, for holding back emotions, not because. I don't know why I dig around when we're so close.

Arriving at the room, I did not sit idly by thinking about what had just happened. I better sleep and gather energy to busk the next day. I don't have time to feel sad or regret my life. My whole time is money.

I jogged in the morning, then ignored the tears that flowed down my face. Its alright. The storm must have passed. It's all just a test to forge as hard as I try to achieve all my dreams. I won't lose here.

“Theo?” I was surprised to see him in front of my house. “What are you doing here?” There was no one else but him and his motorcycle.

“Mandi and change your clothes. I accompany the activity today,” orders.

“I'm not—” I said, refused.

“Lo shower alone or I bathe?” threaten her. This guy is really out of his mind.

Thirty minutes later, I came out of the house and found that he was still in his place. He won't come in to wait for me on the porch, so I'm not forcing. If she'd rather stand up hot, yeah, go ahead.

He put a helmet on my head, then helped me sit in the back seat of his motorcycle. I immediately mentioned my destination when he asked. It's too bad to hear him threaten again, so I better be honest.

The park was already crowded with people exercising, so I looked for a place and started playing the violin. I don't know where Theo is and don't want to know either. I focus on playing to entertain everyone who listens.

“Eat,” Theo said as I just finished a song.

I turned towards the food box he had thrust at me, then glanced at the watch. Ah, it's lunchtime. I sat on the rock behind me. We had lunch together under a shade tree. I saw some other merchants also eating while serving their consumers.

“Lo always do this on every Sunday?” ask Theo.

“Also on Saturday,” I replied. He nodded slowly. “What's up? Are you ashamed to have a girlfriend who busks in front of a lot of people?”

“Gue is more embarrassed to have a fiance who likes to bully weaker people,”.

He looked at me carefully. I frowned seeing that he was just silent. What the hell is he thinking? Ah, maybe he's looking for a suitable reply that would irritate me to him. That's all he ever did when he was with me.

I continued eating and was surprised when he brought his face closer. I was stunned, because he kissed me on the cheek. He put his face away again and went back to eating his boxed rice. I blinked, not believing what had just happened.

He really kissed me?

“Why you—” more I want to know.

“Lo done eating?” He saw my empty rice box. “Sini, let me throw out the box.” Without waiting for my response, he picked up the box and left.

I just looked at his strange attitude. Unable to see his face from behind, I did not know his expression after kissing me earlier. I held my left cheek, it must be red because I felt my face hot.

He not only gave me lunch, but also dinner. Surprisingly, he did not protest at all seeing me work all day at the place. He also faithfully accompanies me from my coming home. An attitude I never expected I would see from a Theo.

“Aren't you going to be scolded by your mama accompanying me all day?” I was surprised to return his helmet to him.

“My family has their own business, we don't find out. My parents believed in my activities the same, so who would be angry?” answer it casually.

“Ah, yes. You're males. Parents usually don't care. I can go all day without anyone's escort,” lamented. Then I realized my mistake. “Ah, I mean first, not now.” I'm no longer Katelia, but Amarylis.

“Who said I wasn't escorted by anyone?” he said casually. His words made me look around us. “Enter. Tomorrow you have to get up early to attend college.”

Because he was right, I said. But I couldn't sit up while lying in bed. My cheeks heated up considering the incident when he kissed her. The unexpected guy often confused me should take our relationship seriously or temporarily.

Why isn't he like other normal men? Ah, yes. How can he behave normally. I'm just not normal. My body and soul were changed. Maybe hanging out with me for too long makes him a freak too. He doesn't know I should consider Amaryllis or Katelia.

I know she called me Katelia on purpose at certain times. Especially when she teases me. What he said is true. What would it feel like if I found out she was my fiancee? Whether we will be in a relationship like a courtship person in general or just a fuss like our habits so far.

Without me noticing, tears washed my pillow. I closed my mouth, holding the sobs that almost came out of my mouth. The other occupants of the room must have slept. I don't want to bother them. But those tears I can't stand.

I miss Katelya. Although I have tried, it is not easy for me to accept the body, destiny, and identity of Amaryllis to be a part of me as well. I was also tired of having to deal with Mama's anger every time we met. I really want to hug her.

We had met a few times, but all he did was get angry. For as long as I lived, my mother never hit me. He loved me very much and looked after me like a glass that could break at any time. Until I'm afraid Mama won't love me anymore if she finds out I was so mean to my friends at school.

Therefore, my two brothers are very envious of me. Mama doesn't hesitate to get angry and punish them physically, which is very different from me. Even so, they never hurt me intentionally, instead taking care of me excessively. I miss them all.

“Good morning,” greet Theo.

“Yes, geez!” pekikku surprised. He was already in front of the gate when I came out of the house.

“Lo okay?” He looked at my face carefully.

“Ah, yes.” I turned my face away so that he would not notice the state of my eyes. “Come, we're leaving. Don't let us arrive late at campus.”

He held back my body intending to get close to his motorcycle. I refused as he held my cheek, trying to face him. His attitude is starting to irritate me. Why does he not understand that I do not want to be pitied?

“Finally, you cry. I thought you were an alien who had no feelings.” He looked into both my eyes. I sneered at the label he gave me. “Gue know how to solve your problem, but do you believe me equally?”