SOULMATES

Meeting with Ina.

Today's shopping turn dus-dusan to the om, who longengan already yesterday.

I sent my order via whats app to the om.

Little by little slowly but surely I run my business well. Hopefully someday my dream of having a self-contained minimarket materializes, hopefully. What is important now is that all the needs of my life and Jarel can be fulfilled by my own efforts without relying on my husband. I have never depended on my husband before. Maybe at the time yesterday I was just a little careless hoping for human help, it turns out I got nothing. Even looked down upon when I fell down and had nothing. Only valuable life lessons. There I can see which people are the mode and which people are sincere. Even my sincerity means nothing if it's given to the wrong person. Now that I'm back to being myself, Zara has the power, a special woman who is independent and has a clear purpose in life.

Sorenya the om came to take my groceries to the store. Alhamdulilah other sales began to arrive even though they were small, It's okay everything needs a process. Efforts start from zero, if we go step by step then someday I will arrive at my own life goals.

The other night I sent a message to a Rangga asking for stuff. Because Si om does not know the stock of goods in the warehouse, the Om only delivery of goods.

"A Rangga Roti has not come yet? "

"Still empty. "

"Oh if tomorrow comes, say yes."

I wonder how a Rangga goes with Roses now.

"When do you want to marry a rose, what is it? "

A Rangga replied with emot, a lot of it.

"meaning? "

Confused him, Maybe because there are too many Roses, either of which Zara means.

I returned emot laughing.

"Sorry personal, don't interfere."

Ha. ha. I can only laugh. You're scared of me now Rangga.

"With anyone later, surely the soul mate of God who is chatty. "

That is, the time of Pa RT who is regular or the mother who is regular, is indeed God who is regular. Then you're not married to a rose right now. That's aja anyway.

"Ok ready, it won't do. "with emot laughs I reply.

"Enough, don't have WA here again. Shopping to the om aja. "

Waw..this is the last reply I got from A Rangga.

"Ok ready. Enough and thank you." I replied to a message from a Rangga.

"Because the average person will be good at the beginning but not necessarily at the end, and maybe I am also included in them. Who knows who knows."

Although many times I consider A Rangga good, but in the end a Rangga does not want to be considered a good person. The dark side in a Rangga is more dominant, thus covering everything good that is on him.

The wise words that Rangga gave at the beginning were able to make me a better person now, but he himself was still like that, he said, As if she would resist the change in herself to become a better person.

I'd better leave, because it's none of my business now. His life like anything is up to him. I don't feel hurt either. The important thing is that I can now understand what Rangga's character is like.

Maybe I've felt, I've always loved you Rangga since the beginning of our meeting. My love for you never faded. Even if your treatment of me is like that. I can always forgive. Zara and Rangga are never apart, your sadness is my sadness, your happiness is my happiness. You and I are one. One soul in 2 different bodies. Despite the distance of space and time. But Rangga was always in Zara's heart, soul, and mind all this time.

But until when do I survive if only injured. If I ever survived a rainstorm, why shiver through a drizzle. If Zara could forget Ditto in an instant, why Zara could not forget Rangga.

There is no sense of pride without effort, no sense of satisfaction without hard work, because your success depends on your efforts. Sometimes Zara chooses to block the storm, I know I can crumble and be destroyed. But what does it mean to live if you keep hiding in the closet, what does it mean to live if you never turn on your guts. If that storm destroys me, at least I'm not rotting in that hideout.

Over time I learned to understand the nature and character of Rangga who is very, very closed. No Sosmed, no photo, so mysterious is his life. She is a DPO Woman. If he is a good man, thank God. But if he is actually a high-class player for what I hope Imam like that, although the background is a santri exodus pesantren but if the person can not be understood and can not be open in communication what I can live with people like this later. Even now Rangga seems to be avoiding me. Afraid that all his behavior will be exposed. It's nothing at that moment that we improve. Because that person will not always be right and will not forever do bad either.

Rangga also once said, on the one hand, the good reason that I can accept is.

"You can be honest, I've never had a problem with status. There's one reason why I haven't had an escort yet. Honestly, I still have family members. My father is dead, and I still have a sister. If men have different responsibilities than women. Women if they are married, the responsibility to their parents is reduced, because of the transfer of responsibility to the husband. Whereas if the man despite being married the responsibility towards his parents remains the same. Most should be fair in his material living."

Reason with common sense. The reason a great man is full of responsibility towards the family. Zara likes that.

The bad side of A Rangga is.

A Rangga once said

"I'm not as good as you think I am. "

"You know what's ugly? "

"Smooth look with other people, especially girls, many anyway. Frequent seductive chick. And love to sleep when it's bad again. The work males are also sleeping. "

Sure enough, I've seen there is one woman who tacked on to a Rangga she continues to hold the hand of a Rangga without shame. It was in the store, the position of many people. His woman's the wife of the man anyway. Especially in a quiet place. I don't know what they're doing.

A Rangga said it was the one I saw, there were many others. With his pride he thought he was the conqueror of many women, whoever he would get, with his looks and words of wisdom. When you feel unsuitable and bored, you will look for better. Even he once said maybe if I dandan and a little he would be tempted he said. Allahu akbar Very cool huh.

Even if A Rangga wants to have a girlfriend, he once said he would not be close. Mending the LDR, maybe I understand it now so that his behavior is not exposed, and can easily manipulate the woman. What kind of person do I want as a priest.

At that time my logic was not working because it was covered with my Love for Rangga. I hope over time that bad habit will change. Because maybe he is still single at the moment, so his behavior is like that.

But as time went on, instead of him he improved himself, instead choosing to leave.