IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Eagle's Look

We have arrived at the pesantren.

I went down first and helped Siska walk. While Ustad Billal helped bring the food that had been wrapped. Siska asked for one more serving of soto to be wrapped, maybe the nights she was hungry.

After driving Siska into the room I went back out to meet ustad. Take the package and car keys.

Deg

Again our eyes meet. I immediately turned my eyes in the other direction, but not with Ustad Billal. His eyes remained intensely staring at me. I don't know which part is actually being looked at. With his hands still held out a plastic package.

"assalamu'alaikum" apparently Ummi has come.

"waalaikumsalam" welcome me.

"how is Siska? "

"already in ummi's room. After eating, I also took medicine"

"i say goodbye, assalamu'alaikum" Ustad Billal said goodbye.

"iya ustad, thank you. waalaikumsalam"

then me and ummi went into the room to see Siska.

"how son, is it better? " tanya ummi to Siska.

I left ummi and Siska in the room. Looking for fresh air while stabilizing the heartbeat that is still racing erratically.

Opening the sheet by sheet that was given by Mr. Nicholas.

Next week an acceleration test will be held and this is the last test exercise. The more here it is indeed more draining the brain. What about the real test?

"Kayra, ummi stay here first" ummi came out and touched my shoulder while saying goodbye.

After Ummi's departure I went back to the room. Actually afraid to also be on the old terrace, afraid that someone skinned me with his gaze. Actually, what Billal did to me, was it just because of my mistake the other day. Was it a fatal mistake?

I remember my silly behavior in Junior High. Because I do not like to be the attention of teachers in less, so I mix his drinks with vetcin, masako, and other flavoring spices.

And again, when Elementary I became the pride of the homeroom teacher. Just because the homeroom teacher was close to my mom. And I don't like that. Then I put dirt and glue on his bench.

Why is my life always the center of attention?

If yesterday was dealing with men of the same age, I would dare to argue and get angry. But this time, it seems like I don't have the courage to fight back. Never mind fighting back with words, against the look in his eyes alone I dare not.

Mamaaaaaa tolooonngggg, Kayra wants to be a baby again if it has to be like this

Without me noticing, I squeezed out the paper I was holding.

"Kay, that's not the exercise paper that was last afternoon"

I quickly tidied back up as soon as I realized it. Baby, the paper is already crumpled.

"yes aampuunnn" I cried when the crumpled paper did not want to return to its original form.

"you why the hell? " ask Siska.

"want to be a baby" I replied.

"want to be a baby, would you like to have a baby? " ask Siska back.

"you ah, dark" trying to forget but hard. In the end, I could only go through the circumstances.

"it's not clear you. The feeling is yes, since isolating yourself in this boarding school you become more chatty instead of more quiet. Padi tuh more and more contains the ducking".

"what the hell Kay" he said grumbling dislike my behavior.

"alert yourself until you feel sick. You don't know what it's like to be watched up and down by Ustad Billal"

"sick Kay, I'm sick. But it could be suddenly healed seeing your behavior" he said while pulling a blanket covering the entire body, including the head.

I leave Siska with such behavior. I don't want to stay late in the same conversation.

"sleep well, so tomorrow is good and can go to college "my mumbling while away from the bed. Either Siska heard it or not. Then I went to the living room.

I sat down and looked at the paper that was crumpled. It takes time to digest the problems listed there. But I don't think it's too hard.

At least it is not as difficult to understand Arabic. Moreover, his teacher is terrible like ustad Billal. Astagfirullah, if I was still cool when SD, SMP first. Who does not understand sin, maybe I have thought of many ways to reply to the gaze of Ustad Billal.

"This is in the face of the paper about but his mind why it became to ustad ya" murmured me.

Realizing the contents of my head were starting to go out of sync, I finished my studies and returned to the room. Following Siska to dreamland.

The next morning I followed the morning prayer as usual. While Siska was still sleeping soundly and I accidentally didn't wake her up.

After the dawn prayer I joined santriwati who was murajaah. Even if it's just a short letter, I want to improve all my Quran recitations.

But now I'm starting to have a target, at least 30 juice should I master.

I ended my teaching as soon as the sky began to show a white light. Because it was cool to teach me to forget to build a Siska for dawn prayer. "How is the boy? " murm me and soon maybe I go back to the pavilion.

"assalamu'alaikum" I said as soon as I entered the room.

"waalaikumsalam" he answered flatly and without further ado.

"how is Sis, so good yet? " ask me.

"yet. I didn't go in today" he asked.

"but breakfast, right? " i start worrying if I visit the main house alone.

"i want to eat chicken porridge, gofood later"

Hearing Siska's reply made me sit limp for a moment.

"let me see if ummi makes what menu today" I still hope Siska is with me.

I went to the main house, headed straight for the kitchen because it was quiet in front.

"Assalamu'alaikum" everyone in the kitchen looked up.

"waalaikumsalam.Kay, how is Siska" asked Ummi.

"he still wants to rest ummi, today did not go to college"

Cooking activities are still ongoing and do not take long for all the dishes presented on the dining table.

There is vegetable soup, and I feel quite delicious to eat while warm when the body is not healthy.

I got a reason to avoid the dining table at the main residence.

Certainly not to avoid the food presented there, but avoid the eagle gaze of Ustad Billal.

_____________tbc_________________