IF YOU ARE A FOOL
Daily prayer
Rahardian POV
I didn't expect my honesty to make Kayra and I go any further. He told us not to know each other anymore.
This chest was instantly congested hearing that sentence.
I desperately wanted to deny and negotiate about her decision, but it felt like dejavu, as if looking at myself. Only this time he turned around to leave me. Not yet I said, he was saying goodbye to go home.
Once I dared to hold her hand, but a cynical word came out. His heart is still hot. And every spicy word that came out of her mouth, honestly cracked my gut feeling. Agh, why am I so melow like this. I'm a guy, where's my faith all this time?! The belief that everything I do is right. The belief that my God will win my heart.
If only I had not remembered the sin, I would have loved to embrace him. So that he might feel the turmoil in my chest. Which I've been holding all this time.
If I do not remember sin, I would like to ease any anger with ***** his lips.
Astagfirullah, think what am I?!
It could be that he's getting more ill-filed with me.
If I had known it would happen this way, I would have chosen to love him in silence. Harboring every turmoil in this heart. Just let him consider me an enemy, but I can still steal the view from a distance.
Now what a difference, no longer hate but do not want to know again.
My heart felt broken, invisible but so claustrophobic. If I wasn't a man, maybe my sobs would've broken.
I dropped this body on the floor instantly as I entered the room.
Again I could only fall in my bow.
What was once beautiful has now been lost, completely lost. Will it come back beautiful later?
Without me noticing some tears falling on the prayer mat, just not making a sound.
What sin am I, so it must be stirred up before I even begin.
Had crossed many thoughts, until finally my heart returned to the owner.
I am weak, but my God is Strong. I really feel helpless, going back and forth. I can't possibly force it to go after Kayra, it will only undermine the trust Ummi has just given me.
Even retreat I will not be able to. There will be a lot of guys approaching him.
Before long I found a photo and vidio laughing loosely with a guy. My heart is starting to get jealous.
And this morning, I saw for myself she was going with a man. How am I not getting worse? It could be without me knowing that his heart has been taken by someone.
Only the memories of the past that remember remain beautiful, for the next I myself began to hesitate to convince my heart. Will he still see me?
I feel like I'm at a bad point right now. When my heart began to crack, my faith also cracked. About my courage, don't ask me again. My courage began to crumble when Ummi began to act real with my behavior.
What would happen if I approached him? of course, the closer I get to him, the further he gets.
My heart has been shrinking. Until I finally thought, that I should not shrink my God.
Again, just do'a my strength. Prejudice on whatever happens to me today.
I have not given up and will never give up. Until watching the marriage of each of us, only then did I know my hope was completely destroyed and there was no longer a word for us.
I'm still waiting for you in the do'a.
"Lord, strengthen my heart. Strengthen Faith. Patience myself. Assist me, for one day pick him up in a hatch.
If she's the best woman you've ever meant for me, then take care of her for me. His heart is also his faith.
No matter what distance you present between us, keep our hearts close to each other. May you be ridho, aamiin"
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the heartbroken eeeecieeeeee. Those who read do not need to follow the baper.
Aamiin kan do'a Rahardian.
Hope you don't clap one hand.
About a real soul mate, right???
stay tuned for next story 😁
hugged the heartbroken Rahardian. Make readers can also de, mumpung again the rainy season so that the angels how is 🤣🤣🤣🤣
