IF YOU ARE A FOOL

That something?

I myself have never felt the name of falling in love, dating, and then heartbreak. Why do we have to experience something like this?

Who is in love, who is heartbroken, who bears the consequences.

Do something with the intention of God, God willing, any weight will be light. All Muslims are brothers. Only on the basis of humanity do this.

With bismillah I stepped foot in Jo's house. Just twice I entered this house, it still feels foreign. Another case with adek, which is already like his own home.

I assured my heart after I met Dian.

There were objections, but he did not forbid. Thank goodness my explanation was enough to make him understand and confident in my feelings that will not turn away.

Astagfirullah, maybe I preceded God's destiny. Is not Allah the All-Aware?

This heart can turn away whenever God wills.

About feelings, why this complicated.

It is up to God's destiny. As Siska said, the most important thing is this moment. And it is Brother Jo who currently needs more of his life spirit back.

"assalamu'alaikum" I said hello as soon as I saw my brother Jo's family who seemed to be waiting for me. The little baby who used to be red when I was close to Jo's sister, is now an adorable toddler.

"waalaikumsalam hall. Thank you Kayra you are ready to come" said mother brother Jo who was then followed by her husband

"yes Kayra. Om really hope Johan gets back his spirit and can finish s1 who lives in plain sight" like his family is expecting a lot against me.

"InshaAllah om, aunt. Kayra will try, but Kayra can not promise anything" there was a concern, lest this be the beginning of an arranged marriage. Given the relationship between Jo's family and my family.

Did your mom know about this?

back to the issue of mama, because I had not had time to contact mama. I got out of the boarding school at 6 a.m. I even died at breakfast. Meet with Dian for a while then drive the car to Jo's house.

At 7:30 I had to be on campus.

It took quite a long time until the end of her room Jo's door was opened.

Even my presence was rejected by him. But what power, the helpless face of both of Jo's parents made me not want to give up.

It was so sad, the face I used to know was so cool. Always looking fresh and eccentric. With a hairstyle that is always neat. Now it's a little difficult for me to recognize.

Hair with a moustache that is left elongated. Taper face with blackened eye basins. I don't know how long he hasn't rested well.

Sad to also see the figure of brother Jo who is currently.

After I was allowed in by Jo's sister, both her parents chose to leave us both. Maybe so Jo's more comfortable saying anything to me.

If only we were muhrim, at least flowing brotherly blood, maybe I'd have hugged her tightly.

If it is usually Brother Jo who is always on standby to guard me, provide his shoulders even if I do not want to. Maybe that's what I'll do to restore her spirit.

"sister should not have to force accept the decisions of others, to give peace to others. If at the end of his own brother should be like this"

I don't know why it has to be this big of a sacrifice for Jo's brother for me. Just to make me reach for my comfort.

"then what can I do, if at the end of it I can only accept your anger and hatred. I can't stand it"

"not that way, brother. Brother hasn't asked me directly, has he? you haven't heard from me yet, why I did it all.

Indeed, brother is one of the causes of it, but not absolute because of brother's fault.

Who says I hate my sister"

"but you never answered my call. Nor did I reply to my message. How I know.

Kayra, you don't have to feel sorry for me.

I can live my own life, if in the end I have to lose you"

"losing what the hell brother. Who lost who? we are nobody. We are just helpless little creatures, when God has taken our lives from the esophagus.

Come sis. Where is your old soul? who's always a prankster, prankster, king of dreadlocks.

I'm already here, ready for your dreadlocks" I teased Brother Jo with a wink. But it turned out to be futile. My sentence has not succeeded in diving into the thoughts of Brother Jo.

He just kept quiet while playing a match. Any matches? I spread my eyes across the room. Oh, there's a cigarette, too. Since when?

But I don't want to ask you directly about it. As I know, cigarettes are said to be soothing for some people.

And, oh no!

Why do I see a bottle under the bed?

"sister, look at Kayra" I ventured to sit closer to Jo's sister. Touching his chin, and looking up at his face to look at mine.

Dag dig dug, my heart is racing fast. I've never done this before.

"how much do you care about Kayra? " i continued to observe eyeballs that had never before dared to return his gaze.

I want to get honest when I ask you something.

I asked him a few questions that might make him happy right now. Before I finally asked about the illegal goods.

"all that's brother's, since when did you touch those things?

If dear sister is bigger for Kayra than yourself. Kayra please, stay it all brother.

I want Kayra to be happy, Kayra is sad to see a sister like this. Kayra was sad to see sister befriended by those things.

So. if you want to be friends with Kayra. Get rid of those things"

"how about Dian. Has he not become your world, filling your whole heart. Even my efforts have been in vain. Turns out there's a name that closes the door of your heart"

"unlike a man who has no faith. The heart is only a small part, even very small for God to move. We don't yet know what the end of our journey will be like. It could be that I'm not a match for you two"

Dagdigdug, dagdigdug, dagdigdug

this real morning heart sport.

Brother Jo hugged me tightly. Real tight. Even until I was able to feel his heartbeat was also his breathing. With me wearing wedges at the moment, my height almost spares Jo's body. And I can feel little things that belong to Brother Jo down there.

Huuuwaaaaa, want to run away in this kind of atmosphere?

Just now I was able to subdue a human who was almost frustrated by love. Isn't it just nonbelievers who will do it all?

He's too ambitious. So obsessed with me. The expectations are too high.

Is what I do right now actually nurturing all those feelings?

"sister I don't breathe" a classic reason that is often spoken, I think it's appropriate to free me from my current position.

"promise to be the old Johan again. It's not over yet. There is still time for my brother to try to win my heart.

If brother is disheveled like this, how can I fall in love with brother"

This sentence of mine, I consciously gave hope to Brother Jo.

Ah, umpteen. It should be remembered, it's not over. The most important thing right now is that Jo's getting her spirit back. As time goes on I will try to make him understand. The important thing is to heal first, I murmured in my heart.

Then I glanced at the wall clock in Jo's room which already showed the needle almost touching the number 6. That means half-eight.

I even missed time for breakfast.

"sister Kayra has to go. There's a class that Kayra has to teach this morning" I purposely tidied up my sister's hair.

"later to the barbershop, yes, Kayra was coming home from college" I ventured to do all this. Either this is right or wrong.

"just be careful on the way" I walked out of the room without being followed by Brother Jo.

There was a couple waiting for me in the front seat.

Aunt offers to have breakfast together. But what a pity, I am not reasoned to avoid like before. My schedule is really on today.

"thank you so much aunt. Kayra has not had breakfast either. But Kayra has to fill the class this morning" I tried to convince.

"are you an asdos? " ask me om.

"alhamdulillah yes om. It's been almost 2 months.

Kayra said yes, God willing later after college Kayra stopped by again"

By forcing me to shake my aunt's hand to say goodbye. Which was then greeted by babbling by the youngest daughter's toddler girl.

I walked out of the house accompanied by om and aunt.

I should get to the campus soon. Hopefully not jammed, the sentence is always a hope when in the city area.

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tbc

welcome to skip first. Kayra again hurry 🙏