IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Grief behind Happiness

If you wait, time feels so slow. Another time when you feel happy. Time seems to pass so quickly.

It was just yesterday that I was back home. Today we have to go back to Pesantren. Even incident after incident that happened unexpectedly, it seemed to make me reluctant to leave this place again.

Aargh, why am I being so wishy-washy. When all these problems came, I determinedly died home. And now, after everything had improved, I was reluctant to return to the Pesantren. The place that has been holding me for as long as I'm in trouble. A place that has given me additional knowledge and also new affection.

I shouldn't be like this.

I kept encouraging myself while putting things in the bag.

It was like this dream of happiness. Everything happened without me knowing it before.

The happiness that endures. Not yet had a smile fissured away from my lips, already startled again with another happiness. It feels so tired these lips are flattered.

It is with great weight that I must prepare to leave behind all the good dreams of yesterday. More precisely, leave someone who has given all those wonderful dreams.

Arrgghh, I don't think I'm willing to part with Dian yet. Parting with all this happiness turned out to be heavier. Compared to when I decided to stay away from her out of hatred.

kklleekk

The sound of the door opening. Disperse all my wishful thinking.

As soon as I looked at the door, my mother came in.

"are you ready, baby? " ask mama while rubbing the top of my head.

"yet ma, it still feels bad" I whined. Minutes later I got into my mom's arms.

"there's Dian downstairs" said the flat mom. Which then made me surprised and broke away from my mother's embrace.

What the hell is it? Why not tell me first?

It could be that the arrival of him makes it harder for me to return to Pesantren.

"what's he doing here, ma? " i tried to find out from my mom.

"mama didn't ask. Try asking yourself.

Hurry down, Kasian if you wait a long time. Mama wants to go back to the boutique again" then mama stood up and walked away my room.

After Mama's departure I immediately took her potluck veil. Because the clothes I've cleaned.

"hay" I said, as soon as I came down the stairs.

"assalamu'alaikum" said Dian.

"iya, yes. Wa'alaikumsalam" I know, the sentence he said was actually to remind me.

"what time it will be, let me take you" said Dian. And made me silent for a moment.

"how do I get my own car? " big question mark in my mind. Not that I underestimated. He's been everywhere on his favorite old motorcycle.

"let Nahla be the same Melan who brought your car" said Dian briefly, without asking me anything.

He just made his own decision? If it's the same Melan who used my car, j**angan said I left on an old motorcycle with him! There is Eyang here, there can be a mouth war.

"want you brother, itung-itung dating with his new car sister Dian" adek who had just entered the house just joined in the crush. But I don't know what he meant.

"new car? " i frowned looking at Dian. The one in the face smiled widely.

So, from the morning he said busy..busy buy a car? Just to get me back to Pesantren?

"so that's what you do from the morning, who says it's 'busy'? " ask me to clarify what's on my mind.

"yes, sorry. I should've made sure you were, so I could help you choose. But I go on a butut bike, not good to make you"

"astagfirullah Dian, what am I supposed to do until you think like that?

If you don't want me to ride your favorite motorbike, I can anter you use my car"

"not good, ngrepotin you will be.

Don't talk about that.

Deal yes I'm the anterine"

"they wait outside if you don't want pesantren people to know.

The important thing is that the pesantren know that you have me now"

I was stunned to hear Dian's words.

"meaning?

" yes, let usstadz Billal do not misunderstand again. Afraid he's still kekejah to deketin you"

I tried to swallow with great difficulty. With round eyes staring at Dian. How could he think that.

"i know, a man who has the will will will always move forward until he has no more gaps.

And I don't want you to stay close to each other"

Oh, so this is the point and purpose she gave me a bracelet with the initials on the top. So that everyone knows, if I belong to him. Possessive as well he turns out.

"Kayra.mau yes"

"Dian. I don't know why I'm happy with her possessive attitude.

"yes, would you? "

"I have no reason to refuse.

But, how do you know first if you have a new car?"

"yes, I was in close contact with Melan before coming here"

"owh, so now you have a cs in this house"

"that is, if Johan could. Why I don't. Don't want to lose to him"

Suddenly my heart rumbled to hear the name called again.

And just like her, Dian noticed the change in my face.

"Kay.

I was just saying her name"

I just nodded my head. The cheerful mood of joy instantly turned into anger, regret, disappointment and either feeling let alone.

With all my might I closed my eyes, holding back from crying.

"Kayra, I'm sorry I made you sad" Dian stroked the top of my head.

"yes, don't be sad anymore. I feel guilty.

can I hug, just for a second"

With eyes still closed, now my head is in Dian's arms. Feeling comfortable, the fresh scent of his body began to seep into my brain, soothing my heart. Replacing the rumble that just happened in there.

"yes, I'm sorry. I can't see you like this.

Let's talk about something else that makes you happy? "

Now our views meet. After her Dian removed her hand from my body.

"how if we buy food, or souvenirs so for the Pesantren"

I immediately agreed. Because since morning I have been planning to buy souvenirs for ummi. But not yet had the chance, finally decided to buy while leaving.

"Nahla... want to come along? " ask Dian on Adek. Looks like it's really their cs now.

"no ah, rather than being a mosquito repellent" she said.

I walked up the stairs to get the car keys.

I handed Dian the car keys, and then we went to say goodbye to Mama.

_______________TBC_________________