IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Must be sad or happy

Johan's car has entered the yard.

I went down to open the gate. Even though this is still the time to work, Mama does not get her children to be spoiled. As long as it can be done alone, why it should be served.

"So yok sis"

"i'll wait here. You change your clothes first"

I left Jo's brother on the porch, because he was the one who wanted to wait there.

I didn't see my mom in the house, only the sound of the washing machine in the back. Adek is also not. I went straight to my room to change.

I rushed to change clothes then pray dhuhur. Kasian left brother Jo alone for too long.

As soon as I got down, it turned out that he was already sitting inside. There was even a cold drink there.

"so taught not to go in"

"mama you told me to"

nurut very same mom, but her interests are the same as mine.

"sister is praying? "

"it was in the school mosque. Pas nyampe already Adzan dhuhur, so pray first"

"Kay, get Johan to eat first. Johan let's eat first son" the voice of the mother from the kitchen invited her guests to lunch. Very care, even though this time brother Jo played here. Apparently my mom knows Jo better than I do.

"yes aunt"

"ayo brother" I finally stood up to invite brother Jo to move to the dining table.

"dek where ma? "

"it's in the boutique. Aunty's staying at the boutique again huh, there's another order. You ate a lot, no need to hesitate" mama left us both

"yes aunt" same turn mom, yes

I noticed that the portion of Kak Jo's meal is still as much as the last one we ate together. Why it can look so skinny. Kumel again, not as quiet as when I last met.

On the sidelines of the meal I can't wait to ask

"sister"

"yes, what"

"how long have we not seen each other? "

"a month more, why. Kangen?? "

"start on! not that, brother kurusan anyway. Cumel again"

(again sprain style)

"uhhuukkk. It turns out you're secretly paying attention too"

"yeee, look at it already seen"

"setres, think of you who suddenly lost contact. That's why until I came here"

"what yes? "

"liy"

why this time he's not as prosperous as usual, his words are slab, flat.

finally we finished eating, I brought the dirty dishes back, the rest mbak jum who worked.

Me and Jo's brother went back to the living room. I meant to take a seat here, but Brother Jo instead sits on the porch. Maybe because in front there is a small garden with an open fish pond, so the atmosphere is fresher.

"a little while, I'll grab a snack first"

Brother Jo went to the terrace first, while I still took a bagelan snack and suwar suwir, a typical Banyuwangi food spent by bude at that time.

"cobain kak, typical food of Banyuwangi"

as soon as I got to the front, I thrust out two jars in front of Jo's sister.

Only in the lyrics. He turned on the music in HP with a soft voice. Jason Mraz, he's been playing music since I met him. Especially the one called I'm yours.

"said brother wanted to tell me about it. Why not go to Singapore? "

"my mom is pregnant with Kay" with a flat tone and a soft voice

"waaah, nice donk. Brother wants to have a grandpa, congratulations ya"

the happy news is not, it is appropriate that I congratulate you.

"yes, it should be. But this is an exception for my mother. Just like when my mom was pregnant I used to have to bedrest during pregnancy"

"can you do that, brother? " i'm still confused by Jo's words

"just ask your mom, maybe she knows.

Yesterday, the day before our departure to Singapore, my mother suddenly fainted. Long enough, the same Omah came home. It was taken to the IGD. Yes, yes, my mother was pregnant. We are entering the 2nd month.

There was a soft tone in every sentence. Several times it stopped, but still continued the story.

While I can only be a loyal listener, without trying to reproach every sentence.

Until it reaches the sentence

"it feels like a broken heart. I didn't want to, but my mom kept giving me motivation. Until finally I really hope, I have prepared some plans. The entrance test was completed well, even I was accepted at one of the best campuses there. I had imagined that someday I would return to this City with a DM degree, overseas graduates.

I didn't know I had to be happy or sad. All the preparations and delusions just crashed"

Huhu, so get carried away. This time I can really feel what it's like to be in Jo's position.

"it's just my wishful thinking. Man plans but God wills. Where can I refuse His will" brother Jo still continued his sentence

"your brother who is patient, God must have the best plan for each of His people"

I couldn't help but talk anymore

"yes, I know that. I just need time to give back all my hopes. At that time my heart was in a state of turmoil, but I didn't know who to share these feelings with. The same story most kids just say "patience, bro".

In front of my mom and dad, I definitely showed that I accept whatever their decision is.

Your number can't be reached, WA's not sent"

His hand touched my hair, but the view still remained straight into the pool.

I don't know what kind of position he wants over me. Lover, friend, or even brother. Which incidentally is indeed brother Jo grew up as an only child, from the same parents as an only child as well.

Loneliness, which certainly cannot be denied. It's just that men are more able to hide. Fascinated by all the achievements and activities he created himself.

At this time his words were no longer as flirtatious as before. And I feel more comfortable.

I myself also want to feel the guidance of a brother. Got that brother Gilang is super good. But because the distance does not allow us to meet often.

So feel guilty. Quickly a few times to think of brother Jo.

"sorry, brother, I'm so sorry" I spoke in a sad tone

"father, the important thing is to see you now"

"sometimes it does let our mind go ahead of the current state, it will only hurt ourselves. When reality does not match expectations, we must swallow a bitter pill. But rest assured, one day we will be healed. We must heal because we walk in reality, not just hope and desire.

All the disappointment process will lead us to maturity. Rest assured, big brother must have passed the test this time around.

After all, the disappointment of my brother has been replaced by something that is not less valuable. Isn't it no matter how far we go, in the end the best place back is family?!"

"yes, my sister knows that too. Hence, the elder brother accepted the decision to stay. Even if you should be there by yourself.

I'll have a brother. You don't know, it's like living in loneliness. In a deserted house. To Omah deserted, fitting a visit to Eyang also deserted."

It feels like the puk-puk legs Johan, pinjemin shoulders to lean, even thighs to fall. Unfortunately, not muhrim.

I so think, it might be the frenzy of brother Jo all this time to vent his form of loneliness. Because at home there is no sister or other brother who can be invited to be friends and hostile.

The chat session was finished as well.

This time replace brother Jo who asked me, about changing numbers.

The discussion is more relaxed, brother Jo heard my speech while tasting the snack I had prepared.

I was still telling my frustration, suddenly Brother Jo stood inside the house.

And come out with a glass in hand. I forgot to bring the drink too.

"the risk of being beautiful" commented Brother Jo as soon as he sat down.

"Thank you for being a good listener. Already Asar, I'm home huh. Thanks for the time, "it's so formal

"isn't it normal for you to stay to just hear your brother's joke?! "

brother Jo is ready with a bag on his shoulder.

"cementin sister to yok boutique, saying goodbye to your mama. I haven't seen Nahla either"

then I followed Brother Jo from behind, walking to the boutique.

Brother Jo said hello, talked for a while and then said goodbye.

Back I followed Jo's sister to get the car.

As soon as the car drove off the gate, I immediately closed the gate back.

Turns out Jo's car still hasn't left, even backwards again

"after this call me. GOTTA"

Oh my God, from earlier chat.why not ask for a number from earlier.

"ok"

the car drove away and disappeared from my vision.