IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Flashbacks

Thought it wasn't important, it was too late that my grade-level examination wasn't over.

But don't think about it. To be honest I can never forget. The first person to make an impact in my life. Started to enter SMP, until now. Will it continue for later??

I don't know what kind of impression that makes me never forget.

Before we went to school, we used to play together. Whether it's playing together at Melan's house, playing in the park meeting hall, playing when there are events together. We used to be close, because of the age of him who was above me 2th, he often called me "fuck". When I was a child I was taken care of by a nanny, because my mother was still completing her education as a designer.

Or rather the nanny was Melan's aunt.

There's not much else I can remember. Everything has changed since we entered school. My parents who prefer to send me to Negri School, while his parents who prefer Islamic School.

I remember once, I said I wanted to go to school with him. We'll go to school together, go together. Home together. Play at home together, we live in one house. Nooo.. bbrrruukk!!

I cover my face with a pillow.

No idea, I was put in a different school. His name is also children, where there is an instinct to apply the will, the important thing is there are many toys there.

Especially when Melan was with me, because mama melan was also working, so leave Melan on the tantenya too.

Since then we rarely met, because my school was close to my grandmother's house, so I went home to my grandmother first. The afternoon after papa or mama came home, we were picked up.

While still a baby, every mother leaving for campus is always entrusted to the grandmother's house.

Time just went by, once in a while we met when there was an event at the mosque, but he no longer looked friendly.

Maybe also our memory of the chat at that time has disappeared because we have the same found new friends.

Friends new friends in Madrasah and I'm friends new friends in Kindergarten.

Our meeting was only a fleeting glimpse, until then we were together at Melan's house....he still asked if I would later enter the Madrasah? I just said "don't know"

Until finally I heard the news that he had entered the boarding school.

The longer it will not meet, and the brighter it will be, the farther the distance between us. It seems we no longer know each other.

I think he started, that time accidentally met at Melan's house, once I came suddenly he said goodbye.

Then again repeated during the event at the mosque, I went with Papa at that time, he also followed his ashes. As soon as I came with Papa, he immediately ran into the house. Because the house he is still a scope with the mosque, understand.

From there, I have not waged the fire of war. Not yet aware of hostility. Even if he leaves, I still smile at him. Calling him sometimes if you accidentally meet. But there was never any response.

Until finally I entered the Junior High School, I started in the data to become a member of the Teen Mosque. When there was an event, he happened to be at home. I tried to say hello when he came out of the house, he waved his hand. But apparently, he passed me while grabbing my shoulder. Passed by, and turned out to approach the figure of the woman behind me.

I looked back, "owh" I muttered.

Then I continued the task that was shared with me without thinking anything.

As I walked towards the stage, I passed through a crowd of boys. At first glance I heard "ituloooh. her boyfriend Dian"

Like being struck by lightning. Ooh, so it looks. I was completely erased from her memory. Even to return my smile also my greeting was reluctant.

What that feeling is, I don't know. It just feels sad.

Then I continued my work, not until the event was over I decided to go home first. Though the event was deliberately held on Sunday night when the next school holiday. But it feels like my feelings have gone awry, not wanting to see him again.

But after that, why do the goods often come, with the sender's initials he but use the delivery on behalf of the store. Wouldn't want me to take it, pity the courier. Mom asked too.

At first I thought I could surprise who, even though I did not shop online.

It turns out that the next month comes again, and every month so comes, but in different weeks.

Sometimes accompanied by the phrase "may you like. I like you"

I squeeze the paper, throw it in the trash. Not a prized item anyway, just acc girls. His name is also still a child, want to get money from where try.

The next few months were accompanied by letters, 1 binder paper, full.

Well, expression of feelings.

But what kind of feeling is that. IT SUCKS! I threw it in the trash immediately.

Until the next letter came, this time was different. Full Arabic writing. Where can I read???

kulipat. I slipped them between the books.

Until finally I forgot, and then it was revealed when I was in 3SMP class. Astaghfirullah, pat eid ~~~~

at that time, the letter came right after I wanted the 1SMP grade examination.

And stupidly again, the letter was tucked in the notebook that I was taking to the meeting of the Masjid Teen. Because the book usually runs out, so I take the original book. You could say it's a collection book, I like to collect books that cover funny.

Then the paper fell right in front of Zia's ustadzah. Maybe he was just checking what paper was, at first glance he was then given again to me

"it's yours" in a cold voice.

Did he see the name marked there? I think I'm a little worried. Nothing happened, but it just passed.

At that time I was also an initiative to ask for help to be read to the senior brother who graduated from boarding school as well. But do not forget, the name marked there I torn first. And still the same, the content of the expression of feelings, but this time pitched more pleading, hemmppp!

if you hate hate, you don't have to be pretentious about love. Feels in play!

A sissy isn't that?

how dare behind it, so samperin.. I return the goods he sent, no talk whatsoever, pursue the cake just say SORRY.

"HUUHHHHH SUCKS" I cried in my heart as I remes-remes the pillow.

"what the hell would he want?! " really upsetting, mind-seeking.

Too deep to give an impression on this feeling.

I wrote the clock, it was late. While my study today was completely chaotic, nothing stuck in the brain in the slightest.

Finally I wake up to the bathroom, ablution..night prayers (karna has been praying isyak), wudhu,

want to cry even tears can not come out, only tightness in the chest. After pouring out on the very rethinking of my heart, my feelings were calmer. And I'm going to bed soon, meaning I have to get up at dawn tomorrow to get back to study.