IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Kayra's heart

Since the return of my friends I have not been out of the room. That means I haven't met my mom.

Whether you tell me or not, I feel too embarrassed to meet you too papa. I am ashamed of myself who has done nothing wrong, to the point of having to experience something bad like this.

I kept correcting myself, trying to remember what I had done to the man. A man who is always taken care of by his mother. Even I, who never touched him, had to take a blow. It won't be long on this cheek, but what about the marks on my heart?

I don't even know how deep the wound in my heart is because of one man's name, Rahardian.

Wounds that never end. Isn't that happy and that wound is indeed a package?

Can I still be happy after so many injuries?

I really want to disappear from this life.

Would it be better if I no longer knew Dian and her entire family?

Should I leave this place?

A lot of things go through my mind, a lot of things I ask in a long prostration. Even if I knew, I wouldn't get an answer. Even if I knew I shouldn't question God's destiny. Unfortunately I'm not that strong.

Insults, slaps to threats.

It all makes me feel so bad. I should never have heard all of Dian's sweet words, I shouldn't have heard all of Dian's promises. I shouldn't have to put my pity on Dian. If only I could plunge myself into pain. I should have known that.

But my mind is weak, when the heart has spoken.

God, forgive me. I should never have given this heart to anyone. With any promise.

Maybe I'm the only one too stupid. So for the umpteenth time I got hurt because of Dian.

kleekk

the door opened and someone's footsteps approached me. While I who still survive in a long prostration accompanied by sobs are no longer able to hide.

"mama" I said in my heart as my mother's hand began to reach my shoulder

"son, let's get up. Tell my mom" said mama softly while stroking my shoulder

even now I can no longer hide my shame. Already bruised cheeks, puffy eyes, nose splotches with snot. What else can I hide from my mom.

"ma, hiiikksss" could not say anything, I immediately hugged my mother tightly. The only shoulder I can use to lean on

"hiksss, hikss, hiksss" I'm still crying

My mother understands my feelings right now. There are no questions that Mom asked. Just hugged me tightly. Then I got to stand up and sit on the bed.

"everyone will be tested to make himself strong. Those who are resilient do not mean never exposed to the storm. Instead they dare to hit every storm that comes.

Be assured dear, God will not test beyond the limits of His people.

The person to blame is not necessarily guilty. In the end, it will all look like a boy. As the Javanese saying Becik Ketitik Olo Ketoro.

You just have to be STRONG, to show that you're innocent"

"hikss, hikss, hikss, Kayra shy ma. Shame as papa, same mama" with all my strength trying to get the words out even though still stammering

"why should be ashamed dear, even this same papa mother has known you since you were born"

"Kayra is ashamed of ma, because it can only make mama and papa ashamed"

"mama knows, you're innocent. You don't have to be ashamed of the mistakes you didn't make"

kleekk

the sound of the door opening

"yes, it's okay"

"how's ma? " ask papa so close to me and mama. While I was still hiding my face in my mom's arms

"try baby, papa see? " papa slightly pulled my shoulder and everywhere took off his embrace

"astagfirullah son, until like this" said papa heram while continuing to stroke my bruised cheek marks

"has the medicine been applied? " mama asked

"yet ma, just in the compress just the same brother Jo"

"get the ma medicine" exclaimed papa to mama

"we eat first yes, later after eating we talk about this together.

It's been quite crying. Papa's son can be whiny, but must remain strong"

I am so grateful to be a part of this little family. Mom and Dad's love always calms me. It's her who made me always want to be their little princess.

Mama came back with the topical medicine, Slowly mama rubbed a bruise on my cheek

"pulp Kayra eat after this ma. We'll talk about this after we eat" Papa ordered and then left the room

After applying the medicine mama looking for wash lap and clean my face from the remnants of tears. Then help me comb my hair and tie it up.

"it's beautiful mama's boy, we eat ya"

"mom"

"why dear"

"thank you"

"thank you for what"

"had made Kayra part of this family"

"Either. Mama is equally grateful to have a daughter like a sister"

"mom"

"yes"

"Kayra wants to be my mom's little daughter"

"The children of mama and papa, will remain children at any time. Maintaining, advising and providing support has become an obligation.

But also never forget, sometimes time and circumstances require us to think and behave maturely.

Brother must stay strong, whatever happens mommy and papa will always be there"

mama's kiss landed on my forehead many times

"well, papa is just as good as waiting for us to eat"

Mom and I walked to the dinner table.

There's been papa and adek there but no joking. Adek who usually likes to be nosy and ask a lot of questions this time is just silent.

Then mom started the family dinner ritual by getting the first rice pangs for papa next for us, the kids.

The intimacy that I always see at the dinner table often makes me forget about all the problems that exist. Even though your appetite is not stable, but your cooking is too dear to miss.