IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Secret

Ustadz Amin POV

Apparently my age is getting older. Didn't feel the youngest, Dian suddenly asked permission to propose a girl.

We all know the girl very well. His house is just a few miles from our house. I've been hearing rumors about their closeness for a long time.

Even Ummi Dian showed great dislike for their closeness. Raw ummi Dian scolded the girl, cornered her, threatened. It was clearly alleged that the girl was the one who always teased Dian.

I don't forbid, but that doesn't mean I allow it either. Even though my second wife hated Dian's closeness to the girl. I was just trying to deal with it according to the facts.

Maybe here is my own guilty wife, too obsessed with a goal. To forget the value of truth. Submitting all the causes of Dian's failure in the boarding school to the girl. Merely to cover up her disappointment towards Dian. Because with the exit of Dian from the pesantren makes his ambition difficult to realize.

I've tried repeatedly to advise, but it still happens and happens. His obsession is still very high.

But this time I'm not going to let Dian sink into mom's obsession.

Maybe because all this time I closed the meeting about the truth, so that all that time Dian was always respectful and obedient to her ummi.

Vicky, Dian's sister. He's old enough to know what happened. But there I made a mistake. Instead of making her not tell her sister about their real mother, I always gave her whatever facilities she wanted. But in the end, it makes him his own personal self.

Not without reason, I did it all. This is merely my gratitude to my second wife. Who is none other than Dian's mother, who she knows is her real ummi.

Thank you for giving your breast milk to Dian. Because Dian was left dead by her late mother when she was not even 6mo. Shortly after giving birth her mother could no longer give ASI. Because of the illness he suffered. While Dian always vomits when given formula milk and other nutritious intake. His development was slow, his weight was always on the green line.

At that time there were relatives who suggested to find a nursing mother. Coincidentally there are relatives who have just given birth but unfortunately the baby died.

Without thinking long, only with the aim that Dian can grow well and can get ASI. It is enough for the sick mother, hopefully the baby remains healthy, because that is the main spirit of the late mother Dian to survive.

During Dian's mother's care, I handed Dian the baby to be cared for with my mother. Because the mother's house is closer to the mother's house. Accompanied by a baby sitter.

Then after the death of Dian's mother I returned to my homeland. With Vicky, who is almost five years old. Abah and Ummi still choose to live in Turkey. Because Dian's mother was buried there. Until finally he gradually abah and ummi decided to settle there.

Meanwhile, a few months before I returned, Dian's mother's husband died of illness.

Dian grows well and is also healthy during nurturing by her nursing mother.

Seeing the existing conditions, the family began to persuade and urge me to just marry Dian's mother. At first I refused, because I was not ready to bury the mass and replace it with a new one.

But on the other hand, with consideration for the sake of Dian as well Vicky, who was too small, still desperately needed the attention of a mother, I finally agreed to the advice of the family.

I proposed to Dian's mother. I also did not get a rejection. But there's a condition that I have to accept "never tell Dian that I'm just her mother".

And again only because of consideration 'for the sake of Dian' then I agree to that condition. Then we got married, even though we had a few times rejected from Vicky.

Until now, she did not know if the mother who had conceived her was dead. I felt so sinful that I even interrupted a child's prayer for his mother who had died.

As time went on, what I saw the affection of a connecting mother still could not be as sincere as a biological mother. Many things are demanded and burdened on Dian. Even to fulfill her goal, she is so obsessed with matching Dian with Kyai Munaf's granddaughter.

When he found out that actually pesantren X occupied by Dian at that time, led by Kyak Munaf is a hereditary pesantren inherited by the family of the late mother Dian. He felt entitled to that right by the name of Dian.

He even asked me to take over and lead the boarding school. But it's not possible. I firmly refuse.

At first I was asked to lead a pesantren. But I won't be able to be in there with all the memories of Dian's late mother. Too painful.

At the time of Dian's late mother was very ill and I chose to take her to Turkey. At that time he intended to hand over the leadership of the pesantren to me. But how could I let my wife fight on her own without me accompanying her. After what he struggled. Maintaining the pregnancy that God left in her womb by an unintentional process.

Actually, I have forbidden and asked to clean it while the fetus is still in the form of blood. But he is still very cool. "who knows the birth of bi girls later. Kan abi is very fond of girls" he said. I can't shake her to her feet.

Several times I saw him in pain, but when I asked him he didn't want to say anything. Until the seven-month-old fetus, his condition began to worsen.

With the age of the womb is still seven months, with the doctor forced to remove the baby. Thankfully, the caesarean section went well. The baby is healthy even if it is seven months old. And the mother is pretty good.

Actually, when you decided to take him to Turkey, you asked me to stay with the children and lead the boarding school.

After two months of breastfeeding Dian baby by staying in bed. Because the condition is still weak makes it have to bedrest. Until one day while breastfeeding your little one, suddenly his body twitched in a long time. Then the doctor came to check and gave some prescription drugs. But with the possibility, the conditions are not as good as before.

Sure enough, his condition is getting worse.

I chose to accompany him on medication by bringing along Vicky. Because Dian is still a baby so it is not possible to carry. I was forced to leave it to my mother by paying a babysitter to take care of her. Then the leadership of the pesantren was handed over to his half-brother, Kyai Munaf. Because that's the only brother I have.

Up to two years of treatment that runs in the end God loves him more. With the condition of the body that is no longer possible to survive, I sincerely let go of him. But it is still too difficult to bury our memories. It's too late to go back to the pesantren, that's where all our memories are stored.

It would be too painful if I went back to remembering the tragedy.

Inevitably I had to go back to discussing the thing I had been trying to bury. I don't want Dian to lose her happiness just because of her mother's obsession and ambition.

"i will not do anything that will hurt your feelings, by telling you the truth that we have buried so far. But I ask, don't make Dian a tool to realize your obsession and ambition"

"i'm not obsessed nor ambitious. But the pesantren was supposed to be Dian's right"

"if that's what it's supposed to be, then Dian should also know if you're just her mom"

"therefore, in order for Dian to remain ignorant, she must marry Kyai Munaf's granddaughter. That way he'll get his right back to lead the pesantren without knowing what we've been keeping secret all this time"

"NO! I'll never allow it. It's the same way you forced Dian to live with a woman he didn't love.

There is no rejection. No more negotiations. I just want to see Dian happy. Without inheriting the pesantren Dian will still be fulfilled needs. Because the legacy of Dian's late mother is not just the pesantren. Even if you forget, all the treasures and facilities that we use so far are relics of the late mother Dian!

BLESS DIAN OR YOU'LL LOSE"

After the conversation, I left the room. Don't want to hear any more refutation. Because to me, Dian's happiness is absolute.

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