IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Immaculacy

A few days after Maryam's wedding I didn't see Billal's ustadz at the boarding school. It turns out there's one thing I don't know about the Ustad Billal profession. It turned out that he became an Arabic spokesperson in the Keraton.

In addition to the lesson time is still campus hours, understand students like to skip too. Already do not like the ustadz, do not understand the material. Be inhibited, time is also willpower.

After being released for a few days, this time ustad Billal found me after the Asar prayer. Because this Sunday all day I'm not out of boarding school. There's material I have to prepare to fill up Monday's class tomorrow.

"Kayra, you can talk to me" I've been hunching. The direction of the conversation will not be far from what happened yesterday. And as usual I allowed ustad Billal to sit on the porch bench.

I turned off the laptop just after I had Billal sitting across from me.

I was still silent waiting for Ustad Billal to start the conversation. But nil, Ustad Billal never talk.

"sorry, what's wrong Ustad" I asked breaking the silence.

"want to talk about yesterday. Yesterday it felt too sudden and with a situation like that it made me stop thinking for a moment"

"please leave if there is still something you want to ask" there is not the slightest doubt, to worry or fear this time.

"so...your decision yesterday is it really mature?" ustad asked Billal back with an intimidating look.

"God willing, I've been steady with the decision yesterday" this time I reply to the eyes of Ustad Billal with decisiveness.

"regarding what made me make that decision, sorry I can't tell you all" I resumed my sentence before Ustad Billal again asked a lot of things.

"but I know without you saying.

There is someone who has filled your heart.

Dian, you have a bond of feeling"

Deg, what should I say? I don't forget if Ustadz Billal has more ability. But I can't go wrong talking. No need to know about my relationship with Dian.

"as we can know.

Don't you know more about a marriage, a marriage?" this time I return the question, so that I'm not the only one who feels judged.

"well, if only you'd like to hear more about marriage. From the point of view of the Qur'an, hadith, al kitab. "the sentence of Ustad Billal hangs.

"would you give me a one-time opportunity to explain more about marriage? Who knows, you can open up your feelings for me.

You haven't tried to get to know me more closely, have you?

If I talk about my own feelings, it feels too labile"

Why has this person not given up yet, O Allah, let alone this. My heart dag dig dug, confused what to say. It feels at PDKT in the same someone it is, ah NO.

"sorry ustad. But for now I still have a goal I want to pursue. I am not yet ready to be born to have a marriage. And again I don't have much time to try to get to know ustad any further"

I can't be less strict with Ustad Billal. I don't want anyone to shake my heart.

"Although about my feelings and Dian's, it happened naturally a long time ago. Since childhood we knew each other. Not because I took the time to get to know him"

this time I re-emphasize that my relationship with Dian is not instant. I don't want ustad Billal to say anything about how I feel about Dian.

Perhaps religiously, Billal is much more understanding about marriage. But I don't want anyone to intimidate my feelings.

I feel too ordinary to be on par with Ustad Billal. Isn't that soul mate? Is not the soul a reflection of ourselves?

Before ustad Billal said at length by using the postulate in the Quran, which I certainly ➖ understand it. First I affirmed to him "sorry, absolutely not still not. I've made a decision and it's final"

"astagfirullah hal adzim. Yes-yes, sorry if I forced you too much. Maybe we are not yet a match.

After this you need not be afraid or awkward towards me. I don't matter. Again sorry if I scared you.

I say goodbye, assalamu'alaikum"

"waalaikumsalam warohmatulohi wabarakatuh"

Talking we're done. May this be the last conversation about my relationship with him.

I feel relieved. One heart is resolved. May the heart of Oustad Billal be as loud as the sentence he said. When is a broken hearted person? I laughed to myself in my heart.

The air this afternoon was cold, after the departure of ustad Billal I turned off the laptop and returned to the room.

"cie, who's out alone" Siska teases.

"three, same laptop" I replied

"four on the same table, five on the same chair" Siska continued his sentence jokingly.

"it's clear, one name is removed from the list" this time I spoke seriously, but out of nowhere.

"so, you mean... ustad Billal has been officially rejected? " Siska asked enthusiastically.

"yes that's it. He accepted that I refused to know and marry him"

"Waaah, what a pity for the broken heart 😭" Siska tightened her arms against the pillow while in a crying style.

"what the hell, Lebay. Udah ah, get ready soon adzan magrib" I switched the conversation.

"want to the neighbor mushola he means? " ask Siska.

"lha said, in front of the mosque. Why go to mushola" I replied.

"eh, kirain want a favorite samperin Rahardian, love the good news that if one rival he has lost" even joking again nih son.

"tau ah Siska. I didn't get off the bed either, I stayed" I said as I went to the bathroom for ablution.

"iya-iya, so bring Kayra anyway. Adhan is also new in I'm laying down"

My debate with Siska was over and we walked together towards the mosque.

__________________TBC________________

Hay, I'm sorry if this chapter is lacking. Author less talent so bad guy 😁

First work, forgive if there is a lot less

Drop support ok, don't forget to leave a trace

😍😍😍 for all readers