IF YOU ARE A FOOL

Colongan

I was tired all day with books. At least I'm relieved now that it's not purely the result of my mistake. Important people, you can find reasons to get help.

There are still a few minutes left before Adhan Isya in the scenery. Deliberately not going to work immediately after dinner last night. Because a tired mind will also not get good results. Maybe Isya we'll go back to dating books.

Right now I, Siska and Adek are sitting on the porch bench. Review a little about what is in SMA. And managed to make me also Siska miss that school. Just a year from the distance of our graduation, the school has undergone many changes according to adek.

"how about we propose Kay's reunion"

siska said on the sidelines of our conversation.

"may be that too. Try to share in the group, who knows a lot of fans" I responded.

"yes you donk, you are the former school star of OSIS as well" Siska said in a slightly mocking tone

"Later try to contact Indra" I can understand Siska's expression at this time, maybe he remembered the SMA mass that was not pleasant for him.

"eh deck, try to talk to your ketos. Who knows can help make the agenda" I spoke again before finally Adzan Isya in I see right.

There was a distinctive sound from a distance coming out from the mosque's hardeners.

I can tell you who's standing in front of the pulpit right now. I don't know how long my ears have been used to hearing that sound, why is it that this heart still rumbles when I hear it.

There is a little regret in the heart, all worldly problems should not make someone stay away from the mosque.

There is a longing for this little heart to return to the mosque. Makes me think of the things that made me choose to stay away from the environment there. Why is my worship only considered world affairs? Why, why, why?

The fact is that life is not always beautiful. The one who hates you will never want to know your reasons while the one who loves you does not need a reason to continue loving. The mother and son managed to make my feelings turn upside down.

After Siska finished praying I immediately went into the bathroom for ablution. Moving away from the bitterness of life, which I myself knew the later I got in my mind it would make me even more sick.

God always has an unpredictable plan. On the one hand there is a child who always convinces me to keep fighting closer, on the other hand there is a mother who always gives a warning to stay away.

I return all this turmoil to the one whose creator reminds me of how small this self is. I began to feel unable to think about all this. Every time I tried to correct my prejudice against him at the request of his son, every time my courage was crushed by his words.

Without feeling my tears fall and finally I drown my face on the prayer mat. I don't know why it feels like I want to cry, let go of all this tiredness.

Until Siska realized that I was prostrating for too long. He walked up to me and immediately woke me from prostration when he heard my sobs.

"Kayra why are you? why suddenly cry? it was suddenly daydreaming" said Siska with a question mark.

All this time I looked fine. Never told anyone about the mother or the child. Even to Dian though, even though he always asked to say whatever the umminya said. But, how could I possibly complain between mother and son.

Whenever there was a message of encouragement from Dian, every time it was also a message of dropping from someone. Even if I don't admit who it is, but I'm sure it won't be far from Zia's accomplices. And somehow my mind went to that girl.

Siska took me in her arms. This new friend is no less alert like Melan.

"you can cry until you are satisfied. But the promise after this should be the same story I. There's gotta be something"

siska said as she continued to rub my back.

"tomorrow yes. We finish the task first tonight" I said as I held back sobs

"sure to continue with the task. Later even the answer of your upset feelings again typed" Siska mocked

"no later, when are you here?" I said that made Siska immediately move onto the bed.

"owh, ngusir me nih his story" instead responded with a sewot tone

"ewh, that's not it. Fear will be sought after by your papa mama Sis. hadeh, has already dibambek first"

all they talk about is silence

"yes yes, it's up to you. Want to nginep sampe anytime here can. The origin of the risk on the passenger's responsibility"

still quiet, even playing mobile.

Finished tidying up my prayer equipment I laid my body beside Siska. I deliberately turned on the television so that no one would hear from outside the room. Then I started telling you all about Dian from the beginning. Long I told you, there is pressure after pressure on this heart when it comes back to remembering all the things about him.

"sometimes I wonder about Sis, I never had a special relationship with Dian. But why does it feel like I'm fixated and can't seem to get away from him?"

"that's because you put feelings on him"

"feelings of hate, anger, sebel.... "

"feelings of love. Whether you admit it or not but your little heart won't be able to lie Kay. That's why no matter how angry you are with him, your hatred is with him, you still forgive him"

Siska cut my sentence and her words this time kept me quiet. It was hard to digest his words.

Then I showed you the unpleasant messages from the number I marked 'Mak Lampir'

Siska read it while laughing.

"are you all right Sis? " as I continue to observe Siska's face

"this is mah, gokil Kay. It looks like a girl is expecting"

"meaning"

"the girl deliberately dropped you so you could retreat, because then she would be able to move forward. Bless all this time he's been in the same cuekin tuh guy"

"right time, gimna can know you? "

"you forgot, I'm an ex-bad guy"

"hempp"

I was confused as to what kind of comment.

"maybe her son didn't give her a chance, but her mother gave her hope"

i'm piggybacking.

"i'm really confused by the two sides of the mother and the child Sis. Why should I be neighbors too. So want to move house so far away from them"

"could be, could be" said Siska lightly.

"what can? "

"moving house"

"ih ngaco you. Can't be. I'm here at papa's mama's house, mama's business is also here"

"you yourself moved house"

"meaning? "

"ngekost cake"

while I can only glare at Siska's words. Never thought of this all along.

"seru seems to be a boarding boy yes. Kos aja yok let me cementin" said Siska lightly.

"ngaco. I never thought about it"

"you've never thought of her everywhere, at home kept your mind"

"what's your permission to do the cost? "

"hawh, you mama's son"

"mau ngekost, just keep on campus meet Dian. Want to ngekost, just keep the message can come at any time"

"why don't you tell Dian aj anyway"

"i think the girl has something to do with her Ummi. I feel so wrong, want to go back and forth wrong"

"block Kay, block the number"

"never been. Use a new number again. I never picked up the phone either, which is why I'm being cheered on"

"don't know it. Feelings are not everywhere you always have something disturbing"

"including you well"

answer me origin and it makes Siska throw me with a pillow.

Our conversation became unimportant tonight. Coming here still did not find a solution. Siska who heard my story was furious. I who live it feels reluctant. But God's destiny is unfolding, whether I face it or leave I think it will remain the same.

______________^_^_________________

Kayra was very patient

Thank you to those who are still faithful to follow Kayra's journey

don't forget to leave a trace

🥰🥰🥰😘