IF YOU ARE A FOOL

All Injured

Johan POVs

Do we not see our loved ones sick, we also feel the pain?

Until now, it is still imagined what Kayra anger when she left me. Her steps away with tears.

I realized, maybe I was the first one who dared to be rude to him.

I always try to keep him, I hurt him myself. What kind of love do I have!

If I can't make Kayra love me, let her hate me. I don't want to continue living at his mercy.

I understand very well, Kayra is a stubborn person when it comes to kindness. He is more concerned with others than himself.

Let her go with the love she's been looking for, baby it's not me.

And I don't have to be a shadow at every step.

"forgive sister Kayra. If in the end your love brother has to hurt you. Go, may you be happy with the love you've been looking for" I chatted with Kayra's photo sheet.

Yeah, all this time I've loved taking pictures of Kayra in secret. The walls of my room were filled with that sweet girl.

But that was before Kayra often entered my room. When I found out Kayra was coming here, I quickly took off one photo at a time and I put it in the box. And after this, maybe these photos will turn to ashes. With our fond memories, which must have disappeared from Kayra's memory.

Yesterday Kayra did not come here for a few days. Actually I really wanted to contact him, but my little heart held him back. I was too embarrassed to keep chasing him.

Then Nahla came with her parents.

Astagfirullah, I almost forgot Nahla so full of my head with the name Kayra.

This little girl was face-to-face eleven twelve with Kayra. But by nature, eleven twelve with me.

Nahla comes full of her cheerfulness and nosy demeanor. In his teenage years he still had no sense of jaim. Or maybe it only happens with me?

In the end I got carried away with her mood.

Joking, playing and chatting with Nahla made me forget about Kayra for a moment.

Then Nahla, by the way, started asking me a lot of questions about the sensitive stuff that had made me almost frustrated these few weeks.

"mama always thought I was a little boy, who couldn't possibly help my sister to get excited again. Even though I am a prospective doctor, I have to learn a lot so that it will be easy to handle patients" he said.

I don't know why I laughed when I heard Nahla. He also wanted to be considered an adult.

That's where we ended up talking. I told you a lot about Kayra, which Nahla knew a long time ago. From the beginning I liked her sister, she knew.

I'm always comfortable talking to Nahla. I don't know why the words just flow. Is it possible because we have the same nature?

Nahla also tells a lot about Kayra, Kayra's journey with Dian which is full of struggle, drama and also suffering. But if in the end being with Dian was Kayra's choice, what could I do.

It is precisely the advice of Nahla that can make my heart open. And my brain started thinking right back. Until I finally decided to end all this pain.

Maybe the way I mistreated Kayra was like that, but I had no choice. Just by making her hate me, then I will no longer be a shadow in her journey of love.

Rahardian POV

I don't know what's going on with my feelings right now. Since morning it has been pounding. And my memory was always on Kayra. Is this the bucin virus??? thought me.

From morning there was no message from Kayra, but I knew her schedule every day. So I understand, maybe he hasn't had the time to tell.

While I myself this morning busy with activities in the village office.

Until the break there is no chatt also from Kayra. I couldn't stand it, I finally called Kayra.

A little long phone ringing rang, thank God answered as well. Unfortunately it's not the cheerful tone I hear. Except the sobbing that got as much as it pleased. What the hell's going on?

My mind is no longer dead. It was only right from the morning that I felt bad, and my thoughts were fixed on Kayra continuously.

Actually the event at the Village Office is still until the afternoon. But I asked permission to go home first. At that time I asked Kayra to send the location of her whereabouts.

As soon as the location message entered my phone, I immediately put on a jacket and rode the motorcycle at what speed. All I have in mind is to get to where Kayra is.

The location pointed to a cafe, but I didn't see Kayra's car parked there.

But I didn't just leave, I got off the bike and entered the cafe. For a moment I spread my eyes across the room. I didn't find it either.

But I saw a paper bag on the table. I'm sure it belongs to Kayra, I often see her carrying that paper bag. Then I approached the table, the closer I could see there was an initial of Kayra's name there. I quickly approached the booking desk and asked where Kayra was.

It turned out that he was going to the mosque, with quick steps I crossed the street. Without hesitation I entered the mosque towards the women's prayer room.

My heart is relieved to see Kayra inside. But also my heart was slashed, seeing Kayra crying in the arms of Ustadz Billal.

Didn't Kayra say there was no connection with Ustadz Billal?

For the second time I felt my heart ache. Even this time I looked directly at it with my own eyes. Is this what you call jealousy? I felt the same way as before, when I saw Vidio Kayra who was chatting full of laughter with a guy.

I feel like my feet are stiff. My heart is frozen.

Trying to hold back the feeling, there's no way I'm shedding tears, here.

It was not anger that enveloped me this time. Except for the sense of defeat. Because I wasn't the first one to hug Kayra when she got hurt. How useless I am.

Kayra should not answer my question, is it because there is already a Billal ustadz hugging her? But why is he still sending out locations like I told you to?

What kind of surprise is this?

Slowly I stepped back. But before I left, I couldn't stand Kayra's embrace with Ustadz Billal overshadowing my steps.

"apparently someone came first" I want Kayra to know, if I really came.

Sure enough, their embrace instantly slipped away. And Kayra looked at me with a surprised face. While I was no less surprised, seeing Kayra's eyes that had been like a bee bite. Livid.

What happened to Kayra? I really want to ask that.

Unfortunately my arrival is no longer important at this time, because there are already others who become Kayra's leaning place.

"i'm gone" I decided to go, even before Kayra said anything.

My heart is fucked. I don't know what happened to me. Where's the faith I've been building all this time?

The belief that Kayra will never turn away.

My faith is collapsing. The pain is deep. The love I had built up all this time was shattered in an instant.

Is this what Johan feels like? Losing in love is not only disappointing, but also painful.

My heart feels small if I have to compete with Ustadz Billal. I'm quite self-aware, I'm nothing compared to ustadz Billal. He is clearly more everything than me.

In his heart the feeling of alhamdulillah can still hear the sound of the chanting of the ashar.

I stopped at the nearest mosque. May the cold water cool my heart. To whom else can I complain, but to my Lord. Even my own mother never wanted to understand my heart.

I feel alone again. And again I can only complain to God.

________________^_^_____________

😀 smile first donkkkkkk. Do not follow along with it.

All will be fine, his spirit injections do not forget 😍😍

The ones who stopped by left a trail, okay.

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