IF YOU ARE A FOOL

It's Falling Down the Stairs

Crying is the first escape to vent all these feelings.

Never did I expect, my sacrifice all this time actually got this kind of humiliation.

I was harassed, by people I prioritized no matter how narrow my time.

I was abused, by the man I helped with all my body.

I was harassed, by the person I had always considered my guardian angel.

Brother Jo, why should Brother Jo hurt me this sick?

Why would he do this to me? How much I trust him, how much I care about him. How I feel guilty for what happened to him.

Should this be the reply I get, right?

My hands shake, my heart rumbles.

Never say if this is part of a broken heart, depression or something!

For sure I will never tolerate it this time.

I cried, I don't know how long. My tears started to dry up, only a sound was heard. The tightness in the chest has not gone away.

I took a deep heart, took a deep breath and let out. So for a few times.

There is a lot of energy wasted in crying. And now that I feel weak, I'm not sure I can drive a car all the way to the boarding school.

I finally ordered an online taxi to take me to a nearby cafe. Besides needing a moodbooster, it's also time for lunch, stomach dwellers began to scream.

Ojol driver came, I quickly put on my helmet and left. Leave the car and park on the side of the road. Masa bodo, say aja again strike if anyone asks, I thought.

While waiting for the order to come I called Siska's number many times, but there was no answer. My message was not answered either. Maybe he has class.

EMPTY, my mind is currently empty.

Looking far to the end of the road, which looks like a shadow when brother Jo touched my face so close.

My daydreams are spoiled when there's an incoming call, Dian.

"hay, yeah" With a stuck stuffing, I tried to open my mouth. Unfortunately, my voice was barely heard. Let alone to answer greetings, to say 'yes' is so difficult.

"Kayra why are you? You all right? The feeling I'm fidgeting all the time, on your mind"

speechless, it was my tears that fell.

"Kayra you again where, share the location yes I went there"

it was too heavy to say, it was definitely just the sobs that Dian heard.

"Cayras.. Kayra. Share the location now, I'm going straight there"

Call disconnected.

What else can I do, other than follow Dian's orders. Share my current location.

The drink I ordered has arrived.

Just realized that I have not prayed dzuhur. I saw the watch and there was still time for the dzuhur prayer.

It just so happened that across the street there was a mosque, so I left my desk for a while while waiting for the food order to be finished.

My tears mixed with the water. It feels cold sweeping some of the body. But in the chest still feels so tight.

In there is no one. There were only the voices of a few people from within the secretariat room.

Finish my prayer spill all the pain in this heart. Crying, crying and crying. I don't know how loud my crying sounds, until someone comes up to me.

"dek... deck.... is it okay? " i looked up at once.

A few seconds our eyes met. This is how narrow the world is, until it must be met accidentally.

"Kayra, what's wrong with you? " maybe ustadz Billal was also surprised to see someone it was me.

I don't know what happened to my cerebellum, my mouth was so hard to move.

Seeing my face so messy with puffy eyes that I could barely see. So long as I cry.

Ustadz Billal hugged me and I didn't refuse. Until some time until I could control my crying, Ustadz Billal let go of his hand.

"apparently someone has come first" again a voice heard from someone from the door of the mosque.

Dian, when was he there?

"i've left" came uninvited, returned home uninterrupted.

Was he there when Ustadz Billal hugged me earlier?

Oh God, what a test today. It feels like just crying I can't afford it. But tears just fell.

Dian should be the one who can stop these tears, but what?

Instead, he added to the tears that spilled.

Why, why must it be Ustadz Billal that God sent to embrace me?

But for now I have no power to resist.

"already, you calm down first" ustadz Billal still held my shoulder.

"in. dian" I said stammered.

"he just misunderstood, later I will help talk" said Ustadz Billal softly.

"are you alone? where's your car? "

"i ordered food at the cafe in front of ustad" my small brain has started to function even though sometimes it still comes out as much as sobs.

"maybe I'll be with you, maybe you can tell a little story if you want"

Ustadz Billal way first and we died the mosque crossed the road to the cafe.

When I got there, all the food I ordered was on the table. If people look maybe this much dish for a small family. I was the only one who ordered. Either out or not.

"this much, you invite a lot of friends? " ustadz Billal wonder.

I shake my head.

"ustadz order a drink" then I head to the sink to wash my hands.

Next I have eaten some menus, without any hesitation in ustadz Billal. Maybe because we're used to eating one table. Even though I never really ate that much at the pesantren.

Well, so caught will be greedy 🤣🤣🤣

EGP

"I'm sorry I can't tell you what happened to ustadz. But I want to ask for help if I can" right, if the stomach full heart more calm. While waiting for ustadz Billal to finish the meal I started the conversation again.

"let's say it" he said briefly.

"i left my car by the road not far from here. Can I have a hand to take you there? "

"your car broke down?"

"no"

"then why be left behind"

"so I was too emotional until I didn't have the energy to bring my own car" could be ustadz Billal thought if I was too unstable.

"ok, I'll take you to the car"

Last dish, oreo chocolate pudding. People say, chocolate-brown food can be a moodbooster when the heart is in a mess.

Dinner's done.

Had gone to the sink to wash hands, so back even brought some chocolate bars in hand.

"this is for you" Ustadz Billal thrust all the chocolate into me.

"a lot of ustadz?"

"yes, it was paid at the cashier there was no change" Ustad Billal joked or how the hell? auto mode it's 🤔

________________^_^______________

Stop crying Kayra, pity the readers who read while following the cry 😭😭😭

anyone follow the baper?? hayyo ngaku

Sure enough, the storm will pass. There will be a sun after the rain.

And hopefully there are traces left behind after this chapter comes out 🤲

LIKE, VOTE, COMMENTS, GIFTS, whatever.

may the readers of Kayra on kindly well 😍😍😍

Thank you still faithfully follow up to this chapter 🥰🥰🥰