IF YOU ARE A FOOL

A wounded heart - 4

Rahardian POV

This is the umpteenth time wound that Kayra experienced because of me. Yes, I always made her heart hurt but still forced to apologize from her. I don't know this time if I'll ever get back to being sorry. Even my own sister who became Kayra's best friend since childhood also blamed me for this incident. I was the one who completely neglected to keep my promise to take care of her.

Melan who yesterday helped me to get an apology from Kayra, this time no longer want to help. Aunt Fifi spoke this time.

Advice I never got from a mother. All Ummi knows is telling me to follow his will. Actually I also miss a mother's embrace. Maybe Umi's disappointment with me makes a mother's affection for her child disappear. So that there is only the ambition of a mother over her child.

I know Kayra's just a victim here. Victim of my and ummi ambitions. My ambition is to stay close to him, while my ummi ambition is to keep me away from him.

If the apology is enough to treat all the pain of his heart, I will say it even though I have to repeat it until my mouth can no longer say.

I leaned my body on a long stretch. Who else can I go to when my heart breaks like this. I tried hard to face my ummi ambitions, but I wasn't strong enough to accept my own disappointment. Unfortunately, I was destined to stand on this storyline.

I can't choose what kind of mother I was born with, but I might want to choose a soul mate to accompany my parents later.

Aunt Fifi's words loomed in my head. Indeed, Allah has prepared the soul mate of death and fortune long before man is born. All of this will not be changed. The match will be found at the right time.

If I continue to approach Kayra, the ummi will hate Kayra even more.

But is this heart ready for Iklas to release all about him?

Remembering me who has never been separated from the knowledge of Kayra. Until all sorts of attempts I made. And getting out of the pesantren was the biggest effort so I could get back close to Kayra.

But if all this makes Kayra even more hurt, is my sacrifice in vain?

Was I guilty, to make a very big anger at the ummi self.

Would it also be good, if my heart and mind were not in one place?

If Ummi wanted to ask for my opinion just a little. If only I wanted to know about myself.

My tears spilled, I was always a whiny man when I met my rabb to complain about my life.

But after that my heart became calmer even though I could not answer anything.

I grabbed the phone lying on the table. Tried to contact Kayra but the results were in vain. I can understand if he's really angry this time. Even if his family could not accept this could have been taken to the legal path due to a case of violence.

I switched on Whatsapp messages, there was an outgoing message 20 minutes ago but it's been deleted. That means, when I was at Aunt Fifi's house. Who sent the message?

there are only Ummis at home

"ummi, ummi" I searched ummi's room. Because it hasn't been seen since I got home from Aunt Fifi's house.

It was empty, and the kitchen was empty.

Where are the nights like this, I thought. Finally I found ummi in the back garden taking care of her life's pharmacy plant.

"why Dian" Ummi replied as soon as I found her.

"ummi, why is it still gardening tonight?"

"Ummi did anyone enter Dian's room earlier when Dian wasn't home? " for not getting an answer from ummi so I immediately asked

"no one" replied Ummi briefly by continuing to work on his activities

"does that mean ummi, who wears Dian's phone? "

"Ummi will have his own phone, why use yours"

"you said what Dian. Why do ummi have a number of children do not know themselves"

"ummi enough. Don't call Kayra that! It's enough to keep blaming Kayra"

"you dare speak loudly to ummi just for defending that child Dian"

"ummi the outrageous. What did you do to Kayra when you met her at the store? "

"do what, nothing"

"ummi STOP! Stop pretending you don't know"

"owh, apparently he's been complaining to you. I don't have a mama's threat"

"threat, what threat ummi? that means it was Ummi who sent a message to Kayra using Dian's phone?!

Look at Dian ummi"

"you're like there's no more woman to approach"

"Kayra is good ummi. Exceptionally well.

It's Dian said it wasn't Kayra who asked Dian to come home often. It wasn't Kayra who asked Dian to quit the boarding school. It wasn't Kayra who approached Dian, but Dian who couldn't be far from Kayra.

Did ummi hear Dian?

Is Dian really an ummi child?

Is Dian not that much more important than those plants ummi? "

"this plant always gives results to ummi While you, you just disappoint ummi"

Then ummi went to wash her hands and left me alone in the garden behind the house.

That is how much I give disappointment to Ummi until I am not at all ignored as his son. Didn't you know that my sister didn't finish her studies either. But ummi still supports him, facilitates, buys whatever he asks. While I was, what I had asked for.

Asking to be understood seems too difficult.

_____________^_^____________

where else to get protection, Dian?

should they not be together?

hemp, listen to the parents' advice for a while. If the soul mate is also not going anywhere.

Sorry sorry and sorry, Kayra and Dian have not been able to show up every day. Work in the real world is heavy, afraid of SP 😄

thank you very much for the faithful ones who stopped by 😍

leave a trace let the spirit keep up

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