A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED
A LOVE THAT CANNOT BE HAD
Our cries began to subside even though all the feelings were still turbulent in the chest.
" carry me the kemakamnya" I said suddenly.
" now??"
" yes, but I have to say goodbye to Mom"
" well, brother"
so I immediately rushed to see my mother without telling the truth.I was willing to find a source for my script, that's the reason I was on my mother.although mommy had noticed my eyes were a little swollen.
I rode my four-wheeler, and I picked up the cania at the promised place, and soon we met and left together.
on our way to irrit talk. various thoughts raging in the chest. I am sad I was hurt I languish. and now there will be no more cure. I am a virgin of love who only expects love Rama . and now it's gone. I'm as if I'm being shown, I'm like I'm lost without direction.
" brother Meisya must be strong,,, !!" kania said on the trip.
" i can no longer think, I feel dazed, I feel like I'm in a world either real or virtual"
" sister should know brother Rama loves you so much. Brother Rama will be happy if brother is happy.and ka Rama will be sadder if brother like this!!"
" is this the meaning of those dreams?? in my dreams I always met with Rama but he always said he wanted to say goodbye to me" I said as I tearfully.
after a long journey, for many hours, we finally reached where Rama used to live. Kania offered to stop by her house first but I refused and wanted to go straight to her grave.
There, at the place Kania showed me. A gravestone read Rama mahendra immediately stole my gaze. I immediately approached him. for a moment I was stunned in front of him and immediately I collapsed beside him. I cried so much!!!. I screamed to call her name.
" why are you being mean to me!!!! I was waiting for you but you left me!! didn't you always ask me to wait for you??? why are you leaving me alone now??" my screams while hugging the mound of land that is now flat.
" do you know, I still love you as I used to. Look at my eyes, my gaze still wavers for you, my longing is still awake for you,, my face is still blushing every time I remember the sweetness of some of our love. please look at me my beloved. I beg you I am here .. I have returned. Get up. It is me, I, who always keep your love,,,, I,,, I always miss your smile I always crave your gaze, I beg you....don't do this!!!! " i said as I gradually hugged his headstone.I cried as much as I could. I didn't care where Kania went. I didn't care about my clothes full of dirt. all I know is that I mourn his passing.
" i'm sorry my love of my heart. because I hurt you, your suffering is clearly on me. I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean it this way. I was wrong to give you endless suffering. may you calm down there.I mengikhlaskan you.I gave up your departure even though this is very heavy for me. Maybe this is karma because I left you first" I said while continuing to stroke his headstone.
" you're not wrong!!! don't blame yourself too much! " says someone who has not been here since when I witnessed my pain.
" get up, boy!! pity him !! he had suffered too much in the world.let him be calm in the present" he said again while embracing me to wake me up. But I refused him. now he had completely aged with regretful eyes.but this was already too late!!!.
" excuse me. You are suffering because of mother" so he said, but I do not want to answer him. I immediately stood up to let him behind him stand kania. I passed without heeding his existence. I went to bring all the suffering of love that cannot be had. Now this love is truly unattainable.
