A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED

START TO BREAK HEARTS

When the time came home, I was still like that even though I was entertained by my classmates. Now I no longer control my heart.it feels like every happiness that has been found is gone today.I am still empty like a kite that broke from the thread , floating somewhere. this leg seems to carry a burden that is so heavy that it is very difficult to move.

" Yes...Shah...Vijaya Meusya!!!" lulu shouted until I was surprised

" Luluuuu.do not be hard - hard my ears hurt"

" called call from earlier do not say. do not be dumbed down. let's go home"

" alright" I answered almost inaudibly to Lulu.

we also came out of the classroom when passing through the ceremonial field suddenly there was someone talking from behind.

" happy that can be sent poetry, very romantic yes he" said he as if he was insinuating me. I and Lulu immediately turned to the back. turned out he was. he who has always been a figure in my mind.he who has made my heart full of longing. Rama he seemed to be waiting for me. Like the days before. Lulu turned to me she signaled that she was going home first.It was as if she was giving me time to finish everything with Rama.

" what poem??" ask me after lulu passes.

" who is he?? I think there are others who secretly like you yes yes" he continues to insinuate me.

" how..are you happy ?? you're flattered maybe" he said again a little cynical.

" sure not care.when you read it you are so happy" he said again still with a satirical tone.

" jeez Ramaaa, I was happy because I thought you wrote the poem" I cried in my heart.

" why are you so angry Ram?? what's my fault?" I dared to say that to Rama.

" who is angry.???. instead I like there are people who like you. as your friend, it is appropriate that I am happy" he replied

" you are evil Rama..you are like me!!!" I said almost teary-eyed.it felt so happy this heart.this is the first time this cruel Rama has spoken to me. This sesin spoke to me. where Rama who has been speaking softly to me all this time, Rama, who has been speaking softly to me,,looking at me I gave a smile that made my heart tremble.

" Rama..kamu ituuu.."" I dare not say it. whereas I would like to say that he is not just a friend to me. that I wish the poem was from him . but still this mouth feels too naive indeed but I will not express my heart to Rama before he first tells me.

" yes I know. I am just your friend.that is what you always say to our friends" he said again without looking at me.

" safe ya.. later if you already know who the sender told me" he said as he stuck out his hand congratulating. I grabbed the hand. does not mean I received congratulations from him. I just wanted to hold his hand and not let go. I wanted to calm my heart when my hand was held. But whatever power he immediately let go of his grasp and passed away leaving me. I can't believe this. he left me alone without looking at me again.

" Rama...Ram...Why did you leave me???" I shouted at him, he kept walking away from me.