A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED

CAN'T LIE

Now my day is getting gray.I try hard while being with Lulu and my parents. Irfan has now started to move away from my life.Our relationship is not necessarily the direction to be taken where.Our status still hangs without knowing until when.As for Rama I try to avoid it. every time our gaze met I immediately threw it out. I don't know if Rama knew his mother came to me or not. he often accidentally passed my desk but I didn't seem to see it. he often greeted me but I just smiled at him. I deliberately went to school a little afternoon just want to avoid Irfan and Rama. Likewise when the time came home I immediately darted away sometimes without Lulu. I do not accept tlp from anyone. Often Rama deliberately called my house pura - pura was busy or was not there.

" why is everything so messed up" asked Lulu

" you mean?"

" you used to want to avoid Irfan even want to escape from the bond with him just to be with Rama. Now Irfan has started to stay away you even ignore Rama. actually what are your plans?"

" i want to be alone"

" really?? don't you wish you could be with Rama?"

" i don't know what I know right now I'm tired of everything"

" yes I forgot something, who was the mother who was looking for you??"

" his mother Rama" I answered honestly.

" really??? what are you guys talking about??"

" no, he just wants to know which one Meisya is"

" just really that?" Lulu was still curious.I nodded lethargicly.

" should I say all the same lulu??" my question is in my heart.

I just took a deep breath in hope that all that was a burden in my heart would soon disappear.

" dong's story is with me, promise I won't tell you anything else"

" i know"

" let's tell me. I know you're thinking a lot even though I don't know what you're thinking"

" you are also aware" he said smilingly comforting me.

I let go of my gaze in all directions without knowing what I was looking at. I was stuck in a situation of doubt and confusion that was rampant. Maybe this is the end of the story with Rama. I think I have not let it go. but I still have to let it go.

" Yes... don't be dumb!!!!"

" Lu.. Rama's mother forbade us to be together"

" really?? what reason?" lulu looks very surprised.

" the point ... he does not want Rama to have a love relationship with anyone before he reaches his ideals"

" your alamaaak is just a courtship not to be married right now"

" but his mother did not want Rama trapped in this love, he saw our feelings only as monkey love "

" it's cruel to him, does Rama know you met his mother??"

" it doesn't seem to"

" did you tell him you weren't in a relationship even though you loved each other?"

" i said it. He said that even though there was no bond but he knew Rama's feelings for me and I couldn't respond to it. I had to ignore it"

" he's so mean, maybe because of that rule that he never told you how he felt"

" yes, Kania said it to me. He didn't say it, he didn't love me, but he obeyed his mother's rules"

" it turns out there are parents like that"

" he's not wrong. he just wants his son to succeed.that's normal.I understand what he thinks and worries about" I replied to Lulu.