A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED

REASONS

" what exactly is the reason for him? "

" he's a very obedient child" said kania. he returned pensive.

" we overburdened her. My mother always forbade her to have a lover.Even when she fell in love with you she was afraid that mom would find out. at first he never told me because he was afraid you didn't love him and then he was afraid that if you became a lover you'd be disappointed in him"

" is that really the reason?"

" yes that's the real reason.it's trivial but for brother Rama the mother figure is everything to him,, he has great respect for whatever the rules of the mother. I know that Meisya's sister she cried for my blessing to love you"

" really??" I was really surprised to hear that.

" yes. he loves you very much. I know even when at home he was nice - fine when in his heart he kept the pain and distress.I as his sister feel very concerned"

" why even like this?? why did your mother forbid she loved someone?"

" mother's concerns are the same as other mothers.You may also know that our father is gone. Mother wants brother Rama to keep us up at any time. mother wants kak rama to be a successful child so that later he can be a protector of mother and also I. mother worried if brother Rama began to romance then he will ignore his lessons, he will ignore his lessons, ignoring his thoughts and ignoring my mother and me."

" i respect your mother's decision"

" i once told Brother Rama to love you without the knowledge of mother.again he did not want to make mother disappointed, he did not want to lie to mother even for the sake of her happiness."

" i'm sorry, because I'm your brother who has to feel that way"

" yes.. I was waiting for him .. I was expecting his love too much. if he thought I didn't love him it's a big mistake.I've been in love with him since when" I confessed to Kania. sadness then covers me. I feel guilty for her.If I knew the reason she hung my love maybe I would be patient waiting for her. I would not try to open my heart to Irfan. suppose that time I knew the reason I would remain with him though without certainty.

" now what should I do ?"

" you're sick my brother is also sick with your love made complicated.if I might I would have a silent love - silence . would have fought for the feeling of at least being together even without the status of a lover"

" your brother who initially turned away from me, ignored me let me open my heart to others"

" that was his fault.he was too naive .he was too cowardly . to say even so hard love.to weigh too much what was going to happen in the future"

" now beside me was Irfan who had given me attention, making me try to rise from the pain of love without certainty"

" sister Irfan is not a coward like my sister.maybe if you are not forbidden by mother he will do it like brother Irfan"

" brother Rama thought that even though he did not say he loved you, perhaps with all his attention, his attitude towards Brother Meisya, brother Meisya would understand that he loved you"

" maybe it's because I was too stupid and expected him to tell me his feelings" I said regretfully.

" can I get your full address?"

then Kania gave karyu his name.