A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED

IRFAN'S HAPPINESS

" what do you mean Shay.." asked Irfan still astonished.

" you're so good Fan"

" continue???"

" i'm not worth your kindness.I can't make you happy.I always disappoint you" I said out loud.

" i'm happy Meisya.. very happy!!!"

" you lied to Fan.I realized you always covered your disappointment with me by pretending you were happy with me"

" no Meisya. I am happy with you. I am happy to be your lover even though I know you are not as happy as I am"

" i'm sorry!!!" I turn to him.

" i love you so much.I love you.my unconditional love... "

" it's ..we can't talk about any of this. it means nothing to me as long as you're happy I'm already very happy. whether it's with me or with lulu with anyone when you're happy I'll be happy for sure"

I am moved to hear everything.I feel more guilty to him.Is it possible that he will be happy if I am happy with Rama??.

again - again imagined the figure who continued to follow me where I went with Irfan .

" is he cape?? isn't she thirsty? don't think she's especially right now Irfan's next to me."

Irfan drove me home. Mamah was waiting for me anxiously.

" i'm sorry my aunt and Meisya didn't go home right away. We bought the book first so we came home late"

" is Lulu coming too??"

" not mah had I invited him but Lulu is in the healing stage, fearing that he soy sauce continues to hurt again"

" yes aunt, but we're not going anywhere.just buy a novel. Meisya refused the tan"

" good.means you haven't eaten.then eat first"

" no aunt"

" Sya ajakin Irfan to eat first" said mamah

" no aunt I want to go home"

" are you sure you don't want to taste aunty's cooking first?"

" thank you aunt ..not that I refuse maybe next time" said Irfan so polite.

Irfan passed from my house.I still see the shadow.he was sneaking around and watching me. Was I the only one who saw him?? did Irfan not realize it was there? is this just my hallucination of him??. I closed my door as if I were unaware of his existence.

Tired today, I let this body lie down to enjoy the day that began to twilight.

" thank you Fan you understand me"

Different story with Rama . he was so upset to see the existence of those who are getting closer. his jealousy increasingly popped in the chest. he was angry , he was furious,,, he did not accept the reality of what he had seen.

" i beg you not to smile sweetly at anyone" cried Rama's heart.he imagined the scene he saw earlier as he followed Meisya where he was going.

" ah it turns out that I'm a slave to love.I'm not tired of being heat-tired I keep following where they go, thankfully they don't realize where I am"

" do you know Meisya.I'm jealous to see you near her. I miss you.I miss the grip of our hand..I miss hugging you ..do you know if I love you so much even though I do it in silence" rama's inner wirih. then he was lulled in a dream. he fell asleep in a dream that brought him to the adoration of his heart. In his dream he did not let Meisya smile sweetly at anyone let alone Irfan. " you're evil!! I can't smile" Meisya said in his dream, Rama.

" i don't want anyone to fall in love with you because of your charming smile, I'm crazy enough for you because of that smile"