A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED
LOVE STATEMENT
After the uncertainty of Rama's attitude towards my heart, my attitude changed. Said Lulu I became a quiet figure no longer cheerful as before.
" Yes.you broke up with Rama huh??" many questioned my relationship with Rama. I just smiled . actually what they were asking anyway since we were not lovers. why now must be called 'break up '.
Now I often stay in class even when the break time comes, to step foot just to the canteen I was very lazy. indeed I still miss him but my heart aches more not to allow me to meet him.
" Yes ..Are you not kantin?" ask sindy
" no ah sin" I replied flatly.
then there was the sound of guitar quotes in my class.all eyes glanced at him including me. Irfan..again she . sang a romantic song with her voice more enchanting.all speechless, all silent.all focused on the song Irfan so seducing.
our applause is always a tribute to Irfan when he finished singing every song.
I just smiled at him when he couldn't get out of my face.
" This song I present to all of you. May you be entertained.and this song I offer special to someone who has made me fall in love at the beginning of the meeting. someone who made me fall in love at first sight - someone I both admired and loved...Meisya Wijaya.I love you"
all dumbfounded, all silent, all stunned and all in unison staring at me. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can't believe this is going to happen. I couldn't say - kata. wanted me to run right away from my class, but Lulu prevented it.
" wait first, don't-don't who has been giving Meisya a secret surprise is you Fan?" bima asked as if representing everything there.
" how is She???" asked Irfan while still looking at me
" Receive...receive...receive...!!!!" the children in my class shouted, except for Lulu who did not shout asking me to accept Irfan's love because only Lulu who knows what my heart is like now.
my red face feels hot either because of anger or shame.which I realize now again-I was faced with the figure of the coward. Neither Rama nor Irfan alike - equally faced with fear before living it. I am sick of ,, I do not want to open my heart for the moment. I will restore my heart as I did before I knew Rama in my heart. I will not open my heart to anyone at least for now.
I just smiled at them . I wanted to shout loudly at Irfan because of him Rama left me. Because of Irfan's cowardly attitude that made Rama ignore me, but I can't do it.
" just let me guess" said lulu slowly
" yes,,, "
" how are you ready to accept others??"
" Lulu... my heart has not healed yet.I am still grieving.I just closed my heart from Rama now I have to open it for Irfan" I explained to Lulu.
" but Irfan is braver than Rama, right??"
" but my love has chosen to be anchored to Rama Lu" I replied to Lulu who was reciprocated with a nod of Lulu's head.
