A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED

I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR SON

There was a sense of pity in the look of mamah when I saw me, there was also a sense of anger that was somehow suddenly present in the light of his eyes.

" when did you meet Rama's mother??"

" mama mean??" I asked back - pretending I didn't understand what it meant.

" have you ever met her mother??" ask her again. I just nodded. I don't want to lie to mama. I'm used to being honest with her.

" when???" search him

" i don't know, I forgot again"

" and he said to stay away from his son, to ignore his son's love for you to ignore all his concern for you??" ask mama with a tone of emotion.

" how do you know all that??" hysterical scream.

" you'll be surprised when you hear it!!!" father says

" mahhhh, I have always been honest with you. Now you have to be honest with me, how do you know that Rama wished that to me??"

" he came here!!!! begging - please be kind enough to tell you to do that. so you can separate for reasons that sound far-fetched" clearly mamah made me limp and lost all my strength.

" is that really what??" my question is almost unnoticed.

" yes, son.. and he also told you all that??" asked Dad so gently it sounded so soothing.

I nodded again - again I couldn't lie to them.

" i'm sorry mah!!!" I said in my arms.

" maybe you've been worried about me all this time" I said.

" therefore...can you not be together first at least for now??" ask mamah .

" Meise needs time to do it"

" pardon my mother.."

" not my fault"

" don't blame much less hate mamahnya Rama. all mothers will certainly do their best for their children. his mother Rama was so. let alone rama son who must be responsible to his mother. he is a single parent whose role is concurrently as a father as well. surely he will be firm against his children" explained mamah so wise.

" he shouldn't be like that" I replied with a sob.

" everyone expresses his love and concern differently.The way Irfan and Rama love you is also different.well the way his mother rama equally mamah in loving you also must make a difference." mama said.

I was willing to leave them. I passed by a myriad of disappointments . Could this be what Rama always said if he did not want me to leave him?? could he have guessed that all this would be done by his mother??!!.

Cruel!!!! I think he's very cruel.

" i didn't steal your son ma'am!!!" I shouted in my heart.

I immediately hunted down my room.I cried sobbing in silence. I was washed away with endless sadness.I probably had to let go. although mamah is not affected by this condition but I know mamah worries me. I do not want it!!! . and now I have to choose between my mamah heart,, his heart Rama or my heart will still be hurt. There is a wound created with love that can never be owned.