A LOVE THAT WAS NEVER OWNED
WHO IS WORTHY
My days are now as if in bloom flowering. happiness that had faded now as if I could reach again in my grasp. there is Rama beside me even though I did it behind the figure of Irfan who is still my lover. but now I don't seem to care about his presence.
" we kantin together with yu" asked Irfan one time when he was resting.
" you go first, I have to go to the library first to find a book "
" well, we go there together"
" but not now ,, at most"
" yes I've been waiting for" said Irfan remained patient.
" can't you always come to my class, can you not always be with me? can I be free to go where anyone is?" suddenly I unconsciously raised my voice.
" what's wrong?? I just want to be with you in your spare time"
" wrong!!!!" steady answers.
" where's the fault??? I didn't interrupt your lesson, all this time I knew the limits"
" it's not, but you're like I can't be with anyone else but you"
" is that?? I never forbid you from being with your friends. I never forbid you from being with Lulu"
" yes I know but they feel like a hindrance to us"
" i don't understand your thoughts, or are you trying to get away from me??"
" whatever!!!" ketus.
" all right, I'm waiting to get home from school" Irfan said as he passed from my class.
" are you moody?? what's up??" ask Lulu when she comes out of the library
" i had a little fight with Irfan"
" why?"
" i forbid him to come to my class"
" cause??"
" no reason . I'm just a little distracted"
" no don't you start to get away from him"
" maybe!! rather than me continuing with him without a heart" I answered out of nowhere the courage came from.
" See... are you sure you want to part with Irfan??"
" sure, I just don't know where to come from and why, I often feel sorry for him. He always patiently faces me but my feelings are getting away from him. We are better friends than we are now".
Irfan returned home from school as usual was waiting.as usual he also spread a warm smile to welcome me. as if nothing - did he walk cheerfully beside me also Lulu.
" you thirsty? wanna drink?" I said so. but I just shook my head. As usual Irfan told me this but I just listen to it.
faintly heard from behind the sound of Rama chatting with his friends.I tried not to glance at him.I instead walked slowly.up to a group behind can pass Irfan, Lulu and also me. sure enough there was Rama there. he glanced at me with his sad face.he looked at me with a very deep ray of jealousy.I wanted to chase after him,, I wanted to call his name, I wanted to call him, even I wanted to walk with him not with Irfan, but I soon realized I could not do it in front of Irfan. However I did not want to hurt his heart even though behind him I had often hurt him. Scroll the figure of Irfan beside me who is always cheerful when with me, I look at the back of Rama who is getting away from my sight. I don't know who really deserves to be my lover???
they are present in my life with different characters. Irfan was always patient, cheerful and fought for everything for me. But I was never as comfortable as Rama. while Rama he never tried to dare to fight for his love openly as if there was a barrier so strong but I already love him.
