Seabadi Edelwai..

Chapter 180 Diary

Once inside the room, Elza sat on the edge of the bed and I followed her.

"Za, what's going on? What are you sick with? and how exactly is your household?"

Cecarku.

"I'm sick with cancer Vin.."

As my body went limp, my knees trembled at the response that slid from Elza's lips.

My tears flowed uncontrollably, I immediately grabbed her thin body.

I did not expect, my best friend would be included in the list of patients with this most frightening disease.

I can't imagine anything bad that might happen in the days ahead.

"Za. you must be healed. You can definitely, you're a great fighter"

While I rubbed his shoulders.

Elza let go of my embrace, smiling and nodding.

"You have to promise Vin, don't tell Daniel this,,"

"But Za... "

"The Vin.... I beg....."

Elza looked at me while cupping her palms together.

I sighed, though,

"Vin, can I ask you one thing?"

"What Za. say, let alone one thing, all that you want surely I give..."

My answer.

"Married to Daniel.."

Hearing that, my eyes were wide open, I never thought Elza would ask for a request that I would never be able to fulfill.

"Za... What are you talking about?? what kind of request is this??! where could that be!"

Elza looked down, and I saw tears that she had been holding back from flowing.

"Yes, you're right, it's hard, but, I want to see Daniel happy"

"Zp... What's actually going on? why talk like that?"

"I can't be happy with Him Vin, Daniel was tormented living with me, his heart was depressed, because I knew in his heart there was only you.."

Shhhh....!!

I immediately put my index finger in front of Elza's lips.

"Don't talk like that.... Did Daniel treat you badly?"

Elza shook her head, though,

"Daniel treats me well, even very well, but I know his heart keeps thinking of you"

Elza walked up from the edge of the bed to the wardrobe and opened it.

He took out an object that he kept under a pile of clothes, and brought it to me.

"Here, you read.."

A book of the Agenda is black and I still remember this book, in High School, I used to see Daniel write in this book, but I never knew what He wrote.

But what about the book?

I received the book of the Agenda with a thumping heart,,

I slowly opened up sheet by sheet of the book.

How shocked I was to know how many inscriptions of my name there, even almost every sheet.

And my eyes did not blink when I read a line of writing.

📒📖

"You are my first love, since my heart is your name, then there will never be another love after that"

I continued to open the next page.

📒📖

"I can no longer harbor and hold this feeling alone, no matter what happens, at least I have to be brave"

Stale sweat started to overflow almost all parts of my face, along with irregular heartbeat.

It seemed that I no longer wanted to continue reading the contents of this Agenda book, but when I looked at Elza's Face, her eyes signaled that I might continue reading all the secrets within the Agenda.

With hesitation, I continued flipping the book sheet.

📒📖

After reading that sentence, my memory goes back to the night before Agung made our anniversary announcement at the millennial cafe when Daniel suddenly came but did not speak and chose to go home.

Holy jeez!!

It is true that the words of Elza and Nina at that time, if Daniel came to express his feelings to me.

📒📖

"The spirit is back, I hope that today is my lucky day, hoping that Goddess Fortuna is with me, and this beautiful necklace,, he is the owner of my heart"

📒📖

"I'm broken, I'm broken, even scattered and messy.. He, whom I had hoped for, had been chosen first and chose his own happiness, and it was not Me!

I don't know, how this heart will be tomorrow and later.When the crown is dim, will it still survive or break in the ground,,, he said,,

He, the man I've always dreamed of, now I can't hope for..

He was my first love, which now goes away carrying all the love that is in my heart, to the point of being, to the point of being, to the point of being, to the point of being,,

There can be no more love..."

My mouth was open in disbelief at what I had just read, with my right hand, I opened my own mouth.

It is true that I made the wound in Daniel's heart, stuck a thorn in his heart that made him no longer able to love the love that was present in his life.

Then... What about Elza? why was there a wedding at that time?

The question was so stirring in my head.

📒📖

"He was present, taking care of the wound and gently bandaging it, until I could slowly rise up and try to heal from the agonizing pain, trying to come to terms with disappointment.

He was so kind, with all his sincerity trying to infiltrate between the ice of the soul.

She's so sweet, things I never realized before..

But my heart felt bland..all the sense of having gone with the first love, could it be that I could make her happy?

As for my own happiness I don't have any!!"

My tears fell back right on the sheet I was reading,

I know the pain of Elza's heart to find a reality like this.

📒📖

"I'm almost crazy, crazy for not being able to forget Him, for,,

And He's the wounded nurse, and I don't want him to get hurt like me..

The hardest decision of my life was to love her without love"

I looked at Elza's face, with clear droplets falling down.

📒📖

"I love him, but until this moment, that love belongs to Him, I'm sorry"

I closed the Agenda book, unable to read any more of the writing there that might have made my heart more confused.

I never thought this would happen and I learned the secret of Daniel's heart from my best friend, none other than Daniel's own wife.

"Yes God... How'this?? I don't want to hurt Elza who might have been hurt long ago, nor do I want my happy day with Dirga to fall apart just because of Daniel's silly feelings!"

"Vin, I want you to reconsider my request, just consider it my last request"

"Za.. don't say that. This is not true, this is wrong... It's a long time ago, and now.. I'm sure, Daniel's heart is just you. Believe me yes...."

Elza smiled and shook her head,,

"Daniel loves Me only because of our binding status Vin. because He is a good and responsible man with all the decisions He takes even though this is indeed the wrong decision.. but He lived it with sincerity, even He was never a little negligent in his responsibilities while being a husband, but Vin. heart can not lie, but Vin, the woman he's loved all his life is you're not me"

"Elza.. You are horrified by Me, I can't catch your ridiculous request! next month I'll marry Dirga, even tomorrow night.Dirga's family will come to propose to me, you know... Dirga is the only person in my heart,, "

Hearing my explanation Elza bowed.

Before long, he looked back at me and smiled.

"Yes... I'm happy to hear it. Congratulations Vin, I hope the process is all right.."

Elza grabbed me and cried sobbing as if spilling all the burdens in her heart.

"I'm sorry Za..."

My speech.

"I'm the one who should be sorry for interrupting your time and adding weight to your mind"

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