Seabadi Edelwai..

Chapter 153 Worry

Stiffness and awkwardness between Me and Vina even to look at each other it feels powerless, considering all the stories Ayumi had.

Not long, though,

Mama and the rest of my family approached the two of us, followed by Vina's parents.

"Vina.. This is Aunt Ruri and the others want to go home"

Aunt Yuni said as soon as she got near us.

Vina smiled,

"Ehm... Aunty, why not late afternoon? just relax here..."

"Ah, he wants it anyway, but this is Ma'am going to fly directly to Samarinda again, so want to not go home this directly packing again."

Mama replied while pointing at Mbak Echa, Mama said,

"Ohh, that...."

Vina nodded.

"Well, do you want to come home or do you want to be here first?"

Ask Mama.

"I'm going home, too, Ma..."

Vina seemed to flinch, then immediately looked at me.

I avoided Vina's gaze.

I need time to be alone and calm my heart and mind that are in chaos.

"Yuk, we're going now...Aunt, Om .. Great and great families yes..."

My interest in Vina's parents then walked first to the car.

In the car, Mama looked at me.

"Gung, what's wrong with you?"

Ask Mama.

"Why what is Ma?"

I pretended I didn't understand Mama's direction.

"You act, why is it that cold? any issues? fighting again?"

Connect Mama.

"Hmmm... What the hell Ma, fighting? I'm a kid's kayak"

Answer smiled.

"Want to?"

"Ga there's nothing Ma... Agung tired, want cepet-cepet tambahan"

My answer.

Mama nodded.

Get home, then,

Without saying much I walked into the room, contemplating what had just happened.

"Lord, is my move to continue this engagement appropriate? Is Vina happy to be in this relationship with me?Is this the right destiny? or is this God's fault?

Help me give me the best way how should I respond to this?

Am I nothing more than a barrier to their true love?

Do I have to back off, after all this happened?"

I'm lirih.

......................

It has been two days, I deliberately did not contact Vina, either phone or message, and otherwise there was no effort from Vina to contact Me first, it means there is Me or not, it means there is Me, it had no effect on Vina, if it was true that she loved me even a little, she would definitely try to call me asking about my change.

All this makes me even more discouraged.

This longing is torturous, yet I must learn to slowly get used to it.

Today, Vina's leave is over, which means Vina will be back in the office.

After thinking for a while, I decided to pick her up and drop her off this morning.

Arriving in front of Vina's house, Aunt Yuni welcomed me, after allowing me to sit down, Aunt Yuni left me to tell Vina.

Not long, though,

"Hey... "

greet Vina, then sit next to me.

"Hi.. good morning baby.., wawww.. you are so beautiful, cute wear pink-pink gini"

I acted like the usual Great, trying like there was nothing and was ordinary.

Vina looked at me awkwardly.

"You came here to make...."

Ask.

"Fetch you.... Dearest fiancee"

My welcome's fast.

"We go in first yuk, breakfast..."

"OK,,"

My answer then moved and followed Vina's steps into the house to the dining room.

After breakfast, Vina and I prepared to leave for Vina's office after saying goodbye to her parents,

The car drove away from Vina's garage.

In the middle of the journey,

"Darling... Can I have nanya?"

I looked back for a moment and then concentrated on the road ahead.

"What?"

Answer's short.

With a heart, degan,

"You haven't forgotten Dirga?"

Ask directly.

Vina gasped at my question.

"What's that for?"

"Yes not papa.. I just want to know,,"

"We'll talk about something else..."

His kill.

I took a breath, finding Vina's attitude that seemed to dodge.

"Darling..see from yesterday's incident, I know, you can't completely forget Dirga.but you have to remember darling, Dirga has moved on from you first, you know,, He already has his own world, He has a family, and we, will build our own happiness.."

I pretended not to know the truth about Airgantara, I wanted to see Vina's reaction, and wait for honesty from her mouth.

I clasped his hands and clasped tightly, turning back to look for a moment at Vina's face.

Vina sighed softly, making me look back at her for a moment.

"I know, it may be hard for you not to think about Dirga anymore, but at least you think"

Back I'm fishing for honesty Vina.

Vina turned and nodded, though,

"Yes... I know that, I'm not going to ruin it all, it's just that I'm begging you, Give me time to turn off this once-fertile feeling slowly,,"

The answer, made my heart ache, was as happy as Vina's love for Dirga, and now He admits it himself?

Does love grow even though it is infertile?

"You mean?"

Ask slowly.

"I'm not ready if after this we rush to get married, I'm still not thinking that way anytime soon.Let everything go slowly, without having to force the desire"

Vina refused to marry me.

"You don't want us to get married soon?"

Say slowly.

"No, that's not what I mean by Gung, Not not wanting to get married, just not anytime soon, give me time to solve all these messy heart problems"

Vina loved Dirga so much, I felt guilty at once for forcing my way in, and now I made Vina confused and unhappy with me.

"OK, if that's your will, I'll talk to Mama again, but... My intention is just to make you forget the past faster"

I took off Vina's hand which was in my grasp.

My love is broken, and guilt is now haunting me, and I regret an engagement that should never have happened.

Did I just end this relationship?

And what about my heart?

Am I up to it?

Am I strong enough for all this?

All these years I've kept my heart and my feelings, all those years I've always hoped for a wonderful destiny to bring us together in a bond,,

following prayer and desire togetherness with Vina forever,

Could it be that I could forget Vina when I was no longer with her, could it be that I could smile when Dirgantara and Vina re-knit their beautiful story.

Oh my God. Help me...

My inner.

Recalling the times when Me and Vina were in Junior High, my heart was creaking..

as soon as this is happy it must end to see the person I love can smile freely without pretense like when with me.

Should I sacrifice my own heart for the hearts of both of them..?

Instantly this pain attacked the heart and quickly spread throughout the rest of my body.

Why should I be stuck in a love I can't have God...?

Why should I start feeling for someone who has never felt for me.

Connect***