Seabadi Edelwai..

Chapter 155 Let go

All the way home, I'm like a dumb, dazed man who doesn't know what to do or how.

My thoughts are filled with Vina, Vina and Vina..

For a moment I asked in my heart, was my decision right..?If so, why is it so hard to remove the shadow of Vina's face from my brain.

Get home, then,

"Cock fast Gung?"

Mama glanced at the wall clock then looked at me in wonder,

"Yes,,"

My answer was short, and then I walked in and passed Mama.

"Eh... Wait for... Wait..."

Prevent Mama who quickly caught up with me and stood in front of me.

"What Ma?''

The answer is I had to stop stepping.

"Now that gloomy? wh why? Is there a problem?"

Search Mama.

I shook my head, then continued my steps into the room leaving Mama standing in confusion.

I wasn't ready to tell Mama my intentions, I still didn't have enough guts to see Mama's disappointment when I found out I decided to end my engagement to Vina.

Up in the room, I opened my phone and sent two song files like the one I promised Vina in the car.

After it was sent, I deliberately gave Vina the time to listen and imbue the song.

After I thought, Vins finished listening to the song, I called Vina, but earlier, I gathered all my courage, then took a deep breath and then threw it away.

Hola... Vin.."

My handkerchief as soon as my phone is picked up,

But I did not find Vina's voice, only a faint sobs were heard in my ears.

A moment of silence, I again tried to call Vina.

"Win..."

"Yes..."

The slow voice finally sounded.

"You crying??"

My toot.

Vina did not answer.

"Cry. let the tears flow freely.release all the flavors you keep.don't hold back, thank you for following my advice to listen to this song with headphones on at bedtime,, you know,, I just want to know your reaction, if suddenly your eyes get wet, maybe there is still a remnant of the past that is not finished that is forcing re-entry into your mind and heart, he said, the rest of the past is someone who once made you very happy, and now you have to let go because it is not possible.

Therefore, weep, let your eyes be wet, do not wipe... "

I said slowly,,

And my words made Vina's sobs become more and more so.

I let him cry until satisfied, until the sedu sedan and its sobs can awaken Me if indeed I have never been in his heart like Dirga.

So that I can more easily forget all the flavors that ever existed.

Long enough to keep quiet, with the call still on, I could clearly listen to his cry that made my heart slit every time the sobs sounded.

Not long, though,

"Goung..."

Sweepings.

"Yes..."

Answer,,

"Why are you doing this? what was? is this what's made you feel different these last 2 months,,?"

I can't believe Vina felt my change.

I thought, Vina doesn't care about that.

"You feel my change?"

My toot.

"Vina, actually I haven't changed, I'm just confused,, "

mylm.

"Stupid? confused why?"

"Bungled by your attitude, how can you have a relationship with Me but your heart is tormented"

My heart felt sore to say this sentence, imagined how the message of Vina and Dirga in the car at that time, ringing all Ayumi's stories about them.

"Gung, you mean?!"

Vina asked in a panicked voice.

"I've known everything Vin, you still can't forget Dirga and you haven't been sincere with our relationship either.."

it was like a sharp object was pulling on me.

"More... I'm..."

Sela Vina, but I quickly cut.

"Why are you lying to me Vin, about Dirga's status? if it turns out Dirga is not married let alone have children, even though you already know it"

Remembering me how Ayumi told me about Dirga who introduced Vina to them while in the mall, my heart was like a formless melt.

"Gung I can...."

Again I didn't give Vina a chance to speak.

"You still love Dirga, still love Dirga so much..I don't want to be a hindrance to you, I don't want you to give up your happiness for Me, while you don't get that happiness from Me at all."

"Follow Please.Please give me a chance to explain, I..."

"I'm not that bad Vin, I love you. If your happiness is Dirga, not Me."

I'd love to tell her that I saw a friendly scene in the car at the airport at the time, but why I couldn't...

Especially when I heard the cry broke with the sobs that were echoing in my ears.

"Remove your tears Vin, don't cry anymore.We end this charade, and pursue your true happiness."

Unknowingly, something flowed from the corner of my eye.

When we have to let someone we love go after his love and obviously it's not me.

There's still a lot I want to say, but I don't feel like I can anymore, the tightness in my chest that feels squeezing makes me have to end this call.

"bye Vina's..."

Say it slowly before I press the turn off button.

I sat on the bed, holding my head which felt very heavy, and,,

Oh my God, it turns out this feeling really hurts. Letting Vina out of my heart was not as easy as I imagined, Vina,

it was like losing half a soul, empty and drifting, how could I continue my days ahead if it was now that I was about to die.

I beg you to strengthen Me Lord, even this is not finished.There is still another chapter where I have to explain to Mama and my family about my decision so that Mama can understand without hating Vina.

Really I don't want Mama's affection for Vina to change when she finds out about Dirga.

Vina, are you worried about me right now?

or instead relieved and happy because regardless of the charade of heart?

I decided to send him a message.

"Vina.don't worry about Me, I'm fine.and don't wonder why I chose this decision, because to me.. the highest level of loving someone is when we sincerely let go to see them happy."

I exhaled after seeing the message I sent read, my heart pounding waiting for what Vina's reply would be.

For some reason, I still hope Vina holds me back, even though I myself want to release Vina.

Before long, I received a reply.

"I don't know what to say, and I don't know what to do. You're so good, so good.I'm sorry"

A little disappointment scratched, read the contents of Vina's reply message.

"There's no need to say anything, about our engagement, let's just say it never happened, I'll talk to Mama, you take it easy... They will understand, After this, I have decided to stay quite a long time in Batam, at least until we are used to it and ready to meet again, with a different status,,"

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