Monster Labile

Self-Esteem

So tired..

Eyes 5 watts..

Today I have to take my grandfather's pension. Then he attended the deceased neighbor. Hm.. I think it's just this afternoon that I can sleep for a while. The danger is very much if I get less sleep, later my unstable personality can be released again, ah I mean the light points of the reminder, which is useful for yes it is to remind.

zzz..

Entering cost-effective mode. Shrink focus divisions for more important things like emotional control, staying friendly with others and other important habits. Yes, it must be intended from the beginning so that it is easier.

Arrive at the post office. I take off my helmet and keep walking towards the front door. I saw a lot of old people gathered. Most grandparents are retirees.

Walking, I accidentally raised myself by straightening my face, puffing my chest and aura.

Ah I'm forgetfulness. Caliph. Can't be arrogant.

To neutralize the actions and change their minds about me I gave a smile of greeting.

Good. nice step.

The first problem can be solved.

Get in the room. After putting the retirement card in the queue I looked for a seat. Ew many people, still act cheap smile. 3:)

I saw the neighboring RT chief sitting on a bench by the door. There was a room next to him without a second thought I immediately sat next to him. Ah good choice. Good means to refer to the condition. Not because anyone can be invited to chat but because it can cover the existence. I like the way things go when other people aren't looking at me. In this corner, I sat back to the people.

Well, I'm learning to suppress my Beater's vision. Choosing a good choice to be engrossed yourself in order to ignore people around by diverting their minds, for example playing games. Ignoring their personalities.

Ew my mood is good even though sleepy, so the character of self is more to the side of the original nature. The taking of action will be as suggested, a good answer that comes to mind when the choice question arises.

I shook hands with him.

"representing your grandmother?" said

"inggih(iya), the elderly grandmother was even told to come here only"

There's not too much we talk about because I try not to talk much. Talks that are not too useful I will respond with a small laugh (varies in tone), gestures and short replies that I think are enough. Guess? yes adjust what we think is enough, maybe if you meet people who like to talk differently again. Those who like to talk must be gossipers, who like gossip must like to demean others. My instinct says to always keep your distance from the gossip. Because in the increase of association there are times when making a habit with each person. If I can continue to defend myself to stay awake from gossip until old age then it will be a good habit. Especially important the times I learned to hang out were how all parties felt calm or did not disappoint them. "Make them happy when they meet me so that the friendship can be established"

Intention by raising the Glory of our Prophet Sire Muhammad s.a.w.

Firmness in stance is a little difficult as well. For example I am too self-centered there will be an imbalance of justice. Yup! I used to do it a lot. Sok felt himself the most right so that many are neglected. Even suppose for free.

All are useless regrets

...

Sometimes I look around to make sure. Ascertain what? if there's a terrorist wkwkwngaur. Lah nah. Just anticipation.

*uhhh

Tired, waiting for a long queue. Mr. RT has his turn.

After 3 queues from the neighboring RT pack, it was finally my turn to arrive.

"his grandmother is sick?" ask her brother

eh? not that I explained it last month.

"aa grandma ulun back pain easily when late sitting" let alone driving right through the hollow road.

His sister showed a dissatisfied expression by turning her lips. Emm I can't lie. Are you worried that I'm bullying my grandmother? lol, where is possible.

Then her sister asked me again where my house was. I answered. The Jangkung RT 3. Where he said it again.

"the foot bend before the bridge"

RT where I live does not have a straight intersection so where maybe people will go rough.

But his brother was confused. Am I lacking my explanation? the more confused we both became equally confused.

Ah I'm getting dizzy..

"this is 1 jt money"

Okay thanks brother. I put the money in the bag. 

There was a voice in my heart, an evil whisper.

Lol!!! why do I take my grandmother's money. Whispering even blatantly, lousy.

After taking the money the pensioner next attended death. For women, including my grandmother, I would like to drop a bowl of rice and help. If I see the situation first whether it can help or not usually men just pray fardhu kifayah and do miser for the corpse/mayit.

I shake hands with people who are easily accessible. Getting into the assembly area is not a good choice for me. I like to be alone and prefer to be alone.

Cause knows for itself, right?

I saw some gentlemen making something out of a wooden board. Maybe a chest for the mayor. If the makai coffin means the burial area is watery. I approached to help.

"here ulun help" I said asking for a replacement with Pak Upik

Mr. Upik handed his saw to me.

Oyeys! can value participation >_<

A little I sawed off feeling once that my hands were not powered. Eww. I haven't played sports in a long time. Yes, because every day my problem is just one.

To throw away the practice means sin dong. Physical blame is also a sin. I don't know, not everything we can reach. Accepting it is the best course of action.

*drrttt

Aww. the veins behind my neck ask me to rest immediately. Unfortunately, it is not yet time. But. sit for a while no papalah anyway I can no longer turn to help.

*hoamm

-__- uhh the more serem aja my facial expression because of panda eyes.

Sound from behind the vehicle. Parked up? I looked back at Aldy's parents. I tried to smile a little as a greeting but the expression and air around them were not happy. Not because of their neighbors, but because of me.

Why not the neighbors? because their families used to fight. A little bit I make sure of that. But the presence of them attending his grieving neighbor does not mean that the relationship is good.

His reason? whether there is a purpose or pure self-reliance?

Not that that's the problem, but I. Yes me.

Why me? because I often take his son to the cafe until he has been hit by a ha ha ha ticket. Even a few weeks ago Aldy was caught by his parents going to the cafe again. Of course it's my fault. Because it was ingrained in his parents' mind that "definitely" I invited him.

Hm..

Then I can read what happened.

Don't be friends with the unstable monster again, unemployment must have a lot of problems..

And my grim face today fits Critical Strike when I meet his parents.

Neither were Aldy's parents. But friends in the group know round.

I saw all the shadows of my friend's relationship with his son about me.

Hm..

Making friends with them is not as easy as it used to be. That's why I'm often silent and don't act as much as I used to. Because Hepis is childish. I will never have adult friends.

I should have a high job in order to equal their position.

The fear..

My mind started to sink into negative thoughts.

I heard the talk of mothers I accidentally heard. I heard my name in their conversation.

Ahhe..

The only problem is what I am doing. Does it have to have a high position in order to talk to them and not be underestimated.

Unfortunately I'm not like them. That's the reason why I fantasized about meeting my twin.

Strange as well..

Wanting to show my prowess, brushed aside with a sentence;

people who hate you don't need your edge..

Also if I do that includes the arrogant.

If I'm the emotion that definitely comes to mind is how to silence them. 

Avoiding society is also impossible.

Then why don't I just work? because I have an opinion that keeps me from doing it..