Monster Labile

Obstructionism

Right now I have not liked someone to fill one of the empty spaces in this heart. Yes of course I am not opening this heart door to someone who likes me because there is a trace that is still not lost by him. The statement he posted did indeed slap once, this heart felt torn to shreds, this was the first time I felt hurt.

The pain felt very different from what I had broken up with Linda, well maybe this is karma, if I remember the first time I PDKT with her I sent a message that this is "experimentation" so Aulia easily forgets the moments with me, gehh* I am indeed a kamvrettt man try to say if you like yes like, maybe the men who know about this will tell me "lowly". But because of that, everything is imprinted and it will be difficult to move forward. If I see her again I'll apologize, yes even if she'll eventually say "why always apologize" this will be a very useful note.

Apparently liking someone is not difficult. I just need to pay attention to them more carefully. Their bodies, faces, looks and so on are the ones I pay the most attention to because mostly I like to be with someone through feeling and suddenly they are so glowing. It is difficult to explain this feeling of joy, but thanks to the many experiences and of course the guidance of Almighty God I can get to this stage.

You know I often play quizzes that can reveal who we are, exactly who we are, then there is a quiz about romance, whether you love to die with him or not. The quiz gives 3 images of crystal hearts of different colors.

First crystal heart with purple and red color.

The second crystal heart with the most predominant red color and a little purple and blue.

The third or last crystal heart with red, green, white and blue colors. Dominant is still red.

Answers should always be based from the bottom of the heart. I already knew the answer with my instincts, I should no longer have to press and look at it. But I will face it I press the crystal heart to the third, yes that is my current feeling. The answer is more or less like this "you can't fully love him yet" yap I know that gehh* when with Aulia even my feelings are so, I feel something is getting in the way, that feeling kept bothering me when I was in school, whatever it was seemed to require me to finish it.

What does love mean? do you have to have a challenge to achieve it? Why do we like someone? Why do they like us? How do you respond when someone likes you? Who should we choose who we like or who likes us? Is love about saving or being saved?

I was once Nisa's lover, my best friend because I felt I had to do it. More to the feeling of saving that and being responsible. I want to fix my attitude towards him. At that time I did not know what she was feeling and suddenly I wanted to be her boyfriend.

Is that the meaning of saving love?

I used to say that I like to be close to him, we joke around with laughter, share stories, share information about someone, do chores together, making paisan (an answer summary paper for replicates) and more, it feels good. Maybe I misinterpreted my sense of comfort. About the relationship did not last long, our relationship became awkward, stiff and I was not too experienced dating. A short trip.

After the incident Beater was active and my view focused on error and anger, not because it was decided but because of something else. I finally kept my distance from him.

If relating to love only makes my story mess better I learn first so as not to misstep again. Researching experience after experience, a lot I missed, all became meaningless regrets.