Monster Labile

Leave Me alone

I want to be alone, not talk and not think of anyone else. Try as much as possible to get away from the company. My labile nature is relapsing.  Only special people can talk to me. My heart is cooler when I am alone. My mind automatically identifies others when they are within 5 meters. The further away from the radar the less power my abilities have. Where I might scream or whisper at people to get away from me. The best way right now is to avoid.

I walked quickly to the place of worship but in front of the courtyard the Judge pulled my arm as I tried to get away from the crowd. I know he's kidding, but not so.

It hurts because his grip is hard.

Kezzall!!! how dare you pull me. I showed an angry expression of the Beater character. I humbled.

Oh shit my emotions are also relapsing.

Try to think about it before joking around. The importance of feeling valued. But my response earlier was also inappropriate I should be patient. I once said to hold back emotions but I myself am not very good at holding back emotions.

My neighbor was once arrested by the police for taking drugs. My neighbor is hiding in a house of worship. After being caught there was a lot of gossip, and it reached my ears. I accidentally heard it. After hearing what happened to my neighbor I immediately went away from the gossip monger, as far as possible to the point of being inaudible to me. Listening to gossip made me think negatively between the two, also inviting sin. I don't want to be gossiped about.

Tomorrow the herd even make the incident as a joke. I was angry with the Judge because he was among them. I reprimanded him so badly.

Huuff..

Don't think negatively.

I should be nice when I meet people. As I went through the night, I intended to forgive the judge's guilt. Rarely do I ask someone to forgive my mistakes even in a subtle way like greeting. It is my punishment for what I have done. Without a sincere heart an apology diminishes in value. While on my side, everyone who has ever hurt me will forgive me if I remember and realize. So now as much as possible I will reduce the association with people. Except in important circumstances. Lessons for me to stay away from mistakes. As much energy as possible to maintain this feeling.

In the morning at 9 o'clock, I went fishing in the river. Of course I'm alone. Before going to the river, I stopped by the stall to buy food. In front of the store I saw a motorcyclist turning the lid of his vehicle's gas tank. I was relieved that I no longer needed to call the owner of the shop. I just chose snacks and drinks. Appeared the son of the store owner handed over the driver's change earlier. Uah the pretty girl apparently. If you don't wear a veil, it's dangerous. I asked the price of any snack that is 500 rupiah so that my money fits with the groceries. I brought 3 1000Rp coins, I passed them slowly over her small palm. As much as possible so as not to touch but dear, he touched my hand. I was shocked and dropped one of the coins. Soon as I take. Ah my fault.

"Was the money right?" his voice was rather high and sounded cheerful. Wah its ability to make customers great mood too. Cheerful expression and clear voice, plus the appearance. Oups to! relax guys! I only 2 times just looked at his face when he first came and handed over the money that fell earlier. We as guys should keep a look😤.

Up near the river I parked my vehicle near someone else's vehicle. From up here I saw a river that receded once. Naturally dry season. The desire to fish is no longer curable. I rushed straight down the cliff. I'm not afraid of slipping because I have good reflexes. In these moments I take out my horses. I named it the Instinct😂 Movement. If you have not warmed up can sprain using his skill especially if the file can break bones. In essence, instinctual movements are only active if in a desperate situation, for example falling sliding on the cliff😐. No, where would the cave accidentally fall. Just finish the energy.

Well my fishing gear is ready, put the bait up and throw it where I think it's got fish. It's still about instinct.

The sun makes my sweat run. I was wearing a jacket as well as a barrier to sunlight, the heat doubled. I can still hold it.

Why would I fight fishing on such a hot day?

I just love fishing. Ignorance of when the fish will grab my bait. It keeps me alert.

Second, after the fish was hit by a fishing hook I did not know what fish I would get. It's like playing gacha.

Once I got a soft-shell turtle that was still a tiller. Ah as soon as he did I let go. Where do we want to eat these animals. As the name suggests, I don't want the animal stuck in my fishing line anymore. Then the most expected of course the big fish. Yes, all anglers expect it.

Third patient, but every second I fish rarely I regret not getting anything. Because fishing in this river alone makes me calm. I can think as I please without anyone bothering me. Enjoy every moment of making out with nature.

Calm and peaceful.

Right now the best option to calm my labile condition is fishing. While thinking how to get away from people, especially the Judge and the gossip. I don't know why I feel so bothered when I have her presence. I know that the Judge likes to be around me. I've seen a lot of expressions like that, I've memorized. Coupled with guessing the intentions of others made my presence difficult to approach. I'm dealing with a lot of people.

But every night I have to meet him, thinking it bothers me a lot. If I can be honest what I don't like about him is his joking nature and a lot of kepo (want to know).

The difference between Judge and Raga is simple from the two things above. Her jokes aren't outrageous and have never been in my business. Raga likes to be close to me, I also like to be close to her, she is nice. It's a problem we're in getting along. In this "want to be alone" labile condition anyone who irritates me will mark in my black-list. Want to know about me? I have read his intentions. The way of pronouncing, the tone of voice, the expression, the cause, all the information had been processed in my mind. Beater is very sensitive if anyone is spoiled with his business. Learn from bad experiences.

I try to be patient with their actions. Stay as far away as possible. Because I know it's impossible for them to know what's going on with me. There is no pattern or habit to study this unstable nature of mine, not even I myself can understand it.

Ah dizzy.

I remember one thing about this improvement of my nature. Unknowingly I had made hopes appear for my labile nature to be controlled. Also true. I swear I just realized it. My current actions are one of the prevention of my volatile nature. Although it still affects people around me. But this glimmer of hope inspired me to take an important lesson in dealing with labile nature. Like breaking a tangled thread. I see a gap.

For now I have to stay alone.