Monster Labile

Remiss

A story about my struggle for a few days against the latest problems. It started when I got back to my best friend. Before saying "yes" to my best friend's will I thought it would be heavier than usual, I mean the ordeal. So I set aside a little bit of a strong light of consciousness in my mind if I wanted to do something that would not make me feel like we were waking up from sleep. If my daily problems do not need to strengthen my awareness, the point this time is different and my feeling is strong. I did not feel burdened by her presence instead she gave me spirit with just her presence. It's amazing that even through distant messages I can feel his feelings.

In this month of fasting the enemy of man is himself. The devil is chained to hell. I realized that this time my enemy was indeed myself, my dark side. It is like looking for a mathematical answer with a formula that has been told. Trouble times as carefully as what I can do to fight it. I feel challenged.

I got back in touch with my best friend, I was confused as to what message to her. Wanna vent? do not ah a cave guy, then I just wait for the message and reply. As you can see I am inexperienced looking for topics of conversation so many people mistakenly think that I am a coool haha guy. Ah shit(swept) I'm still thinking of plans for a walk with him. The message from the group knew unanimously, the Yahya who said he was going home tonight. Aye? I thought I was home this afternoon? uh apparently he used his own vehicle back home, he said Travelling. This fasting month tevelling makes me tired, I'm upset myself. Yes my friends from the group know round will be pounced before this holiday, I propose to open together, let go of longing roommates who in the future will either meet again. Moon takes off long said I slowly unconsciously tertoreh smile on my lips.

Yahya first returned home so tomorrow I take him for a leisurely walk to the park, actually every morning prayers in the fasting month is our tradition of leisurely walking. But the number of interests is getting less so I only specialise for my group, I do not want to be with others who are from outside the group, especially with small children. Tomorrow I act like normal with Yahya like I met yesterday, this is my ability. We walked as usual and talked about anime and games. My legs become more comfortable to move because it has not been used for a long time to walk or run. I can't wait for the others to come back.

My hereafter friend the Judge was also my grade school friend. During this relaxed period I studied religion with him by studying with Lake Master and Ilmi teacher. I gained a lot of good knowledge and perfected little by little my religion. Studying while relaxing is the most ideal condition for me, not kayaking in school. I can focus more on improving myself. But in this fasting month learning is temporarily stopped, yes that's the problem I can't listen to lectures from teachers anymore. In that game there is a combo hit relentless attack bonus give a lot of points, true I can not hit the combo bonus in this one month. I strayed. Surrounded by yourself. Especially when so many new problems come. Difficult to sleep, on the nuts by someone, the nature of the Judge who is difficult to contact I became upset. I stroked my chest to be patient. I tried to send a message to Nisa who knew she could calm me down. Okay no reply, maybe he's busy.

Yahya wants to accompany me to the Expo Center to buy a guy sling bag. I've wanted to buy that for a long time but it's often forgetfulness, it's an opportunity. We were there about 10 minutes. I was surprised by the number of people. Luxury clothes, no veils, hair on polish, some are dating and more. This is the place I want to avoid the most. Too crowded. Ugh my head hurts.

We just went straight to the store that Yahya meant. I bought the cheapest price because the space of this sling bag is wide enough to fit in a container, I took this. After buying the bag I bought Yahya a drink and we sat near the parking lot.

I realized, it was almost a charm trap with aunty deliberately showed her skill. I was lucky to get out of his charms because I accidentally glanced at the package earlier, actually I almost nodded hinting to accept his offer when a few seconds stunned by his body. This place is really dangerous. "uhh my head is dizzy"

This week is like the top complication of the problem. Soon the month of fasting is over. I don't know where else to destroy all this. I need to rest and calm my mind, too cheerful and laughter is not good for my soul or my character. Real hard. Trouble didn't give me a break to breathe. Attack without loopholes when my condition is not good. My body moves by itself, my body cannot obey what my mind wants. How could? I promised not to do it again. I glanced at my cell phone clock, still at 02:31.

I rise, I cannot be angry, sad or blame myself. I also pray repentance sincerely apologizing to the Recipient of Repentance in a weak condition. I'm trying to figure out what my mistake was in this new case. A moment of thinking about it just flashed when I first came into contact with my best friend. I - apparently I misplaced him inside my defensive wall. I'm lulled. I know my best friend is a girl he shouldn't have to be inside my defensive walls. His presence within the walls lured the defense guards to him. Damnit damnit! from the very beginning I had been beguiled, as a result of which I had to repeat my great mistake.

"ugh"

I have to get everything back together, so tired. This time I put my best friend out of defense and went back to making the fort. I don't want any more help, I need to be stronger. I must not be emotional, remain calm and believe my repentance plea is accepted by the Almighty. Each ordeal is a rung of stairs to reach the final destination, although I repeatedly fall down I cannot give up.

"if we want to ask Him for the pleasure, then we must also be pleased with what God has determined" that is the teaching of Ridha Rabi'ah Adawiyah which my friend shared in FB which coincided very much with the mistakes I had made, obviously I was reprimanded, I sighed and remained calm. My gaze returned again, I wanted to be strong without gaps and meticulous with deadly attacks. I wish I could change everything and run together towards a brighter place.