Monster Labile

Complicated

Here, im monster labile.

I woke up about four and a half hours, last night I slept for only an hour. Males once sahur still wants to sleep. In this house I lived only three with my grandmother and sister, while my kaka was married and moved to our original house in the neighboring RT, that's where I and I lived before moving here to my grandmother's house. A lot happened so we moved here.

After eating I prepared myself for today, yes today my mother intends to make the event open together this afternoon. I was a little pouty to hear the news on Friday afternoon. You know before my mother married Mr. Iin we were just a simple family. So the plan to open it together sounds a bit off in my ears, but I try to think positively if the one who made the plan was Mr. Iin himself not my mother. If it happens, let me in the future fight.

This morning my grandmother did a lot of prating because my mother was late. I glanced at the wall clock has passed 8 o'clock, I was a bit emotional today because of lack of sleep kaka I also have not returned my message to ask my mother's position. My aunt has come here with the ingredients. I do not want to take a headache so I want to sleep for a while until my comfort is disturbed by the noise from the kitchen, ah there is the sound of my mother and Mr. Iin they have come. I came out of the room and made sure of the beautiful sound. Thank God they both arrived. This relief lessened my burden, I returned to the room and prepared for a good dream. About preparing an event so that my family and neighbors only take care of me sleepy heavily.

I was supposed to sleep soundly, the noise from the kitchen beat the music of choice to melt me in my sleep. I also often go back to my room. So noisy. I gave up when my mother, my sister and my kaka were standing near Lamari. I was able to ngiggau into them noisy. Seen my mother distributed money to us and if I talk to want a new cell phone, geez I can't take it anymore. I honestly don't expect money from Mr. Iin or my mother. I haven't worked yet but I've trained my mind to be a little more independent. I got what I wanted, my mother's presence made me happy. Moreover, I have often been given money when I was an orphan, so consider that money is not special, it is not, god is Most Rich and All-Everything, so try to say those words. The money my mother gave me will be used for important purposes only.

The sound of the sound of the Adhan from the break made Pak Iin's feet step towards the source of the sound. I cannot confirm the nature of Mr. Iin because he rarely met him. She was indeed my mother's savior and kidnapper, I was compared to her by far in terms of my mother. He held me back from thinking anything about him even though I had tried, like serving house guests, I would be nice. Mumpung the number of his labors increased I also joined Mr. Iin, usually his mother added with me only 2 people, plus I phobia noticed, fear of adzan or iqamat, if it gets wrong I can down all day. I can feel the aura of his Father Princess if I have to be a caretaker to break, ah geez if I am not phobic. I'm surprised why the family of the Father Princess pray here their house is different RT, oh pantes in front of his house many two-wheeled vehicles, maybe there is a family meeting. Ah there is a little relief because a lot of people so the aura of a stab is not too felt.

"hah why should I, kaka aja" spontaneously I reply to the statement my mother avoids to call the neighbors to come iftar considering I had forgotten to call some neighbors and my grandmother all-out discuss it. My grandmother didn't knowingly talk about it like someone was gossiping, I was angry and didn't want to until my grandmother realized that her attitude hurt me. The case this time is different because there is my mother, ah I can not stand the sound of her welding, for today only. After Ashar I just go to the homes of the neighbors who have been in the mark. From mr. RT, the manager broke, the priest violated and others, the right-hand neighbor huft I cried then on the left. By the time I got in front of Nisa's house, the door was already open. I knocked on the door

"Adit Adit.." while knocking on the door.

"ah Anu this afternoon at my house breaking the fast together tell your father and Adit too"

"oh yes I will say" Nisa replied, she was also surprised by my presence. Before I told him to keep his distance, I didn't want my dirty thoughts to change him. I felt that was the best choice for both of us, my heart felt lonely but as for how else, we had to move forward. Let the pain become fuel to change for the better. But this time I met him again, I almost moved on with him not as an ex but as a friend. There used to be the best solution to my problem but my personality is not yet mature, this time it may be, I will be someone who is always there for him.

I sent a message to him via Line "nis you also came yes" "hehe insyaallah" he said he was a bit slow to reply to my message, usually fast, does he have a lover? I have to be careful not to have any misunderstandings.

*brak*

Then there was the sound of a female scream. Was there an accident? ah I am ablution. When I finished I immediately ran out and there was an accident, the people in the crowd gathered. As usual I saw Ardi was already there helping the victim. The child in the carrying case of her mother's baby had a cut on her forehead, her blood coming out. The mother and sister of the sister did not why only the little one was injured. Some of the little guy's face was covered in blood. I want to go there but it feels like I'm no papa because there's Ardi helping him. I've also been used to seeing this in one month has happened 3 times accidents around here. You know in a year there must always be accidents around here. Still no one gave the warning board the danger of death corner or anything from RT or from a high position. Is it because the houses are adjacent to the road so that it complicates the installation of warning boards? it's been 3 accidents around here. I think a lot more.

Many people have gathered, my family has also arrived. Almost everything is complete. Brother Yudhi, Uncle, old man, my kaka and his wife Melda and other families. Nisa doesn't seem to come, her father represents. Well our show's starting. A few minutes before breaking the fast my mother told brother and sister Yudhi to give envelopes to all present. I feel bad, ah this must be Mr. Iin's idea. Thank goodness I wasn't the one who was told to hand out the envelope, if I was the one who shared it could be messed up in response to everyone's reactions and auras. My mom looks like she's showing off when she counts the money that's going to be distributed to the moms in the kitchen. I know the nature of my mother it feels like I want to reprimand her but it is very difficult not to know where to reprimand from the beginning, the condition is not right. Again I say I am not interested in money, there is no privilege there if only stored and used for things that are less useful. I understood that and made my heart moved to work after this Ramadan and raise as much money as possible for useful things. This exercise to control my labile nature is also nearing completion, I feel like I can handle various problems that will come. I've got what I want. But there is still a sense of emptiness in this heart. Do I need a lover? this uneasiness in my chest makes me cramped.

I try to walk here and there to calm me down. Niente. It doesn't taste very good. Re-open FB and Line is not sought. Ah I was silent for a moment thinking to interpret this disturbing feeling. Today is more special than any other day. Today my feelings are mixed there is joy, laughter, sadness, fear, anger, enthusiasm and others, maybe that makes this disturbing feeling. The unstable monster was happy, now what? is it done? waiting a long time there are still many unanswered questions this is not the end of the story hahaha.