I'm Not a Substitute

Episode 90's

Rayan was devastated after hearing Sechil's confession. The man threw and slammed whatever was near him to vent his anger and annoyance. His room was very messy with broken flower vases, small urn fragments, scattered sheets of paper, and broken glass that was ready to stab anyone who carelessly through it. While Rayan, the man was injured in the hand making fresh blood flow in the palm and back of his hands. But because of the overflowing emotions Rayan did not care at all about the wound. It even seems like Rayan did not feel it. His heart hurt more than his wounds at that moment.

After being satisfied to vent his anger, Rayan also came out of his work room. The man went straight to the elevator to go up to the 3rd floor where their room was. Rayan felt the need for a comfortable embrace Alana now to calm her heart as well as her mind.

Once in her room, Rayan found Alana who had slept on their king size bed that afternoon. Rayan immediately approached then climbed on top of the bed and slipped into the chest of Alana. Both of his hands hugged Alana's waist tightly and his cries broke again when Rayan's warm and comfortable feeling there.

Alana who was bothered by what Rayan was doing immediately woke up. Alana frowned when she felt her clothes were wet.

“Rayan..” Alana with a purau voice.

Rayan continued to stay still in that position making Alana unable to move. Rayan's tears increasingly dripping makes Alana confused because her husband arrived crying and hugging her.

“What's up?” Ask Alana slowly. Alana was really surprised. Rayan could cry like that without Alana knowing why.

Rayan lifted her head then looked up at Alana who still did not understand what happened to her husband.

Gently Alana rubbed the eyes of her husband dry the tears that kept dripping and bathed the two eyelids Rayan.

“Alana.” Call him in a soft voice.

Alana stared intently at Rayan. Alana knows that Rayan is in desperate need of her full attention.

“Will you double up on a new status for me?” Rayan's question made Alana frown.

“What do you mean Rayan? And why are you crying? What happened?”

Rayan's tears came back.

“I want you to also be able to position yourself as a mommy for me.”

Alana was silent. Alana can guess, Rayan's sadness must have something to do with Caterine.

“Mommy.. He doesn't love me.. He just wants to have the treasure that I have Alana.. I don't want to have a mommy like that.”

Alana swallowed her saliva. Alana was not surprised if Caterine had such intentions. From her cunning and skilful attitude Alana could already understand. Caterine could never sincerely love Rayan as her biological child.

“What should I do if I want to double that status?” Alana asked as she wiped back Rayan's tears.

“Please love me sincerely. It's okay if you set me up for this that, as long as I can feel the affection of a mother I don't mind Alana.”

Rayan's words immediately pierced into the recesses of Alana's heart. Alana felt that pain. Rayan desperately longs for the heartfelt affection of a mother that Rayan never got from Caterine, her own biological mother.

Rayan immediately buried her face again as Alana looked back for comfort there. Rayan would no longer wish for Caterine's affection which obviously could never have loved her all this time.

Alana closed her eyes. His life is much more fortunate than Rayan who despite living with a treasure but never got the affection of her own biological mother. Alana was raised by the first wife of her father who was willing to accept and love her as a child. Alana never felt a lack of affection despite never seeing firsthand the figure of the woman who gave birth to her.

“Rest.. Close your eyes and calm your mind. I will always love you Rayan.” Whisper Alana while gently stroking the head of the back of Rayan.

Alana's speech was like hypnotizing Rayan because slowly Rayan closed both eyes until finally sleeping quietly.

After Rayan really fell asleep, Alana slowly moved Rayan's head on the pillow. Alana shed her tears looking at the handsome face of her poor husband. Rayan is only used by her own mother.

As she was about to get off the bed, Alana smelled the smell of blood. Alana circulated her gaze and was surprised to find that both of Rayan's hands were injured and shed a lot of blood. Rayan's blood even to the point of soiling the dress worn by Alana is also a clean white bed sheet that coats their soft mattress.

Didn't have the heart to see him Alana immediately took the P3K box. Alana immediately cleaned the blood that began to dry in Rayan's hands then immediately treated and wrapped it with gauze. Alana continues to shed her tears while dressing her wounds in the hands of Rayan considering the fate of her husband who was so unfortunate because he could not get genuine affection from the mother who gave birth to him.

 ---------

After knowing everything Caterine had planned, Rayan became so cold to her biological mother. Rayan even seemed reluctant to look at Caterine who continued to try to find face in front of him.

“How can your hand get hurt like this Rayan? jesus god..” Caterine pura put attention on Rayan who was being replaced by her bandage by Alana. The woman approached Rayan and Alana who were sitting in the garden seat behind her luxurious house.

Rayan. Rayan tried to strengthen her heart not to care for Caterine. Rayan felt very disappointed in Caterine who was trying to control her property.

“Slow down Alana.. It must have hurt a lot.” Caterine's word to Alana.

Alana just smiled. Alana didn't expect a woman like Caterine to be more concerned with possessions than her own child's feelings.

“Other times heart hearts son.” Caterine gently touched Rayan's sturdy shoulder but was immediately patted by Rayan.

“Ya.. I really have to be very careful now.” Reply Rayan without looking at Caterine who is beside his right.

After Alana finished changing the bandage that wrapped the wound in her hand, Rayan invited Alana to enter the house without even considering Caterine on her right. Caterine's sacrifice and struggle is indeed very large for Rayan, but the wound that Caterine scratched in Rayan's heart since Rayan was small to adulthood as now is also no less great.

“What server are you ok?” Alana asked as they were about to enter the elevator.

“Of course. I'm so good Alana as long as you're always by my side.” Rayan's smile answered.

Alana nodded in understanding. They then enter the elevator to take the same afternoon rest. It just so happens that today Rayan did not go to the office because Alana forbade it.

“Later tonight, beautiful dance yes. We accompany Sechil to meet Ramon.”