I'm Not a Substitute

Episode 26's

The more days Rayan and Alana's relationship is getting better. Alana is no doubt spoiled for Rayan who continues to be careless but romantic. Alana even asked Rayan to always give her a red rose every time she came home from work and Rayan obediently obeyed his wife's will.

Rayan stared at the red rose that Mr Lim had just given her. Rayan did not buy it directly. Rayan asked Mr. Lim for help to buy it at the flower shop that they always pass when on the way home every day.

“Mr..”

“Yes. Why Mr Lim?” Saut Rayan asked.

“That flower what mistress never protested?”

“Protes?”

“Pardon me in advance sir, did the madam not know I bought it?”

Rayan sighed. Alana never knew because she never asked. Maybe Alana thinks Rayan bought it himself instead of telling Mr. Lim. But Rayan always thought, Alana will be understood.

“He will definitely understand sir.”

Mr Lim nodded. Seeing from Alana's attitude it felt very unlikely if Alana could understand with Rayan's reason later.

When he arrived at the house, Rayan immediately gave a red rose that he brought to Alana. And as always, Alana was very enthusiastic about accepting it. Alana even gave a soft kiss on Rayan's cheek as a thank you.

“What do you want to eat?”

Rayan stared at the dish on the table in front of her. No sweet-sour shrimp she likes there.

“Who cooks?”

Alana smile.

“I assisted aunty and other maids.” Answer Alana.

Rayan nodded. The taste of Alana's cuisine is beyond doubt. Like her shrewdness in cooking is a valuable inheritance from her mother, Sari.

“Rayan, why even dumbass?” Alana looked at Rayan.

“Ah yes, sorry. Just get me the fried chicken and the soup.” Reply Rayan.

Alana nodded then immediately picked up what Rayan wanted and placed a plate of rice and fried chicken as well as a small bowl of soup in front of Rayan.

“Rayan.” Call Alana slowly.

“Hem.” Saut Rayan started eating his dinner.

Alana was silent for a moment. The woman sighed softly then looked back at Rayan who was eating her food.

“I'm late 2 days.”

Rayan frowned then looked at Alana.

“What plate?” Tanya Rayan was confused.

Alana smiled then lowered her head. The monthly guest schedule is already 2 days late. And Alana hopes that's a good sign.

“Let's talk in the room. Please continue again.” Said.

Rayan is confused. Alana made him very curious. Alana spoke a piece without any explanation. Rayan is very curious, but Rayan does not want to force. Rayan was sure Alana would explain later.

“You too, eat a lot ya.” Rayan's smile was nodded by Alana as her answer.

After dinner, Rayan immediately took Alana to the room. Rayan even to the point of ignoring his actual work is not finished for the sake of listening carefully to what his wife wants to say.

“You can say it now.” Rayan.

Rayan sighed feeling a little annoyed because of this.

“Telat 2 days. What does that mean?” Ask Rayan.

Alana chuckles amusedly. The woman who was now looking in front of the mirror looked at Rayan's reflection through the mirror in front of her. Her husband looked completely expressionless on the edge of the bed.

“I have not arrived in the month of Rayan. And it's been over from 2 days.” Answer Alana.

Rayan just kept quiet with the same look on Alana. Rayan is not a stupid man who does not know what his wife means. Rayan just felt a little too fast.

“I hope this is a good sign.” Alana's smile bowed her head staring at the belly of her queen.

Rayan sighed. If you say what is in his mind and heart now Alana will definitely misunderstand. Alana will also be very angry and consider Rayan a jerk.

“If I am really pregnant, are you happy Rayan?”

“Before I answer the question you can help you answer first my question?”

Alana frowning.

“What?” Ask curiously.

“Do you love me?”

Alana was silent. The smile engraved on Alana's lips slowly faded away. Alana always feels calm, comfortable, and happy with Rayan. But love, Alana has not seen her own heart about that love for Rayan.

“Don't shut up Alana, answer my question.”

Alana swallowed her saliva. Alana used to repay the love Dion had expressed to her. But Alana never felt what Alana felt when with Rayan when she was with Dion first. Alana's confused now. The feeling of love was never the slightest thought of Alana.

“I..” Alana took a breath. I don't know what Alana's gonna say right now.

“I...” Alana was silent. Alana looked at Rayan who kept waiting for an answer from her.

“Sorry Rayan.. I don't know.”

Rayan closed both of her eyes. There's a lot they've been through together. Rayan had even completely forgotten about Sakura now. Rayan can eliminate the habit of thinking of Alana as Sakura. The eyes now Alana and Sakura are very different, they are not the same and they are different people even though they are the same.

Rayan got up from her seat. Rayan was very disappointed. Alana has not been able to love him like Rayan who started to love Alana. With a slow step Rayan stepped towards the door but stopped as Alana called out to her.

“I'm sorry Rayan.” Lirih Alana's.

Rayan clenched both her hands. Rayan tried to hold back her anger because basically Rayan did not have the right to be angry. Alana was by his side because Rayan forced her. It would feel very selfish if Rayan also forced Alana to love him. Feelings can't be forced and Rayan knows it.

“No papa Alana. I understand.” Rayan's reply then passed from her room leaving Alana who could only silently stare at where she stood.

Alana knows Rayan must be angry but Rayan tries to answer. I don't know what made the man hold back his anger Alana herself didn't know. Rayan always forced her.

Alana lowered her head. Her tongue gently rubbed her queen stomach. Everything is uncertain. Alana's only 2 days late. Alana hasn't tested it. Alana hasn't been to the gynecologist to check it out either. But Alana really hopes the late arrival of her monthly guests is a sign that she is pregnant, pregnant with Rayan's child.

Tests

Alana unconsciously shed her tears. Alana felt very tight in her chest.

“Love? Do I really love him? or is this just a feeling of comfort?”

Alana asked herself. Alana was sick and disappointed in love. And now Alana again felt pain as soon as Rayan asked if she loved Rayan or not.

Alana rubbed the tears that were dripping down her cheeks. His feelings for Rayan now are very different from his feelings for Dion.

“God.. Please help me.”