I'm Not a Substitute

Episode 9

Alana looked in annoyance at Rayan who was eating her dinner. Alana really did not run out of thought, money can enslave someone including the servants in the house Rayan who are willing to withstand his drowsiness just to serve Rayan who is very ignorant of himself coming home late at night.

“Indeed you don't have cash until you can't eat out?”

Rayan stopped chewing the food in her mouth. In his eyes Alana who was so indifferent to play her own fingernails. Alana sat opposite him very lazily. Again Rayan felt that in front of her was not Alana, but Sakura.

“I didn't get to.” Answer Rayan casually.

Rayan finished her dinner, grabbed a glass of water and drank half of the water in her glass.

“Alana.”

Alana gave a quick glance at Rayan who was in front of her. Lazy is actually dealing with the forced man.

“So my assistant said you tried to open my laptop.”

Alana held her breath for a moment. The foreign man actually reported what he did to Rayan.

“I just want to borrow it to open facebook.” Alana tries to look ordinary when she makes up her mind. Alana doesn't want Rayan to know her plan.

“Only open facebook?”

Alana swallowed her saliva. Alana did not dare to return Rayan's gaze. Alana was afraid that Rayan could read her lies through Alana's eyes.

“Then why did you enter all the rooms in this house? Opening all nightstands and closets like thieves, then going into my work space and nagging at the photo of my lover.”

Alana's speechless. Rayan knew everything she was doing.

“Alana.. Please think smart. There is a lot of CCTV in this house. Why are you so stupid huh?”

Alana clenched her two hands. Rayan said the photo of the girl was a photo of her lover.

“What is Sakura?” Alana asked with tight clenched teeth.

Rayan looked at Alana cynically. The man casually sucked his back on the side of the chair that was his seat.

“Yes. You guys look alike, don't you?”

“What's that why you always call me with that call?”

Again, Rayan nodded.

“I look at you is him. I love her.”

Alana's chest is very angry. Rayan really thinks Alana is Sakura. And Alana can't accept that. Alana got up and kicked the table until it made the servants rush straight to the dining table. They thought that Rayan was angry.

“You love him. But you're holding me here. Don't you feel like what you did was wrong sir?” Press Alana to ask.

Rayan smiled. Alana was so brave to him. Scattering the table and asking in an emphasis-filled tone was also his sharp gaze.

“I'm sure as sure as he is. Sakura, she is so disgusted at you.”

Rayan clucking. This time someone dared to insult him. And that's Alana, his own wife.

“You're wrong Alana. Sakura, she loves me so much. He was very gentle and attentive to me. He is not like you who are grumpy and easily hate others.”

Pause for a moment. Rayan then got up and approached Alana. The man was standing right behind Alana who was still in control of her anger. Rayan stared at Alana's sweet appearance tonight. Knee-length soft pink nightclothes. Sakura's favorite color.

“Tomorrow, I'll take you to meet him.” Said Rayan later.

Rayan passed after that. The man stepped slowly leaving Alana who was still standing with anger that controlled her heart and mind. Alana unconsciously shed her tears. His position in the house was only as a substitute for Sakura. And suddenly Alana thought maybe tomorrow Sakura would come back and she would be dumped by Rayan.

Alana cried sobbing powerlessly holding tightness in her chest. His life is really a mess. His mother traded him for treasure. His lover betrayed him. And now he's a replacement for someone who looks a lot like him.

Alana continued to shed her tears even though she no longer sobbed. Alana cried in silence until the morning.

While Rayan, the man didn't sleep in Alana's room tonight. Rayan also did not care at all when Alana cried sobbing at the dinner table. It is true that men are selfish according to Alana.

The next morning, Rayan actually took Alana to Sakura's place. The man led Alana who was wearing dark glasses because her eyes were swollen from crying all night as well as dark circles because she did not sleep.

“Why go to a public funeral?” Alana asked in her heart. Alana did not refuse the grip of Rayan's large hand that was waiting for her through several tombs around her.

“Rayan..”

“We're here.” Sela Rayan stopped her steps when she arrived at a tomb covered in manicured green grass with a headstone made of shiny granite where the tombstone was written Sakura Deskaesar.

“This.”

“This is Sakura's final resting place.” Rayan interrupted him again.

“Sakura died a year ago. Exactly the day before our wedding.”

Alana sighed softly. Rayan looks very pitiful now. Rayan does not look like a cruel man who likes to force.

Alana releases the sunglasses she wears. A little bit of pain Alana felt around her swollen eyes.

“You know Alana.”

Rayan paused her words. The man drew closer to Sakura's grave and squatted down next to the tomb. Her cry gently rubbed Sakura's headstone to get rid of the dust that soiled the expensive black headstone.

“I thought you were Sakura's twin. But it wasn't. You guys just happen to be similar. But it's too similar in my opinion.”

Alana doesn't know what to say. Sticking with Rayan in front of Sakura's tomb felt less slick. After all, Alana had to be polite in front of Sakura's grave.

“I consider you Sakura. I'm honest Alana, I assume you're Sakura's replacement.”

Alana sighed softly.

“I am not a replacement for Rayan. As for you marrying me because you consider me Sakura it is because you are selfish and cannot accept reality.”

Rayan laughing. Alana is Sakura is wrong. Alana is very different from her Sakura. Maybe they are the same, but their personalities are different. They were even born from different families. Sakura is Alana, she's just a servant boy.

“Receiving reality is hard Alana. What else is the bitter reality.”

Alana's not whining. Rayan was right, accepting the harsh reality was not easy. As Alana accepts the fact that her mother prefers possessions to her appeal.

“Sa year Sakura disappeared from my side but her shadow remained so real until you finally came. The shadow is like merging with you, my wife.”

Alana smiled cynically.

“You know? if possible choose I want to switch positions with Sakura.”

“What do you mean?” Tanya Rayan looked up at Alana confusedly.

“Yes.. So you can be happy with Sakura. And I am happy in my eternal life.”

Rayan seemed to think. Rayan knows what Alana is feeling right now.

“Unfortunately that couldn't have happened Alana. You're my wife now. I forbid you to go first to that eternal life. I forbid you to die.”