I'm Not a Substitute

Episode 190's

After delivering Ramon and Sechil home, Rayan immediately went to his company. Rayan was relieved now. Sechil and Ramon's problem is over. And now it's time for Rayan to think about how good it is for Caterine, her mommy.

“Thanks for the time sir. And hopefully our cooperation can be smoother in the future. I'm sorry and good afternoon sir.” Said a fat-haired man shaking Rayan's hand. They just finished discussing the cooperation between companies that have been well established.

“Ya, good afternoon.” Rayan smiled faintly.

The man in a suit of ash suit then passed from the room Rayan until finally only Rayan left alone.

Rayan sighed then walked towards her desk. Rayan sat herself in her work chair with her back fully leaned. Rayan tried to think of what was best for Caterine and everything. Because Caterine could not be allowed to remain imprisoned while the conditions are very unlikely. Being brought home is also more unlikely as it would definitely harm Alana. Placed in a mental hospital it feels too cruel for Caterine considering Caterine is Rayan's own biological mother.

Rayan closed her eyes in frustration. Rayan knows behind all the problems he faces there must be wisdom and learning that he can take. But Rayan also cannot deny if Caterine's problems always drain his energy as well as his mind.

Tok tok tok tok

The sound of three knocking on the door made Rayan reopen both eyes. Rayan confirmed her sitting position and then called out to whoever knocked on her door to enter.

Slowly the door of Rayan's room opened, revealing Luky, who brought him lunch.

Luky immediately prepared the food for Rayan. Actually, it's not Luky's job. That is the job of the secretary Rayan. But Rayan never wanted if a woman took care of it too much if there is no sibling relationship. Therefore Rayan told Luky as his confidant to always prepare whatever Rayan wants.

“Lunch you're ready sir.” Said Luky facing Rayan who was just silent at his work desk.

“Thanks Luky.”

“Same as sir. Is there anything you need again sir?”

“No, that's enough. You can rest.” Rayan replied with a faint smile.

“Good sir. Then I'm sorry.”

Rayan nodded her head. After Luky passed from his room, Rayan got up from his seat then walked to the sofa where lunch for him was served on a glass table in front of the sofa.

Rayan puts herself on a couch. The atmosphere in the room was very quiet. And that silence made Rayan's mind could not be diverted from Caterine who was not okay now.

One incoming notification on his cellphone made Rayan jerked. The notification sounded very loud the sound may be due to the influence of the silence of the room Rayan plus the mind of Rayan who was slightly unfocused at that time.

Rayan got back up from her couch and stepped towards her desk. Rayan grabbed her cellphone and smiled when she found a short message sent by Alana.

At that time also Rayan's mind was immediately diverted. Rayan immediately contacted Alana to clear her mind.

For 20 minutes Rayan accompanied by Alana via video call. Although Alana could not be directly present, but it was enough to make Rayan return the spirit even unknowingly Rayan spent her lunch.

As soon as lunch time was over, Rayan resumed her work.

I don't think time comes home so soon. Before returning home Rayan chose to make a pilgrimage to impeach Richard.

Rayan crouched down beside Richard's tomb. The man took off the black glasses he was wearing. Rayan smiled. Richard's departure has been a long time. But the sense of loss is still felt so Rayan remembers her beautiful past with the Daddy.

“If only I could turn the time dad, I would have prevented daddy from leaving that night. And maybe now daddy is still with me.” Rayan muttered while putting a white rose she carried in front of Richard's headstone.

Rayan sighed. The wind that afternoon made Rayan feel cool on the skin of his face and even his body.

“But I know that everything that happens is God's destiny. Even though that night daddy did not go and could avoid the accident but daddy would definitely still go the other way.”

“Daddy must know what I'm going through. About my happiness, until my confusion daddy can definitely see it. Especially about mommy.”

Rayan sighed again, pausing for a moment of his words.

“Dad..maybe I can't fulfill daddy's request about mommy. Because after all I can't ignore mommy. Mommy has done a great job for me. Giving birth and breastfeeding me, it is a mommy service that I will not be able to redeem even with all the treasures I have now though dad.”

Rayan rubbed Richard's headstone. His togetherness with Richard that felt so short will not be forgotten in his lifetime. Richard who always takes time in the middle of his busy life to just accompany Rayan to play ball.

“Dad.. I beg you daddy.. Please bless everything I do.” Lirih Rayan with both eyes that began to look glass.

Rayan was silent, staring fixedly at Richard's name which was written in a tombstone made of precious marble. Richard's departure left a deep wound in Rayan's heart. But behind the wounds that Rayan felt there was a very valuable lesson that Rayan could pick up his lesson.

“It's afternoon dad.. I gotta go home.. My beloved wife must have been waiting for my return.”

Rayan wiped away the tears that were almost dripping down her tapered cheeks. The man then got up from his seat. His smile expands to look at the tomb of the daddy who is so neat and well-groomed.

“I go home first dad.. Daddy quiet there ya..”

Rayan sighed then stepped slowly away from Richard's tomb. Rayan was sure Richard would agree with what he was doing now. Because everything Rayan did for their common good.

Rayan got in her car. At medium speed Rayan drove his car. When in the middle of the road Rayan stopped his car precisely in front of a flower shop. Rayan smiled looking at the flower shop. Alana's smile suddenly overshadowed him making Rayan take the initiative to give a small surprise to his beloved wife.

Rayan got out of her car and stepped towards the flower shop. If in the past Mr. Lim who bought it even chose the flowers that Rayan would give to Alana, but not this time. Rayan chose her own flowers that she thought were good to give to Alana. Although he was confused, Rayan finally found the flower of choice for Alana.

Rayan smiled looking at the flower she was holding. Rayan hopes her choice can make Alana smile when she receives a little surprise from him tonight.