I'm Not a Substitute

Episode 84

Again Rayan could not close her eyes. Ramon's words during dinner last night continue to control Rayan's mind. It all makes drowsiness not to come Rayan feel.

Rayan sighed softly. In addition to Ramon's words, Rayan also thought of Caterine's attitude which was really very stubborn. Caterine rejects Ramon's good intentions of marrying Sechil.

“Still thinking of Ramon?”

Rayan. Rayan frowned looking at Alana who was staring at him.

“Why are you awake?” Rayan asked Alana.

Alana inching hugged Rayan's burly body.

“I also can't sleep well.” The answer.

Rayan smiled. The man briefly peeked at the top of Alana's head that was leaning against him.

“Ramon, how does he think you are?”

Alana frowning. Alana can not understand the attitude of a person only from the outside. Ramon looks nice and polite. But Alana can't guarantee that Ramon is indeed a good man.

“I don't know. But if Ramon wants to take responsibility it's good. What else if the reason is love. It's good that you talk to Sechil about Ramon.”

Rayan nodded in agreement with what Alana said. Sechil's approval is more important because Sechil himself will undergo if he wants to marry Ramon.

“You won't challenge if Sechil wants to? Maybe because Ramon is not a rich man?”

Rayan laughed softly hearing that. The man then released Alana's embrace. Rayan looked at Alana softly right at the two beautiful eyes of her woman.

“I'm not a crazy person for Alana's treasure. Even if I had to choose between you and everything I have now, I would prefer you.”

Alana frowning.

“But humans cannot live if they do not have Rayan's treasure. To survive.”

Rayan shook her head in rejecting what Alana said.

“You're wrong Alana. Man cannot live, not because of treasure. But because of the mind, heart, also energy.”

“Why can it be?” Tanya Alana was curious. Well, Alana was one of those people who thought that treasure was everything to survive in such a harsh city.

“Begini, if you live with treasure but do not have the mind to go forward and develop what you have slowly all you have will also run out. There our minds must work.” Reply Rayan.

“Then what about heart?” Alana asked even more and more wanted to know what Rayan said to her.

“Of course everything we do must be true banar sincerely from the heart. Don't just think about the outcome. But prosperity together.”

Alana smile. Her husband is a wise man. And his policy was covered in coldness which made him look a little scary to anyone who didn't really know him.

“Oke, I get it. What about energy?”

“Are you joking Alana. How can you not know, while for someone to step just requires energy. What else is struggling to navigate the rigors of life in the world.”

Alana laughed softly. The woman let go of her embrace looked up at Rayan who was also looking at her.

“But in addition to life in the world, we also have to think about the eternal life of the world Rayan. The world after our death later.”

“Ya Alana's. It is the duty of our heart as human beings. We do our best to live together in an eternal world. In heaven belongs to god.” Rayan Whisper.

Alana smiled and nodded in agreement. Everything Rayan said was true. Treasure is not everything. Treasure will not be taken to death. Nor will wealth ever make human life prosperous.

“Already night. We sleep.” Alana.

“Hem.” Rayan's smile then distanced her face and re-embraced Alana's body into his embrace.

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In contrast to Rayan and Alana who finally can be the same as closing their eyes asleep in a beautiful dream, Sechil actually continues to stand in the balcony of his room. Sechil pensively recalled what Ramon had said. Sechil did hear it directly because Sechil quietly peeked out from behind the wall.

Sechil sighed. His mistake with Ramon was too big. Sechil had betrayed her and even kissed a senior in the classroom in front of Ramon. Sechil is embarrassed to even feel unworthy to just meet Ramon again if he should marry him. Ramon is too good for him.

“Rammon.. I am also still very much expecting you actually.. But I'm not a good woman. I am no longer holy.. You deserve better everything than me.” Sechil muttered with a sense of tightness that filled his chest.

Sechil could not deny the beautiful taste that was still alive and continued to thrive in his heart for Ramon. Ramon's a very nice guy also takes great care of him. Ramon even refuses to touch her while Sechil is drunk and asks to make love.

Sechil closed his eyes feeling the breeze of the night wind that hit his beautiful face.

“You haven't slept Sechil?”

Caterine's voice made Sechil reopen his eyes. Sechil turned his head and found Caterine already standing by leaning her back casually on the glass door leaf. Caterine also folded her hands under her chest in a haughty style as usual.

“I can't sleep mom anymore.. Maybe because it was too long afternoon nap.” Sechil.

Caterine sighed then stepped closer to Sechil and stood right beside Sechil.

“Mommy why haven't you slept?” Ask Sechil slowly.

Caterine immediately stared at Sechil as soon as Sechil asked. And that gaze was right on Sechil's eyeball. So focused was trying to dive into what Sechil was thinking.

“That's what you should know Sechil. Mommy can't sleep because mommy feels like she lost you.” The answer.

Sechil. Sechil has always been at home and has never been out of the house since she was pregnant. Sechil no longer even cared about his lectures. Sechil felt embarrassed if he had to meet other people besides his own family as well as other residents of Rayan's house. Workers for example.

“What does mommy mean?” Tanya Sechil did not understand.

Caterine. His eyes were straight ahead. The woman in the dark brown night was sighing harshly.

“We didn't come here to ride Sechil's life. We're here to fight for what's supposed to be ours. But it seems you've forgotten all about it. You are now weak.”

Sechil lowered his head. Sechil has realized everything. It would be very evil if it still had such intentions after what Rayan did for him.

“Mommy has never lost Sechil. Sechil is always here with mommy.” Sechil.

Caterine smiled cynically. Her daughter who used to be so smart and naughty now looks so soft and weak in her eyes.

“Already, anyway mommy sure you will always help mommy. Oh yes, Ramon said he would marry you Sechil. You don't want to. You'll be miserable living the same man has nothing like him.”

Sechil just kept quiet. Sechil is eager to accept but Sechil feels inappropriate and too bad for a good man like Ramon.