God's Choice of Mate

Wounded again and destroyed.

My heart feels miserable.

Cih.

This time, Reno really embarrassed me.

How much he humiliated me in front of everyone.

Huhuhhu.......

Huhuhhu......

Sliced like pierced in an indiscriminate manner.

My tears did not stop breaking. The groaning was so painful.

The night is getting bigger.

Dark and cold as my mood is now.

Mr. Budi who was driving also looked confused and unable to speak.

His eyes look at my situation.

"Is Nak Rani okay? What can Mr Budi do for son Rani?," asked Budi worriedly.

Cringe crank!

The voice of Mr. Budi's mobile phone rang loudly. Mr. Budi glimpsed at the screen of his mobile phone who contacted him. Then Mr. Budi pulled over his car for a while to pick up someone who was calling him. Mr. Budi turned on the speaker from his mobile phone so that I could hear the conversation between Mr. Budi and Kak Roy. Even though my condition is sad right now.

"Assalamualaikum Pak Budi," asked Kak Roy.

"Wa'alaikumsalam Nak Roy," replied Mr. Budi.

"Sir Budi, is Rani currently with you?" asked Kak Roy in an anxious voice.

"Yes, Roy, Rani is with me right now. I am confused son Roy from earlier Nak Rani did not stop crying. Actually what happened to Rani son?,"Budi asked back.

"The story is long sir but for now I beg you to look after Rani yes sir."

"Of course Roy."

"Can Mr. Budi now send me the location of Mr. Budi and Rani's whereabouts?," said Kak Roy inquisitively.

"Well, let me hang up the phone for a minute. I will send the location to son Roy,"Pak Budi replied.

"All right sir, I'm waiting for a message from you. And as long as I haven't come to the location I beg you to take care of Rani, "ask Kak Roy to Pak Budi.

"God willing, son" replied Mr. Budi.

Moments later, Mr. Budi hung up the phone.

"Does Rani want to drink or want something?" asked Budi to me.

But once again I just remained silent fixated on seeing the quiet, quiet and dark path with eyes that seemed empty.

Then came the chanting of the Holy Quran from a microphone echoing in a mosque not far from our car which was pulled over.

The sweet voice of the Qori broke my daydream instantly.

His voice was like a magnetic field pulling me there.

My now restless and troubled heart became a shahdu for a moment.

My eyes looked forward and with a few deep breaths I wiped the tears that were soaking down my face.

I opened the car door slowly.

"Where is Rani going?" asked Budi worriedly.

I looked towards Pak Budi while saying, "Pak Rani wants to go to the mosque for a while. Rani wants to find peace and Rani wants to perform prayers isya because Rani had not prayed."

"Well son Rani then you also go there, as well as the father will pray isya .I also did not pray yet. Oh... yes, does the mosque seem to have been to us before?," asked Mr. Budi while looking at the mosque I want to go to.

After hearing Mr. Budi's words I saw the road around the car we pulled over. Then observe the mosque that I and Mr. Budi will come to.

"Yes Mr. Budi seems to be true we have passed here. It was a mosque that the other day we stopped by during heavy rain accompanied by strong winds," I said slowly.

"Yes, Rani, you remember too. Yes, we go there now, yes," said Mr. Budi to me while turning on the car engine.

Bremmmmm.....

The car engine was on and the car advanced slowly towards the mosque that we were going to stop by.

Not long after that, Mr. Budi and I arrived at the courtyard of the mosque. When I got out of the car and took my foot into the mosque somehow my heart felt so calm, peaceful and felt something that pulled me so strong.

Akh ...maybe this is a form of my longing for the house of God that I rarely go to my words in my heart.

I turned towards Mr. Budi he was checking his mobile phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

I'm replying to a message from son Roy, son Rani. You sent us back our current location.

"Have you sent the location of our existence now?,"tanyaku to Pak Budi.

"Not Rani yet, you just want to press the send button," replied Mr. Budi to me.

"It is better that Mr. Budi does not have to send our current location," I asked Mr. Budi.

"Why son ?it seems like Roy's son is very worried about Rani's situation," asked Mr. Budi to me with a little surprise.

"Rani doesn't want to trouble Mr. Roy. Especially now that Roy is married. And Rani does not want to make Rere as his wife Kak Roy misunderstand Kak Roy's attention to Rani," I replied slowly and slightly lethargic.

"Yes son, Mr. Budi understands that. But Rani's son knew that Nak Rot was married because he was forced and under pressure from the Suprapto family. And you also know that Nak Roy actually loves Nak Rani very much but the situation does not favor his heart to be with the person he loves is Nak Rani."

I was silent to hear Mr. Budi's words.

"Rani knows Sir and understands very well Kak Roy's situation. But it would be much better if Roy hadn't come to see Rani.

Rani doesn't want Roy to get in trouble again because of Rani , Pak," I said with a sad look.

"Father understands son. All right if that's Nak Rani's decision. You will not send our current location to Nak Roy. Although I actually feel sorry for Nak Roy. But as Nak Rani said for the good of Nak Roy and all of us.

Yes, you have been following what Nak Rani said, "said Pak Budi to me.

"Thank you Sir. Well then Rani took ablution water first yes sir," I said to Mr. Budi.

"Yes Nak Rani, the father will also take ablution water," said Mr. Budi.

"Well sir, we'll meet again here, yes" I said slowly.

After I finished taking the ablution water I entered the mosque and performed the tahiyatul prayer of the mosque before performing the prayer isya.

As a form of respect for the Mosque, as the parable of a person enters his house by beginning a greeting, and also as well as someone who says greetings to his friend when the two meet.

Salat tahiyatul mosque is also interpreted as opening our communication with the mosque and as a center of devotion to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.

Not long after, I finished praying.

As I sat down, I decided to strengthen my heart against the bad things I received.

"Laa ilaha illallah wahdahu laa syarika. Lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu wa huwa ‘ala kulli syai-in qadiir."

Meaning: “ There is no God but Allah. No allies for Him. His is power and His is praise. He who gives life and who dies. Upon him is goodness and He is All-Powerful over all things" I said softly trying to calm my heart.

My lips vibrate.

My tears are coming down.

Pain and tightness of the recesses of my heart feel burning.

When the memory in my mind recalls Kak Reno's treatment of me.

Tsk....

Then I wiped my lips with my fingers repeatedly.

Until my tears wet my face more and more.

"Astaghfirullahaladzim .O Allah forgive me, strengthen me, O Allah", I said in a soft voice and with trembling lips.

Huhuhhu......

Huhuhhu......

My crying grew and I was very much in peace before God, blowing away all my grief and sorrow.

With tears in my eyes I continued to read the chants of dhikr without caring about those around me.

I was very solemn and enjoyed the sentence after sentence of dhikr that I spewed to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala so that my heart would be strong again.

My voice was softly disguised in the echo of the loud voice of a Qori reading the holy verse of the Quran.

I was drugged as I listened to the sweet voice of the Qori that so moved my heart.

This time my heart trembled but not because of the pain I was feeling.

But a sense of amazement for my longing that requires the love of the Creator, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

I also listened to the Qori recite the verse of the chair which is included in the letter of Al-baqarah verse 255.

"Allahu la ilaha ilaha illa huw, al-hayyul-qayyum, la ta`khuzuhu sinatuw wa la na`um, lahik ma fis-samawati wa ma fil-ard, man zallazi yasyfa'u 'indahu illa bi`iznih, the, ya'lamu ma baina aidihim wa ma khalfahum, wa la yuhituna bisyai`im min 'ilmihi illa bima sya`, wasi'a kursiyyuhus-samawati wal-ard, wa la ya`uhu hifzuhumaa, wa huwal-'aliyyul-'azim."

That is: “ Allah, there is no God (who has the right to be worshipped) but He Who is Eternal Life again continuously takes care of (his being); not sleepy and not sleep. To Him belongs what is in the heavens and the earth. Can no one give a shafa'at to Allah without His permission? Allah knows what is before them and behind them, and they know nothing of the knowledge of Allah except what He wills. The seat of God covers the heavens and the earth. And Allah is not heavy in keeping them both, and Allah is Most High, Most Great."

Somehow the sound of this qori was not foreign to me I felt like I had heard this melodious voice before.

I tried to play back my memories and open my memory file to find out who the owner of this melodious sound was.

However, instantly my desire to try to remember the voice disappeared instantly.

When I heard someone call my name out loud but didn't scream.

"Rani ..nak Rani!.

Then I looked for the source of the voice and looked around me and it turned out that the person who called me was Mr. Budi.

I nodded towards Mr. Budi signifying that I heard his call.

Immediately I release the mucus and fold it and put it in its original place neatly after that I rushed to see Mr. Budi.

"Son Rani let's go home now. I'm afraid Mr. Sugeng and the others will be very angry if we come home late" said Mr. Budi.

Hearing the word go home my face became sad again. And I know Mr. Budi knows that my current feelings are uncomfortable to return to the Suprapto family residence.

However, with a heavy heart I accepted Mr. Budi's invitation to go home.

By stepping a little lazy I and Mr. Budi walked towards the car parked in the courtyard of the mosque.

However, before I could get in the car, Mr. Budi.

There was the sound of someone shouting a little to call Mr. Budi.

So that makes me and Pak Budi look back and look for the voice.

"Sir...!."

Shouted someone who walked towards me and Mr. Budi.

From a distance his face looks faint. But after he approached me and Pak Budi knew his figure.

"Oh...Masya Allah Nak Fariz apparently Pak Budi thought who called Mr. Budi," said Mr. Budi with a smile.

"Yes sir sorry I surprised Mr. Budi yes. Thank God we finally meet again Mr. Budi. When I was inside I was not sure if I saw Mr. Budi or not.

But , after I observed it was true that Mr. Budi was here. Then I quickly chased after Mr. Budi. Oh yes sir Budi what are you doing here?" asked ustadz Fariz to Mr. Budi.

"Oh, I and son Rani had stopped by to perform prayers. By the way, what is Fariz doing here?" asked Mr. Budi.

"Fariz here fills the tadarus and tadabur Quran Pak Budi. This activity is routinely carried out every night ba'da prayer isya in this mosque. Pak Budi if you are free and have time leniency can join here sometime if Pak Budi wants at once with the deck Rani can also come," said Ustaz Fariz with a smile.

"God willing to Fariz" replied Mr. Budi.

"Oh yes, Deck Rani how are you," asked Fariz to me.

"Alhamdulillah I am good justad," I replied.

"But I'm sorry to see that Rani's deck seems not good.Is this Rani deck sick or having problems?," asked Ustaz Fariz to me.

Hearing Fariz's ustadz question I was a little surprised and glanced at Mr. Budi.

"Alhamdulillah I'm good justad," I replied quietly reassuring ustaz Fariz.

"Oh really is that. Maybe I misjudged and misinterpreted the state of Rani's deck, "said ustadz Fariz while thinking a little.

"Yes, we wanted Fariz to go home first because it was already night. Later sometime if there is time insha Allah I visit the home of Fariz son," said Mr. Budi with a little haste.

"Oh yes, Mr. Budi, please."

However, I have not had time for Mr. Budi to tell ustad Fariz suddenly Kak Roy came.

"How are you doing? brother is worried about you?" said Roy with a gasp and a very anxious face.

I was very surprised to see Roy suddenly in front of me.

"How did Roy know Rani was here? ask to Roy."

"So after Mr. Budi sent the location of your first existence, brother continued to search but did not find you and Mr. Budi.

Then somehow the instinct of the heart of my brother was moved to come here.And right when in the parking lot brother saw the car driven by Mr. Budi is here. Maybe God led brother to look for you Ran," Roy said.

"So, Brother Roy shouldn't have come looking for me."

"Why Ran? brother is really worried about you."

"Rani doesn't want Roy to get in trouble because of Rani. And Rani also does not want if Rere misunderstands our closeness, brother.

And most importantly now Kak Roy must know that Kak Roy is married and has a wife named Rere.

And Rere is my best friend.

And I don't want to hurt her and hurt her because Rani knows she loves Roy so much" I said emotionally.

"Then what about your sister's feelings for you, Ran? do you not care at all? Does brother mean nothing to you?" asked Roy.

And I was just speechless hearing Brother Roy's question.

"Even though Rere was to be the wife of that brother or whoever it was. In the heart of big brother there is only you an Ran no other woman can replace your position until anytime. And big brother wants you to know Ran, big brother really loves you very much" said Roy with teary eyes.

I looked towards Roy. My heart felt slashed to see it that way .I really felt so guilty towards her.

"But now we're away, brother, and each of us is bound by a relationship that limits our feelings of love" I said slowly.

"Don't talk like that Ran. We will come together to find solutions to all the problems that bind us, the problems that limit our feelings, the problems that rob us of the love we have to be together. And you just need to convince and strengthen yourself through all these trials," Brother Roy asked me.

And when Roy and I were saying the word.

Suddenly....

PLAQUEkkkkk....

Brother Reno came smacking Kak Roy's face until Kak Roy fell down on the ground.

And seeing that, I cried hysterically.

"Astagfirullah, Brother Roy....".