God's Choice of Mate

Begging Allah's guidance Subhanahu wa ta'ala

After speaking with Reno and understanding the direction of his conversation I decided to ask for guidance from Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala by performing the Istikharah Salat to strengthen my heart on the decision that God will choose for me.

Verily, I am a weak creature and need the help of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala in all his affairs. Which I must myself believe that I do not know the things of the ghoib and do not know which good and bad things happen in the future. Therefore, among the wisdom of Allah Ta’ala to His servant, He advised his servant to’a so that a servant can be supervised (an activity to take the means or the will so that our prayers or worship can be accepted by Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala) to His Lord to eliminate difficulties and obtain them kindnesses.

And I am very sure and there is no doubt that the one who governs all affairs is Allah Ta’ala. He is the One who determines everything as He wills in His servant.

As in the Qur'an Surat Al Qashash: verses 68 to 70 which reads;

Wa rabbuka yakhluqu ma yasya'u wa yakhtar, ma kana lahumul-khiyarah, subhanallahi wa ta ‘amma yusyrikun.

Meaning:

Your Lord created and chose what He will. There is no choice for them. Glory be to Allah and High to Him by what they associate.

(QS. Al Qashash:ayat 68)

Wa rabbuka ya ma tukinnu ma tukinnu senturuhum wa ma yulinun.

Meaning:

Your Lord knows what is hidden (in) their bosoms and what they declare.

(QS. Al Qashash:ayat 69).

Wa huwallahu la ilaha illa huw, lahul-hamdu fil-ula wal-akhirah, wa lahul-hukmu wa ilaihi tour.

Meaning:

He is God, there is no god but Him. Praise be to Him in the world and in the Hereafter, and to Him (and so) all judgment. Only to Him you are returned.

(QS. Al Qashash:ayat 70).

Indeed, only Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala has the right to choose what He wills. And what He wills will be, and what He will not be. All good and bad things are in His hands and come from Him.

I resolved to hope that what was hidden in my heart would be a choice for God and establish that choice for me to make.

After that I performed two prayers and berdo’a with do’a istikhoroh:

"Bismilahbornrahmanirrahim."

"Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ‘ilmika, wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika, wa as-aluka min fadhlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdiru, wa’lamu wa laa a’lamu, wa anta ‘allaamul ghuyub. Allahumma fa-in kunta ta’lamu hadzal amro (continuing my marriage with Kak Reno) khoiron lii fii ‘aajili amrii wa aajilih (aw fii dini wa ma’aasyi wa ‘aqibati amrii) faqdur lii, faqdur lii, wa yassirhu lii, tsumma baarik lii fiihi. Allahumma in kunta ta’lamu annahu syarrun lii fii dini wa ma’aasyi wa ‘aqibati amrii (fii ‘aajili amri wa aajilih) fash-rifnii ‘anhu, waqdur liil khoiro haitsu kaana tsumma rodh-dhinii bih."

"That means: By the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Merciful.

O God, I have indeed scorned You with Your knowledge, I ask You for strength with Your strength, I ask You with Your glory. Surely You are the One who predestines and I am not able to do so. You are the All-Knowing, and I am not. You are the one who knows the great things. O God, if You know that this matter (continuing my marriage to Reno) is good for me in my affairs in the world and in the hereafter, (or good for my religion, livelihood, and the end of my affairs), then do it for me, make it easy for me and bless it for me. O God, if You know that it is bad for my religion, my life, and the end of my business (good to me in my worldly and hereafter), then take it from me, do what is best for me wherever it is so that I get along with it."

"All praise be to Allah for whom all good things are made perfect."

"Aamiin allahumma aamiin (Give me O Allah grant).”

My body trembled with a feeling of leaning towards the choice I was about to make.

Strong determination with this belief is the best choice.

My heart feels calm and steady.

There is no doubt and no doubt.

Not long after that, I came out of my bedroom.

I'm looking for Reno, but I can't see him.

Until finally my eyes were fixed on the figure who was sitting in the prayer room (small mushola) of this family while chanting holy verses

Quran.

Apparently Brother Reno is here in my heart.

Slowly I went inside so as not to disturb Brother Reno who was solemnly enjoying reading the Qur'an.

I sat slowly away from her while waiting for her to finish.

I enjoyed the sweet sound of his voice and drugged my sense of hearing.

Dear God, I do not think Reno can read the Qur'an of this wisdom.

Light and fast, character soft, smooth, and nuanced full of sadness to be able to arouse emotions for those who hear it.

The atmosphere around became more peaceful, calm and full of blessings.

I occasionally observe Reno from a distance.

The Qur'an I gave him which he now reads.

It turns out that he kept it and took good care of it.

I smiled a little because he took care of and used the Qur'an very well that I gave him.

Her voice echoed beautifully through my heart.

He still did not realize my arrival.

As soon as I heard his eyes closed, I enjoyed it.

Not long after that, Brother Reno's voice weakened and disappeared.

I opened my eyes.

And dregggggg....

He sat in front of me.

Dag...Digs...The Dug....

Serrrrrr.....

My heart is beating fast.

Again and again those eyes looked at me deeply.

His smile broke the tension between us.

"Rani's been here a long time?" she asked while looking at me.

"Not too long," I said a little groggy.

"Why not directly call brother.What does Rani secretly want to look at brother?,"he asked teasingly.

I feel wrong.

"Akh..ehhhh..no not so kak.Rani does not want to disturb Brother Reno who is solemnly reading the Qur'an," I asked.

"Certainly?," he said while looking at me.

"Yes right" I replied quickly.

"Why did Rani come here?didn't we just meet.Did Rani miss big brother?, "his god again.

I scrunched my forehead.

"If Brother Reno talks like that I'd better get out of here" I said a little annoyed.

I want to stand away from the prayer room.

However, I haven't had time to carry out my intention Brother Reno's hand has already grabbed my hand and grasped it.

"Don't upset Ran," he persuaded.

"If Rani leaves means that Rani really misses big brother," she said.

Looking at me who was increasingly uncomfortable with her joke.He pulled my hand slowly to sit quietly in front of her.

"Sister is just kidding Ran," he said with a smile.

I also sat back by holding back the thumping feeling that was getting more and more erratic.

"Did Rani want to give an answer to big brother?" she asked seriously.

I nodded slowly.

"And Rani is already convinced of Rani's choice" asked Kak Reno again.

I nodded while looking at him.

"Silver wants to know and can not wait for Rani's answer.May it is the same choice as what you have hoped for so far Ran," he said with a look full of hope.

Those eyes...

That look...

It makes me feel wrong.

For a moment we both fell silent and just looked at each other.

However, our thoughts are headed in a different direction.

"Ran, I'm not ready to hear Rani's decision," he said with a tense look this time.

Hufhhh.....

I let out a breath.

Trying to calm my heart that keeps pounding the longer the faster it gets.

"Bismillah," I said slowly.

Brother Reno looked at me straight without blinking.

"Sir, after Rani performed the prayer of istikharah.Hati Rani in shaylah steady and sure without the slightest sense of doubt."

Brother Reno looked at me sharply and listened to me earnestly.

"In shay Allah the best choice for Rani on the permission of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is." I paused for a moment.

We looked at each other.

While Reno's sister is very tense waiting for my answer.

"What is Ran,"he asked curiously.

I smiled slightly to answer her question.

Brother Reno seemed to wrinkle his forehead hinting that I should immediately inform him of my choice.

"Say Ran," she said as she held my hand.

This time his hands felt cold and tense.I can feel the vibrations from his body.

I returned his gaze with confidence.

"Rani's choice is to stay with Reno and be willing to marry officially sister."

I'm not done yet I want to complete my sentence.

His hands quickly but gently pulled at my body.

Drapppp....

Suddenly everything stopped.

Silence in the links of the heart.

It was so close to me that his scent clearly anesthetized my sense of smell.

Deep and deeper he held me tight.

I was swept up in the flow of my feelings for her.