God's Choice of Mate

Amendment

My life was ruined and died after my mother's departure.

Everything feels empty and empty.

The backrest and support of my life has gone a long way for ever to leave me.

Arrrgggggh...... Arrghhhhhh

My mind is struggling in the outpouring of my tears.

O Allah, why do You leave me alone.

Why are you calling Mother so quickly.

Why does all this have to happen to me.

Why would....Why would...O Allah..,"my inner.

I understand Your resolve but all so suddenly.

Now what should Rani do, O Allah," I said softly.

My body is still weakly rolled over the back of the chair.

I put my face in the folds of both my hands.

The tears kept flowing incessantly soaking my face and my veil.

I don't know how many tears continue to flow but it also does not make my heart suffer less.

In my sadness slowly a soft voice called out to me.

"Roman..Ran.don't be sad anymore Ran,"take hold of my shoulder slowly.

I remained silent not caring about the sound but he kept trying to calm me down.

"Roman...Ran..Rani..drink first yes, you have not eaten and drank anything Ran," he said slowly.

A voice that is not foreign to me.

I slowly raised my head to look at the voice that kept calling out to me even though I didn't want to be so responsive.

"Ran..," he said again.

My blood felt blazing after seeing the figure of the person who had called me.

"Ran..drink first yes," he persuaded.

My beautiful and puffy eyes looked at him cynically.

"Ran.I know you don't like to see me but please drink first, just a little bit is okay," he said.

I just kept quiet and looked at her with a lot of resentment and hate.

"Ran..,"call her.

"Better Brother Reno just go!," I said with a limp body.

"I won't go Ran before you drink.

Please drink a little, "he asked.

"Sir Reno doesn't have to pretend to care and act well in front of me" I replied.

"I'm not pretending to be Ran, I'm really worried about you" replied Brother Reno trying to convince me.

I just smiled cynically.

"So Reno has left.

Rani doesn't need your sympathy.

Isn't this why Reno is happy to see Rani suffer and be devastated."

"Why can you think like that Ran?," he asked.

"Just ask yourself Reno.

Already brother, it is better that brother go out from before me.

Honestly, Rani doesn't like to see Reno.

Go, brother..go!," I shouted slowly.

"I know Ran, big brother made a lot of mistakes with you."

"Then what do you want, Reno,"tanyaku.

"Sorry of you Ran and drink a little of this water yes," he asked.

"No, please get out of my sight, brother".

"I won't go Ran before you drink first."

"Go away from here," I shouted in a raucous voice.

Brother Reno still did not go and tried to calm me down .

I kept crying and told him to leave.

"No Ran, I don't want to go" he replied.

He slowly placed the glass filled with water on the table beside the chair I was leaning on.

His eyes glazed over at my condition.

Eyes I've never seen before.

I tried to turn my eyes away from her but quickly both her hands pulled at my limp body.

I thrashed in his arms.

"Let go. and get away from me" I said softly.

Brother Reno hugged me and cried.

Hiksc....Hikkkx...

My body felt helpless in his arms, my head was dizzy and faintly visible.

Pleggg.

"Roman...Ran..Raniiiiii..," cried Sister Reno.

I was unconscious.

 

After a few days I was hospitalized.

Grandpa took me to live in his residence.

It was my great hope to get away from the great Suprapto family but what a weak day I was helpless after the mother's departure.

I open my eyes slowly to see the situation around me looks like Ms. Riska and Ms. Sri take care of me.

Madam Sri fell asleep next to me looking tired of decorating her look ayu even though she was not young anymore.

On the other hand Ma'am Riska also sleeps on the sofa.

He also seems to be sleeping hard and very tired.

I slowly strengthened my body to try to sit down.

I tried calmly not to wake Ms. Sri and Ms. Riska.

My head still feels a little dizzy.

My throat was dry and I took a glass of water from the table beside my bed.

“Bismilbornrahmannirrahiim.” Which means: “By mentioning the name of Allah the Most Merciful, the Most Merciful.”

I took a slow breath and gulped down a little water.

Glegg...

“Alhamdulillahilladzi ath 'amanaa wa saqoonaa wa ja'alanaa minal muslimiin.”

It means: "All praise be to Allah who gives us food and drink. And make us Muslims."

My mouthfuls of wet lips were hit by water with my fingers soft.

I looked at the clock on the wall, which showed at half-three in the morning.

I'd better perform the tahajud prayer I thought.

With painstaking effort and slowly finally I can stand up and take the water.

It feels really cool and fresh ablution water that washes my limbs.

Not how long I also performed the tahajud prayer.

I immerse myself in the decree of the Creator by setting both my hands on His guidance and guidance.

My lips blur in tears that never stop flowing.

Astaghfirullah, alladzi la ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyumu wa atuubu. “I ask Allah for forgiveness, a Deity that has no god but Him.

Hughhhh.arrgggghhh.

Tesss..tessss...tessss.

“Robbanaa laa laa lamaa khidznaa innasiinaa au akhtho’aa tuhammilnaa maa laa thoo qatalanabih, w‘ fuanna waghfirlanaa warhamnaa, robbana walaa tuhammilnaa maa laa thoo qatalanabih, anta maulana fansurnaa ‘ala al qaumilkaafiriin.”

Meaning:

“Yes our Lord, do not punish us if we forget or we are wrong. Our Lord, do not burden us with a heavy burden, as You have burdened those before us.

Our Lord, do not give us what we cannot bear. Give ma’aflah us, forgive us and mercy us.

You are our Helper, so help us against the disbelievers.”

Hikkksss.....Hikkssssss.

I took a deep breath back so that my chest would not feel tight.

Sometimes I wipe the tears that flowed profusely soaked my cheeks and I continued to pray again.

“Allahumma Fighfirlii Wa Liwaa Lidhayya Warham Humaa Kamaa Rabbayaa Nii Shaghiraa.”

Meaning: “Yes Allah, forgive all my sins and the sins of my parents, and be merciful to them both as they were merciful to me when I was a child.”

Aamiin yaa rabbal 'alamiin.

Means: "Give me O Allah May You Give Me".

I buried my face into both my legs and my arms.

I tried hard and hard to face all the trials of God.

For I am sure God will help me through all these trials.

La haula wala quwata illa billah means "No power and effort except by the power of God" I said with a sob.

"Ran..,"call Bu Sri to hold my shoulder gently.

Apparently he woke up hearing my crying.

He wiped my tears gently and kissed my forehead lovingly.

"Strong Rani, son, mother is also your mother" she said, hugging me tightly.

Hiksss.....

We both dissolved in sobs in the silence of dawn.